difficult child 1 was playing at the home of a family with 6 kids (5 boys). He's been there most every day for the last week and their parents "adore" him...."he's such a good kid when he's here"...."he's so helpful".... "has such good manners".....yada yada yada Tonight, difficult child 2 was out walking with an on-again off-again friend of both my kids'. They walked past where difficult child 1 was playing. One of the boys called difficult child 2 and friend over. Friend started playing with them (dodgeball on the trampoline...hmmmm). They apparently have a rule that if someone is talking to someone else (not paying attention to the game), they cannot be hit. difficult child 1 was talking to one of the boys when Friend threw the ball at him....hard....and jammed his thumb. difficult child 1 apparently (according to difficult child 2) went off on Friend, throwing water at him when Friend made a comment like "quit being such a weenie, it's not like you're dying", yelling all kinds of extreme comments like "you're such a jerk you don't deserve to live" and "why don't you just go somewhere and die", "I just want to kill you" (Friend started laughing at difficult child 1), etc. difficult child 2 said he was REALLY glad there were no adults around to hear him because difficult child 1 was scaring him. difficult child 1 came home right after and got even more upset because he'd asked difficult child 2 why HE was leaving too and difficult child 2 REFUSED to answer him. Now, I know Friend "broke the rule" AND Friend "called me a name" AND Friend "doesn't care about anyone but himself"... BUT I need to somehow teach difficult child 1 that inconsiderate or not, you don't say things like that to people. He doesn't yet identify his own feelings and grasps at phrases he's heard others use when they're angry (on TV, other kids/adults, etc). I know he'd never do anything but I really worry about other's taking him seriously and I'm even more worried that I can't teach this unless I'm there when it happens. Social stories do NOT work with him. He knows the right answers but does not generalize AT ALL. I just feel so lost sometimes. I've thought about some sort of consequence when he's said these extreme things when he's upset but outside of grounding there isn't much that means anything to him. Then again, if he sets his mind on leaving, I can't stop him because he's too darn quick for me and I will NOT call the police for help again. Not ever going to make that mistake again. He knows he's done/said wrong after he calms down so I just don't know what to do to get him to think before or during a meltdown.