Brief update...nice twist

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Nomad, Apr 2, 2011.

  1. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    The last month was difficult in difficult child world....but knock on wood....there is a turn for the better.
    Can't totally explain it and I know better x100 to think it is going to last. Sure, I hope it does...but I KNOW better.
    Anyway, difficult child is taking her medications once again. Last week, without any reminders from us, without asking us for a ride one way, she went to see her p-doctor on her own and was on time and appropriate. I was IMPRESSED. Now, she says she is thinking about seeing a t-doctor if she can find one close to her apartment.
    AND.... She was going to move from her apartment (what a surprise) but at the last minute, decided AGAINST it. (She moves A LOT!)
    She has one on and off friend living there, but made an arrangement with him that he can't stay unless he cleans the place, including her kitty litter boxes. She seems to have only the one person living there (good indications that this is true)...kind of part time...and he cleans per her insistence. ODD/strange arrangement, but at least it is one person only and she is making them work for their keep.
    Speaking of which, she ran of money for food (what a surprse...please forgive my ugly sarcasm!) She called and asked if husband or I had any work for her.
    I had tons of folding (clothes) and a few other little things and today she came to the house for 2.5 hours and was dressed appropriately and totally polite and did the work. She had lunch, we paid her and she left.
    Well...certainly not an ideal world, by ANY MEANS. Certainly NOT the world I pictured for my daughter.
    But there was no arguing, no drama.....and she was appropriate, polite and seems to be trying once again.
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Appropriate, polite, on her medications... WOW.

    I'm impressed! No, it's not what you might have wanted, but... Given the past... Not too bad! ;-)
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Trying, in my opinion, is always a good thing. Sure, they may stumble and fall or backslide into old behavior.......but sometimes enough of that (rinse and repeat) and the light goes on for them.

    I may be the eternal pessimist.....but even I'm impressed. Wow!

    Nichole has had a lot of stumbling and falling and backsliding along the way. She may again in the future. Being the pessimist......I remind myself of that often. I figure that way I won't be blindsided should it happen. lol (typical difficult child mom thinking huh?) But it has seemed with each stumble, and a couple plunges over the edge, managed to make Nichole more determined. I hope it's the same for your difficult child and she manages some success to help keep her moving forward.

  4. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Baby steps...but she's moving forward. I still pay difficult child to do chores, he doesn't live here, and I know he wastes money on cigarettes and beer, but I don't ask or care. It doesn't happen often and he really has to do work around here. It's ok, it's not a handout (much). It's great that she got herself to the appointment. with-o your reminder.
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911


    I'm impressed beyond belief! Sometimes when you let them sink or swim? Or even throw them a life vest? They take the life vest and swim!

    All I can say is GOOD JOB GIRL! Any woman who can get a man to clean a cat litter box is a strong woman in MY book! WOW!

    GOOD FOR HER! And going to her psychiatrist and taking her medications all on her own? FANNNNNNNN TASTIC!

    Prayers answered! We have ALWAYS offered work for pay because if I had to take someone in from the streets and pay them? It would be more. So why not let it be family?

    GOOD JOB MOM! Hugs
  6. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a nice turn around. Just goes to show us that in the world of difficult child's what may seem like a disaster waiting to happen one day can turn into something very different the next. I'm glad she is back on her medications and acting appropriately.

    I know what you mean about not being the life you imagined for her. One of the most difficult things for me has been to change my standards and learn to accept difficult child on different terms that I had hoped for her.

  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Your post brings hope to the rest of us. Thanks so much for sharing. Fingers crossed that she is seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Wouldn't that be great? Yeah! DDD
  8. KFld

    KFld New Member

    As one of the alanon sayings goes "expect progress, not perfection"

    Great news!!