Christmas Is Over And difficult child Seems To Be A Little Better

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, Dec 27, 2012.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Yesterday was the first day in nearly a week and a half that we did not have a meltdown or tantrum of some type. Honestly, I think it's because Christmas is over, he knows what he got for his gifts, and the visiting with family is pretty much done.

    Since difficult child was about 3 I have done some type of gingerbread projectg with him. When he was little and it was just him we would do a house. Nothing fancy. One of those store bought kits that has everything already in it and we would spend some time putting it together. When easy child got old enough to want to participate, too, doing one house became a problem because they wanted to decorate it differently and difficult child would get angry with easy child over it, so I started buying kits with smaller, individual things. Gingerbread men is one we've done alot. Last year I found a gingerbread village that came with 5 houses (2 for difficult child, 2 for easy child, and one for me so there was no fighting over the odd one) and I bought little gingerbread trees that went with it. That worked well. This year I bought gingerbread Santa sleighs. I thought they were different. We never put them together before Christmas, so we decided to do it this morning.

    difficult child HATED it! He had trouble putting it together. He couldn't get the sleigh to stay together. I asked if he wanted me to help him, but he wanted to do it by himself. Finally he said to me, in a very nice voice, "Mom, this isn't working for me. Can I just make what I want out of it?" Sure! Have fun! This is actually a big deal for me because there was a time when I would have said, "No. It's supposed to be a sleigh. You have to make the sleigh." He made a ship with a battering ram.

    When he was done he said, "Mom, can get the gingerbread men next year? I REALLY didn't like these ones." Nicely, quietly, politely.

    I will have to remember for next year: Men; not sleighs!
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    You did great! Glad difficult child is calming down.
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    That is so awesome. He's learning to communicate and yea, you listened.....I mean REALLY LISTENED. You didn't just hear his words, you heard his actions too. Yes, he said it all nicely but in your accounting of the situation, you "heard" his whole situation. That is what is key for me in dealing with difficult child 1. I have to not only hear his words, I have to read his emotions, body language, and sometimes what he's NOT saying.

    I think you BOTH did a wonderful job!!!
  4. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Missy has so much anxiety around the holidays. Starts right after t-giving and continues until Christmas eve. Add in a vacation and several choral concerts and we had the worst season in years. There were days where I literally wanted to take everything I bought her back to the store. We will never do a vacation again around the holidays.

    We usually don't decorate until about a week before and it's not even half of what I used to do. We don't do Christmas music or chat about Christmas, like you would normally do with kids to get the excited about Christmas. It helps to keep her calmer. This year, there was just too much going on. I can totally relate to you.
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Unfortunately, it did not last very long. We had one good day and then we were right back in the middle of it. I called the psychiatrist, who suggested we wait until the end of January to either increase the Rsiperdol again or add the Intuniv to help control his aggression, and told him that he needed to rethink that plan. I got a medication increase.

    We'll see how long this lasts.
  6. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Sorry Bunny! I was hoping someone around here would get some respite. LOL Seems like we are living on an emotional rollercoaster right now.
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Glad you got psychiatrist to listen! Better now so you can monitor at home a little.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    :onesmiley1::bravo::bravo:WOW!!!! Congratulations to both of you! That is what we all hope to achieve--kids who won't have a meltdown when things are too frustrating, and parents who agree to let the kids "change the rules" a little bit.
    That is awesome. I know that word is over-used, but I'll say it again, AWESOME.
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh darn, just read the follow-up note.
    Still, now you know it can be done. If you're like me, you'll hold onto that light at the end of the tunnel.
  10. IT1967

    IT1967 Member

    I so get what you're feeling. Whatever event it is, I'm a complete nervous wreck when we're with-other people - worrying about when the next meltdown is going to happen, praying to make it through. We had a hideous experience at the ballet right after T'giving. I cancelled any other holiday celebrations. Wanted to do a fancy Tea at a hotel. No way. My kids obviously can't handle it and neither can I.