toughlovin
Well-Known Member
Well my difficult child keeps making me angry which helps me in this detachment process!! I felt bad for him when we got home Sunday night.... and so I decided to run over to the jail and put in $20 in his canteen account. I had mixed feelings about this but felt ok about it really. It was less than he wanted but hey I felt like I had moved from giving him nothing to giving him something.
The other thing he had asked us to do was to contact the girlfriend (where when she is involved he goes down hill) and let her know what visiting hours are. Now he has refused to talk about her and if they are back involved for a while. I suspected she was back in the picture when I felt he was going down hill. So I had said no but my husband had said he would text her..... but then as he and I talked about it he realized he doesnt want to do anything to encourage the relationship. Honestly I think we should just stay out of that piece all together!!
So last night difficult child calls me. First he is putting pressure to put more money in the canteen weekly especially if he is going to be there for a while waiting for a bed. I said I didnt want every phone call to be about that and I wasnt doing it period. Appreciate what you did get from me!!! So then he asks if we have contacted the girlfriend. I said no and we started talking about that, I told him we are going to just stay out of it, I am not getting into the middle of that. If the girlfriend called me I would talk to her and be polite but I am not contacting her. Does she know he is in jail. Yes because he was texting her while he was in drug court!!! So ok then she can call the jail and find out visiting hour sand she can write him. He does not need me to contact her and tell her to visit him. So this goes on for a couple of minutes.
Then he tells me she is pregnant, and yes by him. Sounds like it was planned. Are you kidding me? I stayed calm and really I suspect he is lying to me trying to manipulate me into now contacting her as she might be carrying my grandbaby!! So I just said well that was not good planning and that is going to complicate your life! I also said I hope that gives you the motivation to get your life together! So he says to me something about so can you please contact her? I said no, she knows you are in jail and she can write your or come and visit and if she does not then you kind of know where you stand with her, that will be a message! Well that made me mad and he told me to F off. So we hung up.
I didnt know whether to laugh or cry it was so ridiculous!! He called back a couple of times and I just didnt answer the phone.
Honestly his manipulation was so transparent......
He has drug court tomorrow although nothing is going to change. I was thinking of going just to support him but I think I am not going to go. I told him I wasnt sure I could and at this point I think I am going to skip it.
I am really trying to think and focus on taking care of myself. I hate having a son in jail but right now I think it is the best place for him!! And I am very thankful for drug court because it is kind of out of my hands and that is a good thing.
TL
Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
The other thing he had asked us to do was to contact the girlfriend (where when she is involved he goes down hill) and let her know what visiting hours are. Now he has refused to talk about her and if they are back involved for a while. I suspected she was back in the picture when I felt he was going down hill. So I had said no but my husband had said he would text her..... but then as he and I talked about it he realized he doesnt want to do anything to encourage the relationship. Honestly I think we should just stay out of that piece all together!!
So last night difficult child calls me. First he is putting pressure to put more money in the canteen weekly especially if he is going to be there for a while waiting for a bed. I said I didnt want every phone call to be about that and I wasnt doing it period. Appreciate what you did get from me!!! So then he asks if we have contacted the girlfriend. I said no and we started talking about that, I told him we are going to just stay out of it, I am not getting into the middle of that. If the girlfriend called me I would talk to her and be polite but I am not contacting her. Does she know he is in jail. Yes because he was texting her while he was in drug court!!! So ok then she can call the jail and find out visiting hour sand she can write him. He does not need me to contact her and tell her to visit him. So this goes on for a couple of minutes.
Then he tells me she is pregnant, and yes by him. Sounds like it was planned. Are you kidding me? I stayed calm and really I suspect he is lying to me trying to manipulate me into now contacting her as she might be carrying my grandbaby!! So I just said well that was not good planning and that is going to complicate your life! I also said I hope that gives you the motivation to get your life together! So he says to me something about so can you please contact her? I said no, she knows you are in jail and she can write your or come and visit and if she does not then you kind of know where you stand with her, that will be a message! Well that made me mad and he told me to F off. So we hung up.
I didnt know whether to laugh or cry it was so ridiculous!! He called back a couple of times and I just didnt answer the phone.
Honestly his manipulation was so transparent......
He has drug court tomorrow although nothing is going to change. I was thinking of going just to support him but I think I am not going to go. I told him I wasnt sure I could and at this point I think I am going to skip it.
I am really trying to think and focus on taking care of myself. I hate having a son in jail but right now I think it is the best place for him!! And I am very thankful for drug court because it is kind of out of my hands and that is a good thing.
TL
Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app