bearly hanging on

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by babyblue31, May 25, 2008.

  1. babyblue31

    babyblue31 New Member

    hi im a single mom of a 4 yr old with adhd and cant get no help for him its driving me crazy im so stressed out all the time i hate to say it but i pray for bed time to come so i cant get a break i love my son so much he just drains me every day i dont know what to do can any one help or is any one going through the same thing i feel like im the only one and nobody understand
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Are you sure his only or main problem is ADHD? Often that's the first diagnosis. but it is often incorrect. Has he tried medications? Do you have any psychiatric or mood disorders on either side of the family tree? Substance abuse? Was his early development normal? Speech, eye contact, fine and large motor skills, peer interaction, etc. Who diagnosed him?
  3. babyblue31

    babyblue31 New Member

    his dad was adhd and a therispt and his pediatrician. and a er doctor all said hes adhd and they wont give me medications for him cuz hes only 4 and his devlopment was normal
  4. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad


    ADHD is uncommon to diagnosis that young, although it's not unheard of. Unfortunately, my experience is that docs diagnose ADHD one of two ways: either (a) they do a thorough famly history analysis, along with a battery of diagnostic tests on the patient, and/or (b) prescribe ADHD medications, and see if they work.

    With a 4YO, you could get a family history that indicates ADHD, but it would be hard to perform the diagnostics on your son to confirm. And ADHD medications are powerful pyschoactive stimulants, and could be rough on someone so young. So, while IANAD ("I am not a doctor"), it stands to reason that your docs are probably right on the medications.

    That said, there are other things you can do. The biggest "lie" told about ADHD is that "medications will cure it". No, medications will NOT cure ADHD. It cannot be cured. medications will help the brain function correctly, but proper treatment for ADHD is medications combined with effective therapy to teach coping mechanisms. The therapy is just as important as the medications, maybe more so. In my own case, I wasn't diagnosis'd until I was over 30, but had learned coping mechanisms on my own that helped me be somewhat functional before I was diagnosed and started medications.

    So, even if you can't get medications for your son, there's no reason that you can't start working with him right now on learning the behavioral side of ADHD treatment. The biggest challenge at that age will be frustration, which can lead to anger issues. So anger management and basic organization skills should help. There are quite a few good books on this that you could read; I don't know of any that are specific to very young ADHD sufferers, but someone else here might know.

    Also, I would be careful on the diagnosis, since symptoms of ADHD can mimic (or overlap) symptoms of other illnesses and disorders. At 4YO, I think it would take a pediatric psychiatrist or neurologist to accurately diagnosis something like ADHD (over something like Bipolar or other issues). I would caution you to seek medical advice from someone you trust, who is reputable, and most of all qualified to make such a diagnosis. Barring that, the safest thing is to stay away from the medications and start learning coping mechanisms (both for your son, and for YOU).

    Just my humble two cents - hope it helps.

  5. Joeman

    Joeman New Member

    My DS was diagnosed with ADHD at age 3.5 by a developmental pediatrician after two visits spanning 6 months. He is presently on a non-stimulant medication for impulsivity and aggression and it is helping a lot with aggression, moderately with impusivity and a little with hyperactivity. The medication does NOT impact his distractibility though. I pushed for his diagnosis at the recommendation of a number of his teachers and early intervention therapists. Does your DS attend preschool? Do you live in the US? If so, you should be able to get school and support services through your local school district. My DS has preschool 5 days a week with transportation. The structure of school plus the break it offers me have improved things for us. Things aren't 'normal' around here but they are 'better'. Good luck.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry things are so rough. I just wanted to send hugs and support.

  7. graceplease

    graceplease New Member

    Just wanted to give you a cyber hug from a fellow single mom. I totally get where you are at with praying for bedtime to come. Sometimes I pray that morning will wait a little longer so the day won't start before I'm ready to face it (Know what I mean? ?).
  8. adearing01

    adearing01 New Member

    I know exactly how you feel. My son was diagnosis at just over 3 yr with ADHD. We tried behavior modification for several months until the preschool said we must do something or he is out. Started out on Clonidine, then changed doctors.
    Anyway, I have to tell myself several times a day "every day is a challenge, but you are his mother for a reason." I am not saying I am perfect, far from it sister, but focus on the positive aspects of your son. Sometimes the good is clouded by thinking about the bad.

    Many hugs! Be strong!