Care to brainstorm? Kinda like "Where's Waldo To Go" ??

[DDD]

What's the goal? Hypothetically (and wirh fingers crossed etc.) I want to analyze possible cities in Georgia where easy child/difficult child might try to live on his own. Here's the criteria: public transportation, low crime/drug percentages, plentiful low level jobs such as restaurants, young adult population available with healthy fun activities.

Chances are it will be (if he goes) one of the outskirts of Atlanta. He unfortunately knows a number of difficult children who have moved there and it is a mecca for hip hop. So he suggested that "maybe" Macon or Savannah or ??? should be checked out. I've been to those places but I don't "know" them.

Any ideas? Reasonable apartments should be fairly easy to find I think. He's not ready to morph into a Social Register bachelor but may be ready to back off from being a "swagger" young adult who lives the life of a teenager.

SO...where is a good place for our Waldo? DDD

 

[susiestar]

Wish I could help you. If he wants to find difficult child life he can find it no matter where he goes. If he wants to avoid it, finding a church may be a good first step. I don't know what religious choices he has made or is comfortable with but I know the South has a lot of churches of many different kinds, so it shouldn't be hard to find one he "fits". I have only been to Georgia once, and that was just overnight with a childhood friend of my mothers. So I cannot help there. I hope you get some good info and he can stick with healthy choices - they sure are not the "easy" ones!

 

[flutterby]

I definitely wouldn't do Macon. I think Savannah has a pretty heavy party scene. What about Columbus, GA? It won the 2008 100 Best Communities for Young People.

http://www.columbusga.com/

 

[DammitJanet]

I definitely wouldnt go the outskirts of Atlanta. They dont call it Hotlanta for nothing. I will ask Tony when he gets home. He knows more about GA than I do.

 

[DDD]

I hadn't even thought about Columbus. I'll check the site. Thank you, Heather.

By outskirts, lol, I meant Decatur, Marietta, Alpharetta etc. They are close to my easy child. Public transportation has to be available for him as he won't have a car. I would hope that eventually he would opt for a church group but I don't think I can expect too much too fast. Heck....I'm still not sure he'll even go, lol. Thanks guys. DDD

Has Kathy popped in lately? Maybe she would have some ideas as she lives in the Greater Atlanta area. Plus ) I miss
her.

 

[DammitJanet]

I know what you mean by transportation being a must. I so wish we had it here. Maybe Cory wouldnt be in so much trouble. One thing I would suggest if you think he could handle one is getting him a scooter. You dont need a license and they can get where they need to go. Used can be had for pretty cheap and even brand new for the size you want arent really expensive. I just bought Cory a brand new one for 1K. That included a helmet that blinks red at night and a very good locking cable. Used it would have been between 3 and 5 hundred depending on the miles. Cory loves it but wont ride in the cold...lol. However, I see folks riding theirs all the time so some folks dont mind it and are willing to obey the law. Corys just Cory and doesnt give a tinkers damn if he gets another ticket. Not my problem.

Your easy child/difficult child might do like the good ones do and ride it right. You can put a basket on the back to carry groceries and such.

 

[flutterby]

I lived in Marietta. The problem with that area is that everything is so spread out. There is public transportation, but it would be hard to get around without a car. I think you're going to find that problem anywhere immediately around Atlanta, which is why I was thinking Columbus.

 

[DDD]

Janet I think scooters are a great idea but not for easy child/difficult child. An alcoholic with a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) on a scooter??Yikes!
husband (the quiet one of the family) said last night "I was thinking I might give him my Corolla if he goes." He was shocked when I quietly but decidely said "NO WAY!" He needs to learn how to survive on his own. None of our kids were given cars to take to college. They walked or took the bus. They (well, almost all of them) are far more successful than we are as adults. I don't know with his issues how well he can do, or if he can do it, but I want him to try to see himself as an individual dependent on himself...not family and sure as heck not on his "friends family".

