Here's something from me to share with your lad -
When I was very young I worried about the same sort of thing. People kept saying, "it's better to give than to receive," and I felt bad because inside I really LOVED to receive, plus I had no money to buy things with so it never really felt the same. For me, any money I had was from collecting bottles on the side of the road; I was rarely allowed out to do this so it was pure luck more than anything else. That, and tooth fairy money. Not enough to buy presents for everyone in a family of 10. And my few coins were worth far more to me than anything I could buy with them for someone else, so I always felt very guilty about this. I also had to use what coins I had to buy things like film for my camera, and pay for processing. It was only b/w film and a very cheap 'kiddie' camera (before the 'Instamatic' days).
But along the way I was learning good things without even realising it. Christmas Day was always fun - not just opening the presents, which I always enjoyed because first, I was getting presents; second, I loved watching other people have fun, and third, we had a room full of people all getting high on good company. But also lunch afterwards, all the lovely food which we managed to finish; the relatives who would visit later on or the next day (more party, more play with cousins) and the beach - the fringe benefit of a summer Christmas. We would go to the beach either Christmas afternoon or Boxing Day (next day) and spend the entire day there, pre-sunscreen. It all linked together, Christmas after Christmas, to build memories.
The best connector, the one where I learnt the most - the night before. Our church would borrow the local builder's truck and we would all pile on it (with a large iron-frame piano strapped to the back of the truck cabin) and drive around the community, singing Christmas carols. They probably had a list of people who needed cheering up or who were lonely, but we would sing our best (and we were good - full harmonies, three and four parts). I started singing harmony when I was 8. Sometimes people would come out on the porch to listen, other times there would be a twitch of a curtain and maybe a shyly raised hand as we drove away afterwards. it didn't matter - we knew we'd been heard. We NEVER got fed (too many of us) but there was something combining the joy we brought mixed with the anticipation of the next day's greed, that slowly morphed into an overall delight at just enjoying Christmas again for what we could do to make other people happy.
It happens. The more you do as a child just to celebrate Christmas apart from gifts, the more you will remember the spirit of Christmas fondly as an adult.
What I have now I'm an adult - I have my wonderful memories of gifts past, of Christmas fun past, but also those wonderful memories of the warm summer nights singing carols on the back of a truck to people we never saw. For me the feel of a summer night with the heat wrapping around you like a blanket and the sound of cicadas pulsing a rhythm you can sing to - that is Christmas. The adult in me knows what it feels like to have your heart touched. The child i was remembers the singing and the anticipation. Together, I think Christmas is even better for me.
So there you go, Virginia.
Enjoy.
Marg