oops. crazy computer
CRA is child requiring assistance. We did it because we don't know what else to do. So, now son has probation officer and a lawyer and we go back to court in 4 weeks. He refusing to see the severity of it. He is still doing exactly what he wants to do. On the day of court, before leaving school to go, he mouthed off to a teacher. We have meeting tomorrow and I think he's being suspended for at least 5 days. Then we went to court, which sucked. Basically, he was told that he has to stop smoking pot and has to follow all rules of school and home. He went out the next day after school. At one point he came home with friend to get his skateboard and while in the house, stole $60 from husbands wallet. Back and forth stupidity all night long and he finally got home, but holed up in his bedroom, all the while denying he took the money. The friend who he was with ratted him out to my other son when asked so we know he took it. The next day, when he was supposed to be taking out the trash, he took off. He called to get a ride later that afternoon from husband (I was at work) and then holed up in his room again. He refused to do anything or even speak to my husband (I was at work) Now here we are on Sunday, and again, he is holed up in his room. Finally got him to wake up at 11:30, but wondering why I even bothered. He is so angry and won't do anything that needs to be done.
We are going to call Probation Officer tomorrow but problem is he just does not care what happens to him. He was told that if he can't get his sh** together, then he could be referred for a group home, residential treatment, foster care. He actually asked about it to probation officer. I don't know what he's thinking. Does he seriously think that if gets outplaced then he can continue to smoke all the pot he wants, see all his friends and can continue failing school? I really think that he does and smoking pot is his priority right now. He doesn't care about anything or anyone else.
Is it an underlying mental problem that would make his mind work this way? He has been struggling with anxiety since he was little. Now we see some depression, ADD, and who-knows what else because we haven't gotten him formally tested (waiting for appointment). I don't know about marijuana addiction. I don't think it's so much a physical addiction, as psychological, but that doesn't make it any easier.
How can we make him see the severity of this? How can we help him? We have him going to going to counselors, which he hates. He is totally determined that nothing will help. Nothing has helped, and nothing in the future will. We keep trying. I think we found a good psychiatrist last week, but we don't see her again for 2 weeks. He sees his regular counselor tomorrow. We keep trying to talk to him. He won't. He really won't talk at all to me. I am bad guy #1. This is all my fault in his eyes. I can take it. I don't like it and I am totally crushed and heartbroken by the whole thing, but I accept it. It's easier to blame me. He refuses to take any responsibility for anything. I can't imagine that deep down he must be concerned about his mental health, about his drug use and the world crumbling around him. I can't imagine he doesn't feel it, but I don't see it. All I see is anger, defiance, disrespect, failing. All I see is the future and how bad it very well might be if we can't get through to him. I can't even see getting through high school, let alone college or holding a job.
How can I help him? He's so young. I want to believe that I can save him.