Thank you so much. What a sweet thing to do. We're from Ohio. This morning things are easier, just not sure where to go from here. I know there's a ton of stuff I need to do, it's just one of those....where the heck do I start???? LOL I made a few phone calls this morning & I'm staying in the house. My DS13, REALLY doesn't like change at all! Stress is his seizure trigger and I don't want to set him over edge. Right now his seizures are 'sort of' under control. He has another EEG next week. At least he'll keep his health insurance even after a divorce. So, I'm not too panicked about medical bills...yet... We have Blue Cross and sometimes they refuse to pay for a specific doctor, even if the hospital is covered etc....it's basically a bunch of red tape bs! But for the most part, the medication bills are manageable. It's all the other stuff. I've NEVER done any of the paperwork. I don't even know how. I've never had access. Money was strictly managed by husband, so now I'm panicking a little bit. Basically I'd get 200$ a week for groceries and gas. Other than that, no bank account etc...So basically, I barely exist on paper, how the heck do I fix that????? Who in their right mind at 37 has nothing in their names? No credit cards, just husband's...How do I fix that? And how do I pay a lawyer? I'm not oblivious to what's been going on for the past 16 years...I wasn't blind or battered, just drawn into a world of complete control. I'm not taking the blame or placing it anywhere...it's just that life happened...children and chaos & somewhere along the way, the lines got blurred and I couldn't see past the nose on my face. Then sometime this year, everything came to a head. It was like suddenly I was looking into the past, present and future all at once and I didn't like what I saw. I was too caught up in dealing with the constant obsessions and compulsions to realize that I had become one of them, something else to control. Finally, on December 14th, my 8 yr olds birthday, we had a defining moment. 20 kids were killed in Connecticut. My 13 yr old, who can't articulate his emotions, had a complete breakdown. The façade came crashing down and I called the Special Education director at my son's school. She actually took the time to come to our home and gave me a referral for family therapy. First time in 16 years it was like this load was just lifted, I wasn't alone anymore. We had multiple phone calls and meetings with doctors, therapists, psychologists.....even a fabulous peds doctor who gave my son a prescription for LEGOs
And all of this finally broke the camels back. husband became keenly aware that his obsessions played a huge roll in the breakdown of our family. I KNOW he knows that. Which is why he walked away. I wish I had known, that if it was help I needed...all I had to do was ask. I find it extremely profound, that a tragedy hundreds of miles away, set the gears in motion. My son simply couldn't handle what he saw on the tv screen while my 8 yr old blew out his candles... And I didn't know as hurried to flick the tv off, that he'd been so quickly effected. I hadn't even noticed, then my son starting repeating the body count over and over and over. He screamed when I tried to send his little brother to school. His little brother is his best friend. He thought he would die too, I simply couldn't get him to understand that his lil brother would be ok. He'd taken it sooooo literally. That's when I just KNEW something about my son was off. I'd been in denial for years, just conforming to him, just as I did husband. But that moment, that day, defined everything. He was trying to hold DS8 in the house and wouldn't let go. He was absolutely convinced that DS8 would leave for school and never come home. He had so much conviction in his eyes. And that day I made the call for help. husband was angry, he said home is home and nobodies business. But I was overwhelmed and clearly needed assistance. And the therapist, neurologist, peds doctor & neuropsychologist were able to tell almost instantly that he was Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). As I listened to their questions and DS's responses, I felt like a fool...how did I not notice how literal his answers were...It blew my mind. But I'd never thought to ask the questions they did. Nobody did. We just assumed the odd behaviors were from the Epilepsy...made sense at the time. I'm not thrilled about the diagnosis, but it explains a lot. Hopefully, it can only get better from this point on.