Clearing the air....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Jul 24, 2008.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Ever since the tweedles visit together at Christmas, wm's therapist has "refused" to communicate with husband, myself, foster mum & dad. Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker transports wm to & from his therapist appts & sits in so he can "teach" wm what he's learned in treatment to the community.

    She cut us off at the knees - kt was looking forward to talking to a woman & the plan to see wm at the very least every other month as therapist had promised. kt is doing her work at this end - wm is not.

    Foster mum & I are at our wit's end. We cannot get any information from Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker or therapist. I know, that at this time, every HIPPA that therapist has on file have expired so she shouldn't be communicating with anyone but myself, husband or mental health case manager. AND I'm angry.

    I've have tried via phone, email, messages to get therapist to get in touch with me; update me on treatment. Heck, even to let me know when wm's appts are so husband or I can attend. That has been our intent all along. It has been something that had been a regular part of our scheduling each month. Again, no communication.

    I'm looking for a different therapist for wm because I need updates & treatment plans on a regular basis & feel that she's failing in that department. The fact whatever wm is working on isn't making it in the community isn't making me feel any more "warmth" toward this lady.

    I believe therapist is finally "getting it" because Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker called to invite me to wm's appointment this coming Friday. I let Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker know that I didn't want wm at that appointment ~ my call, I'm the parent ~ that the air needed to be cleared. He could feel free to attend or not but if he intended to continue to be part of the team he may want to show up.

    In the meantime, I've lined up our CADI manager & mental health case manager to attend the appointment. Now therapist is trying to back out.....mental health case manager wants some communication guidelines written & he expects them to be followed. He's beyond ticked because he couldn't get an updated report on wm, along with a continuing treatment plan to take to court last month. Mental health CM had to guess & answer questions the judge asked because of her lack of communication. It put him in a very bad place. This man has worked his behind off for our family & I'm livid for him.

    The appointment is this coming Friday - I'm attending even if I have to take a taxi (might be a good idea anyway). In the meantime, I'm getting names & numbers of different tdocs. (I was urged not to change tdocs because wm has a connection to this therapist; my reply was that wm has a connection/attachment to everyone but husband & myself. For goodness sake, he's a kid with severe attachment disorder (disinhibited type) - a man on the street is his best friend or his dad.

    Okay, got that out of my system - it's been a long time coming. If you hear a loud explosion around 11 a.m. central time from the upper midwest/great lakes area you know that my brain has finally blown.
     
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Linda,

    I am so very sorry. WHAT do these people think when they decide to cut the adults in a very ill child's life OUT of his care????? I have been there done that before - wonder what story wm is spinning that the therapist is buying? Is the "poor little wm - his parents only wanted his sister" or some other version of "poor little wm" or is it just that she is incompetent? It may be that she knows she has screwed things up badly and doesn't want to face the music. If so, is she REALLY someone who should be counselling impressionalbe young people who are learning about responsibility?

    I hope your head does not explode - make HER head explode instead! I am glad the Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker clued you in to when the session is.

    Sending hugs,

    Susie
     
  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda,

    I'll be listening for the explosion that I hope never comes.

    Sounds like you have some backup with the therapist's intent to keep you out of the loop. I would imagine the therapist realizes he/she may loose this patient. I agree with Susie - how can a therapist teach a child to begin to be responsible when they are not responsible themselves?

    Difuse, difuse, difuse.

    Sharon
     
  4. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Wow, Linda.

    I'm not so far from you. Thanks for the warning, I'll put my earplugs in. Meantime, I'll be rooting you on all the way.

    I do read every one of your posts, but I often feel like I don't even know what to say. I could not imagine having the workload that you do, and being as ill as you are on top of it. You are truly my hero.
     
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda,
    I don't blame you one bit for being angry (I do wish I could be a fly on the wall at that meeting). Will be cheering you on from here.
     
  6. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I've seen some idiot tdocs in my time but this takes the cake. You mentioned that the release forms are expired and she's still talking to others that she shouldn't be. To me, this would be an opportunity to copy your documentation and make a formal complaint to whatever board governs her field. If she's doing this with one patient, chances are he's not the first or only one. And if that's the case, this is definately not someone that should be working in the field, let alone with kids/people who have issues as serious as wm.

    I will, however, be verrrry interested to see how your appointment. with her goes.

    Good luck!
     
  7. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That's insane Linda. You are still the parent and I assume have the final say.

    That being said a light bulb just went off in my head....everyone on the street was my difficult child's best friend or parent growing up. She would crawl up in some stranger's lap and be perfectly happy yet would ignore us like we didn't exist.

    Nancy
     
  8. Good luck with the appointment. I certainly hope your head doesn't explode!

    Give 'em h*ll. :warrior:

    Christy
     
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hope your head stays together while you wave your Warrior Mom sword at them!
     
  10. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    If my windows rattle, I'll know what's going on. lol

    I'd have smoke coming out my ears also.

    Let us know how it goes.
     
  11. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I don't recall wm making a whole lot of progress in the last 6 months. It sounds like she's failing him and your family. I hope one of the new therapist work out. I'm not sure that I would have had the patience to stick with her as long as you have. Good luck tomorrow.
     
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Aaarggggh!!! How incredibly frustrationg.
    I like the idea that you have a backup plan.
    This whole thing is crazy. I am so sorry.
     
  13. Christy

    Christy New Member

    I hope you get a chance to set this straight! How frustrating! Good luck with the meeting.

    Christy
     
  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Good luck. DDD
     
  15. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Linda, just checking in...how did the meeting go?

    I didn't hear the big head-explosion, so I'm hoping that means good news or at least progress in the right direction.

    Sending positive thoughts your way.

    Trinity
     
  16. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Finally, an update to last week's appointment.

    therapist was appropriately apologetic with her lack of communication. There were the usual lame excuses which I blew off.

    therapist & wm's in home therapist were in attendance. I was finally given an update on wm's progress in therapy (little seen outside of that office, though school/day treatment is beginning to see wm make progress & good choices).

    In home therapist offered a few comments but for the most part stayed in the background while attachment therapist & I worked out the "treatment" plan that will be going forward.

    It's expected that husband, myself, foster mum & dad will be the last to see wm's "progress". Go figure. Most of what has been worked on has been wm's sexualized behaviors toward kt & myself. Having me or husband in attendance during this therapy will likely make matters worse. It will be the appts where wm will practice newly learned skills that husband or I will attend.

    Okay, the clearing of the air was all gibberish.... :crazy2::itching: It was deja vu & a bad dream all at the same time. Nothing new or exciting; nothing I didn't know.

    I let the tdocs know what I expect....a monthly update period. If it's an appointment where husband or I are expected to attend we need at least 2 weeks notice (both tdocs know our schedule here & the reasons behind it). There will be no excuses for lack of communication, lack of progress reports. Foster mum & dad, husband & myself will do our part at this end.

    For such a innocuous looking kid, wm is one powerful difficult child - he pulls in professionals, parents, foster parents, etc & has us all running. :bloodshot::stopglass::talkhand:
     
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