Hi to everyone! I have been online for months now trying to find out what is wrong with me and my daughter, I only found your site tonight. Having read some of the posts I can see that I have found the right place and I am hoping that someone can give me some kind of answers to my questions. So here goes! My daughter is 15 yrs old, when she was 9 I found out she had been sexually abused by her 14 yr old cousin over a 2 yr period (approx 5 times) I took her for therapy but she wouldn't respond, she refused point blank to talk about it to anyone.
Around this time she started to lie about everything, exagerated everything. I called her on every lie and her response was that her dad lied to her all the time, so what was the difference. (her dad is not involved in her life, his decision, and has repeatedly lied to her whenever he decides to pop into her life once a year or so) She is extremely bright but can be lazy. So I had the usual problems with her in elementary. I had to push her to do homework, would lie and tell me she had none etc. I thought these things were normal (except for the lying) until she went to middle school. Then all hell broke loose. While she always respected her teachers and got "A"s for conduct she had problems with other kids. She said they bullied her. One of these kids lived in my building and I had the police at my door for several trivial things. It never stopped. In the end I moved. I rented a house and paid a mortgage at the same time. She went to a new school and within a month I had the same problems. Before the end of that year she was in the Hospital Homebound Program as she had problems that still have not been diagnosed yet. (facial eydema, pain in joints, fatique and headaches) she remained in that program for the rest of middle school. Tried therapy again and again. She just told the therapists what they wanted to hear each time. She became a master manipulater, or she always was one and I never realized it. She started High School and within ONE week all her symptoms got became severe. Now she is in the Virtual High School. We fight everyday about doing school work, it's a constant battle. Her Dr. put her on Prozac for anxiety. I caught her drinking in January and grounded her. In March she tried to commit suicide. She dated a boy of 18 (I didn't know) and he dumped her after he had sex with her. In April she was caught shoplifting. In May she put makeup on her eye, bit her bottom lip and took photos, sent them to her dad and tried to have me arrested, saying I beat her up. Then she ran away, the police found her the next day. Now she is home and I quit work 'cos I can't leave her on her own. She won't do her school work. Says she wants to do her GED and join the army. When she talks to people, they think she is a darling child, very bright and articulate (which she is) But this other side of her I can't explain, it's almost like she is a different person. She has told some of her friends that she has breast cancer, ovarian cancer. I found a letter she wrote wishing she had cancer and that she would survive it. I found 10 books in her room all about sex "How to..." everything you could imagine about sex. And the thing is, she had to have stolen them too.
These things sound a lot more than just anxiety to me, but I am not a Dr. She has been hospitalized twice and still no diagnoses. The last time they looked at me as if I was the problem and told me to take her home that they don't have a "pill for lying"
I am very afraid for my daughter and her future. I have to do something for her fast, before something else happens. But I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any ideas about her behaviour? I have read up on a lot of the "DISORDERS" and she seems to fall into BiPolar (BP) and Borderline (BPD) but doesn't seem to have all the traits of either.
Also, even without a diagnose, does anyone recommend a therapeutic school of any kind?
I am sorry for going on and on....but you what, just writing this down seems to have helped me! Thank you for listening!
Around this time she started to lie about everything, exagerated everything. I called her on every lie and her response was that her dad lied to her all the time, so what was the difference. (her dad is not involved in her life, his decision, and has repeatedly lied to her whenever he decides to pop into her life once a year or so) She is extremely bright but can be lazy. So I had the usual problems with her in elementary. I had to push her to do homework, would lie and tell me she had none etc. I thought these things were normal (except for the lying) until she went to middle school. Then all hell broke loose. While she always respected her teachers and got "A"s for conduct she had problems with other kids. She said they bullied her. One of these kids lived in my building and I had the police at my door for several trivial things. It never stopped. In the end I moved. I rented a house and paid a mortgage at the same time. She went to a new school and within a month I had the same problems. Before the end of that year she was in the Hospital Homebound Program as she had problems that still have not been diagnosed yet. (facial eydema, pain in joints, fatique and headaches) she remained in that program for the rest of middle school. Tried therapy again and again. She just told the therapists what they wanted to hear each time. She became a master manipulater, or she always was one and I never realized it. She started High School and within ONE week all her symptoms got became severe. Now she is in the Virtual High School. We fight everyday about doing school work, it's a constant battle. Her Dr. put her on Prozac for anxiety. I caught her drinking in January and grounded her. In March she tried to commit suicide. She dated a boy of 18 (I didn't know) and he dumped her after he had sex with her. In April she was caught shoplifting. In May she put makeup on her eye, bit her bottom lip and took photos, sent them to her dad and tried to have me arrested, saying I beat her up. Then she ran away, the police found her the next day. Now she is home and I quit work 'cos I can't leave her on her own. She won't do her school work. Says she wants to do her GED and join the army. When she talks to people, they think she is a darling child, very bright and articulate (which she is) But this other side of her I can't explain, it's almost like she is a different person. She has told some of her friends that she has breast cancer, ovarian cancer. I found a letter she wrote wishing she had cancer and that she would survive it. I found 10 books in her room all about sex "How to..." everything you could imagine about sex. And the thing is, she had to have stolen them too.
These things sound a lot more than just anxiety to me, but I am not a Dr. She has been hospitalized twice and still no diagnoses. The last time they looked at me as if I was the problem and told me to take her home that they don't have a "pill for lying"
I am very afraid for my daughter and her future. I have to do something for her fast, before something else happens. But I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any ideas about her behaviour? I have read up on a lot of the "DISORDERS" and she seems to fall into BiPolar (BP) and Borderline (BPD) but doesn't seem to have all the traits of either.
Also, even without a diagnose, does anyone recommend a therapeutic school of any kind?
I am sorry for going on and on....but you what, just writing this down seems to have helped me! Thank you for listening!