Well I showed up at the meeting today, without much moral support. As luck would have it, my husband was diagnosed with strep and a double ear infection today so he didn't come with me. My in-laws who difficult child stayed with this weekend were there. When I showed up, difficult child was already there and would not look at me. I was sure this was because he was still blaming me and his dad for the situation, not ready to accept any help or responsibility, etc...First DFS said their part which is basically if difficult child gets out of control or breaks any of our rules we are not to fight with him, argue with him, etc.. We are to call the police and have him removed. If we don't do that we can have an open DFS case (which I cannot afford since I work at an elementary school currently, and have been working my rear off for many years to get my teaching degree and I will graduate in December). DFS is requiring family counseling. Then JO went. JO is requiring an outpatient treatment program that he will start next week. He will go 2 nights a week. Additionally, he will be under JO supervision, not probation or anything like that since he didn't technically break any laws. Here is the surprising part, when we were discussing rehab, difficult child asked if he could go to inpatient. Then he said "I know this is all me. Everything that is happening is because of me. I need help". After we discussed it more, we decided outpatient is a better fit for him. Anyway, then after the meeting I was ready for a night of pure tension waiting for him to open up to me or at least apologize. As we were leaving, we were the only 2 left in the office and he just said "Sorry", then he reached out for a hug. I hugged him and he fell completely apart in my arms. I have never seen him so torn apart in his life. He came home and did the same thing with his dad. I hope this means he is ready to move on from this. He came completely clean about ALL of his drug use, and it was much worse than we ever could have imagined. But he said "I want to tell you about this so you know how bad it is. I want to be honest about this from here on out." He told us that (as a fellow poster here mentioned) this started with the pills from his knee surgery. Then the pills weren't enough, so he was crushing them and snorting them. Soon enough that wasn't enough and, well, like I said, it was much worse than we ever imagined. This weekend has been terrible. I was not excited about having DFS or JO involved. I am afraid I will never have the great relationship back with my son that I had 6 months ago. But if it took all of this to get him clean and on track, I'll take it in stride.