SRL
Active Member
One of our annual traditions here at Conduct Disorders is to have a non-celebratory Mother's Day thread. If you are one of those Mother's Day fans whose kids make your day special with breakfast in bed, handmade cards, thoughtful gifts and/or a peaceful day of pampering, you just skedaddle along and make your own happy thread. This thread is for moms who aren't finding much to celebrate this year.
If you're a mom whose life is in chaos or has been severely changed because of a difficult child or teen, this thread is for you. If you're hurting, or you are disappointed because your parenting experience is nothing like the one you thought you signed up for, this thread is for you. Perhaps your child is in a hospital or residential treatment center, or living with the other parent. Maybe you are living with unbearable pain from depression...or accumulated daily experiences...or from a child who has done something unthinkable...or your child is missing...or in jail. This thread is for you. Maybe you're just stepping into this world of difficult children and you're scared and feeling alone.
Maybe you're waiting for a phone call or a card in the mail this weekend, and it never comes.
Whatever it is that is making your Mother's Day less than what you hoped for, this thread is for you. (And I mean it about you Kodak moment happy moms, don't even THINK about posting about that breakfast in bed here!)
I am predicting that my Mother's Day will begin with a 4am wakeup call. This will most certainly not be from beaming children armed with a freshly cooked hot breakfast. This will be from my cat, who will want his breakfast and be let outside. If he's feeling really generous, he might drag up a freshly killed dirty sock from the laundry room to present to me. We'll go to church and somewhere along the way I'm usually given a card or two and maybe a gift. Someone will ask "What would you like to do today, Mom?" The family will gather together for a meal and more cards and gifts will be exchanged and we'll come home.
I know it sounds idyllic, but don't reach for your hankies just yet because mixed in there is sure to be a stack of dirty dishes no one else notices, bickering teens, loud electric guitar music from the basement, resentment on my part because I married into a family whose idea of a great Mother's Day celebration centers on having the moms do the cooking and I won't have any say in what I get to do today. (Honestly, whose stupid idea is it for the moms to cook and clean up on Mother's Day??!! If you're thinking about getting married, seriously check on this first because it should be a deal breaker.) And I'll be sure to get dished up a heaping dose of scowls and ignoring from a certain person whose initials begin with g. Most of the time I do a good job of detaching, but lately it really, really hurts. Oh, and if we're gone long enough, my cat will miss me up and litter my living room with more freshly killed socks.
I realize this is nothing compared to what some of you are living through. You're not alone. We're here and we're listening.
P.S. And I really, really mean it about you moms who are contemplating about bragging about your kids who took you to lunch and bought you $6 Hallmark cards! Move along...)
If you're a mom whose life is in chaos or has been severely changed because of a difficult child or teen, this thread is for you. If you're hurting, or you are disappointed because your parenting experience is nothing like the one you thought you signed up for, this thread is for you. Perhaps your child is in a hospital or residential treatment center, or living with the other parent. Maybe you are living with unbearable pain from depression...or accumulated daily experiences...or from a child who has done something unthinkable...or your child is missing...or in jail. This thread is for you. Maybe you're just stepping into this world of difficult children and you're scared and feeling alone.
Maybe you're waiting for a phone call or a card in the mail this weekend, and it never comes.
Whatever it is that is making your Mother's Day less than what you hoped for, this thread is for you. (And I mean it about you Kodak moment happy moms, don't even THINK about posting about that breakfast in bed here!)
I am predicting that my Mother's Day will begin with a 4am wakeup call. This will most certainly not be from beaming children armed with a freshly cooked hot breakfast. This will be from my cat, who will want his breakfast and be let outside. If he's feeling really generous, he might drag up a freshly killed dirty sock from the laundry room to present to me. We'll go to church and somewhere along the way I'm usually given a card or two and maybe a gift. Someone will ask "What would you like to do today, Mom?" The family will gather together for a meal and more cards and gifts will be exchanged and we'll come home.
I know it sounds idyllic, but don't reach for your hankies just yet because mixed in there is sure to be a stack of dirty dishes no one else notices, bickering teens, loud electric guitar music from the basement, resentment on my part because I married into a family whose idea of a great Mother's Day celebration centers on having the moms do the cooking and I won't have any say in what I get to do today. (Honestly, whose stupid idea is it for the moms to cook and clean up on Mother's Day??!! If you're thinking about getting married, seriously check on this first because it should be a deal breaker.) And I'll be sure to get dished up a heaping dose of scowls and ignoring from a certain person whose initials begin with g. Most of the time I do a good job of detaching, but lately it really, really hurts. Oh, and if we're gone long enough, my cat will miss me up and litter my living room with more freshly killed socks.
I realize this is nothing compared to what some of you are living through. You're not alone. We're here and we're listening.
P.S. And I really, really mean it about you moms who are contemplating about bragging about your kids who took you to lunch and bought you $6 Hallmark cards! Move along...)
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