happysquid
New Member
Hi Everyone. I am new to this website and have identified with most of the posts I have read. I have a 17 year old son (stepson that I have known since he was 6 months old and have always referred to him as my son) that was diagnosed with ODD about 2 years ago. We tried medications and they worked for a little bit and then he accused me of drugging him. I wasn't even at the appointment when he was diagnosed and put on medications, his Dad took him. My son was the one who jumped at the idea of trying medications when the doctor suggested it. I was simply the one who handed him his pill in the morning. He simply refused to take them anymore. The last 2 years have been a bitter hell and my husband and I are fed up. Husband wants to kick him out when he turns 18 in 3 months. I used to be against the idea but the last few months have started steering my mind the other direction. My son is very defiant of almost everything we ask of him or that is expected of him. He does it also with his father but not as much because i think he knows Dad won't tolerate it. I am always the one trying to reason with him and giving him the benefit of the doubt that things will get better. He is irresponsible with all privleges we give him and refuses to follow the simplest of house rules. Simple things like take your shoes off at the door, please ask to use your Dads tools in the garage, don't use your cell phone during class hours, please ask other people to use their things, etc. What do you do when simple requests are continually being defied? We can't get him to do 5 simple chores on a daily basis, his grades are falling. He just doesn't seem to care about anything or anyone. Everything is an argument with him. It's either his way or no way. He says compromise doesn't benefit anyone so why bother. We have an 11 year old daughter that is tired of all this drama as well and we are concerned as to how this is affecting her. She too is to the point that she just wants her brother to go away. I am riddled with feelings of failure as a parent, guilt, etc. But at the same time we have tried all the tactics out there: chore charts, point systems, counseling(where he just lies and maniplates the counselors and admits we are just wasting our time), allowance, doing nothing, positive reinforcement, taking things away. He is just hell bent on doing what he wants, when he wants. I don't know what else to do but kick him out and hope he figures it out on his own. The rest of the family can't go on living like this when he doesn't even want to help himself. Please give me some suggestions. Thank you.