Bad choices

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Nancy, Sep 6, 2007.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I posted a couple weeks ago that my difficult child started her junior year of hs and I was worried about some of her classes and the kids that would be in them, but resigned that she would have to prove that she changed and make her choices.

    Well..........sad to say she's proved that she is still drawn to the "bad boys". I knew she was hiding something in her purse Tuesday night, her friend wrote on her myspace wall "be smart, don't do drugs". We got into an argument yesterday morning when she refused to show husband and I what was in her purse. She texted me after school and said she wasn't coming home, she was going places.

    After many texts and calls back and forth and the threat of the cell phone company tracing her location and giving the info to the police she told me where she was. I suspected it all along. He drinks and uses drugs, as do all his friends. Stupid kid had a blog on his myspace with his full name (it is a very different name and I could never have guessed the last name or spelled it).

    By 6:15 p.m. she was suppose to be at flags but we had a feeling. I found the phone number in the book, husband called, read him the riot act and picked difficult child up and took her to flags after telling her that she was now grounded indefinitely, her temp license was pulled, I would be picking her up every day after school and if she didn't like any of those consequences her cell phone would be disconnected and she could find someplace else to live.

    You know I felt something coming for a while now. I have a strong sense when something is wrong with my family, it's almost overpowering. Maybe it's come from years of reading signals from my dad who was an alcoholic and caused turmoil in the home.

    I wish I had better news but the only good thing in all this is when I called all her friends yesterday trying to find her they all told me they were very upset with her and hadn't talked to her in days now. Hoping peer pressure takes over.

    Nancy
     
  2. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    <span style='font-size: 11pt'>Sheesh Nancy, she sure gets distracted by those bad boys. I'll keep my fingers crossed that the combination of serious parental consequences and peer pressure put her on the right path.
    Sometimes it seems that they get hypnotized by the wrong things. I hope she stays away from the drugs and alcohol. It will make things a little more reasonable. Good luck.</span>
     
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    {{Nancy}} Your difficult child sounds just like my difficult child. It's almost as if things are going so well, they must find a way to foil it. And foil it they do!

    Reading about your intuition and true mommy gut really had my shaking my head in agreement. I too grew up in an alcoholic home and it's true, we develop a very strong 6th sense to the constant shift in emotions like a barometer. I can always tell when something is up with difficult child, well, anyone for that matter. Like right now I can feel it in every bone of my body that difficult child is up to no good. Something is afoot and all I have to do it dig just a tiny bit and I will find out what it is. My difficult child will be 18 in a month so I'm trying not to do that. I am almost waiting for her to mess things up without my finding her out just so *possibly* hits near bottom and figures out a few things. She's so heck bent on moving out of our house (with what I don't know, she's jobless and has no money), so I'm not making it easy on her.

    I sure hope that whatever plan you've set up for your difficult child helps. I feel I've tried everything and she is just destined to learn on her own in the hardest way possible.

    Hang in there, hugs.
     
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Nancy

    Sounds like difficult child has some great friends. Hopefully they'll be able to get thru to her, and on top of the consequences it just won't be worth it for difficult child to hang out with the bad boys.

    Makes ya wanna shake em til their teeth rattle. :rolleyes:

    (((hugs)))
     
  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yuck! Hopefully, she will turn it right back around. Fingers crossed!
     
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Nancy,

    Is there <u>any</u> chance she would consider going to therapy to learn why she keeps picking bad boys? I swear I did the exact same thing at her age. It took me years, an abusive marriage and counseling to understand why I kept picking and chosing to hang out with loosers.

    Funny story - the love of my life? A long haired, biker with tattoos. When I met him I was at the end of my "why you do what you do" therapy and I thought AH HA this is a test. Ended up he was the best thing that ever happened in my adult life. And he's not really bad. He just looks that way.

    I think you're right about your dad and your 6th sense of knowing an impending storm is coming. Due to my x, I get similar feelings regarding difficult child. You're spot on about it. Trust your instincts always.

    Here's a hug and hopes for a better year.

    Star
     
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhhhhhhhh, I am so sorry.
    I've got my fingers crossed.
     
  8. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Oh Nancy, Nancy, Nancy.

    I wish the news was better right now but am glad you guys are nipping this in the bud quickly. Hopefully the consequences will give difficult child pause to think about her choices next time. Glad she has some good girlfriends that care about her.

    hugs and care,
    Tammy
     
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