Of course we are going to provide support as needed but I'm afraid if he doesn't look in the mirror and experience his own responsibilities soon, he'll continue to have no reason to grow up to the best of his abilities. Sigh. Of course I remind myself each day..he may chicken out. It's scarey leaving home. Some of our kids called home every day when they went to college....one called crying every day for almost a month. Growing up is not easy. Moving forward when you have a past and issues has got to be harder. on the other hand, I am cautiously hopeful. DDD

 

[DammitJanet]

Ohhh...I thought he didnt have or couldnt get a license! I am mistaken I see. Thats right.

Well I was hoping he wouldnt use it when drinking but then...I am thinking logically...lol. See...we have totally different kids. Thats the one thing Cory does have good sense with. While he does drive without a license, he refuses to even get near a car if he has been drinking. Thats the one law he wont break. Go figure. He has his lines. He gets a licensed, designated driver.

I asked Tony, he said Savannah, Columbus, any of the outskirts of Atlanta. He really might like Savannah. Its a quaint town with charm. Also on the coast.

 

[DDD]

Believe it or not, he is now "known" for not driving when has been drinking. He has gone over five years without a ticket for anything...yeah. on the other hand, lol, he has to be driven the day after he's been out to retrieve the truck. That poor old truck of ours spends alot of time in one particular parking lot...waiting to come home whenever we're free to take easy child/difficult child sober to get it!

That is one of the few advantages of a small town that he knows well. Heaven forbid he was driving in a strange town. With his blackouts and short term memory loss there would be no clue where to search.

Way To Go, Cory. Glad he has that downpat. Around here, by the way, they lock up scads of people for driving with-o a license. There is a police blotter in the newspaper (of course!) and that offense shows up multiple times with each biweekly publication.

I love Savannah but I'm hoping he opts for the nice outskirts of Atlanta so easy child will be nearby in case of emergency and/or
when he gets lonely. He's pretty attached to us and used to have a family refuge. DDD

 

[susiestar]

Some states require a license to drive a scooter (often called a moped in the laws). Here is a link to the laws about this in Georgia: http://moped2.org/laws/Georgia.htm ; and in other states: http://moped2.org/mstates.htm (scroll up if the list of states to click on isn't showing - for some reason Illinois keeps showing when I click the link).

You can get 3 wheeled scooter/moped that are a LOT more stable than regular ones. Still not safe if you are drunk or dizzy, of course.

It is wonderful that he will not drive if he has been drinking. So many people still do that even if they say they don't/won't/"would never" do that when they are sober. Going to get him is probably a hassle, but it is likely worth it as long as he does not get demanding or unpleasant when he asks to be taken to get the vehicle he left behind. You have helped him keep the loved ones of many, many people, literally hundreds of them, safe by helping him keep his resolve to not drive while drunk. You ALL deserve thanks and appreciation - I hope you can feel mine!

 

[HaoZi]

Yeah, rule out Savannah, any place you can walk around openly with beer in your cup (opaque cup, like you're really hiding anything!) during Mardi Gras is likely a no-no place for him. While a friend's difficult child sis did manage to get clean there, it took her years and an accident that almost killed her youngest child. She was drinking and had all four kids with her, and the manager decided she had had enough and kicked her out. Did NOT call a cab, did NOT ask police to see to it they got home safely, NOTHING. Booted her out the door in the middle of winter knowing she was drunk and had the four kids and her truck keys.

 

[DDD]

Yeah, Savannah is out.....at least for him, lol. DDD

 

[HaoZi]

I'd suggest Valdosta, but with the base I expect there are also a lot of bars. Thomasville is too close to Tallahassee (college town, TONS of bars).

 

[DammitJanet]

I dont know what it is about this area of NC but they just write him a ticket and he is on his way. I have no idea if its like that all over NC or not...might be because he has been ticketed in other parts of the state. Now SC...oh heck no! Its jail, straight to jail and dont pass go. He never goes down there without a licensed driver. He has been told how many times I had to go pick his father up at the jail when we lived there...lol. (Tony had a huge problem with his license which wasnt totally his fault but partially so he got his license when we moved to NC)