When I picked up difficult child 2 yesterday, he informed me that he got in trouble for ripping a classmate's jacket. Apparently difficult child 2 was chewing gum at recess (a no-no) and the classmate said he was going to tell on difficult child 2, so difficult child 2 grabbed the hood of the boy's jacket and it ripped. Then, when the boy was relaying the gum and jacket info to the teacher, he also said the difficult child 2 hit him in the head with a dodgeball. difficult child 2 said that the ball incident happened a while ago. The teacher told difficult child 2 he would be talking to the vice principal about the issue. So we'll see if he gets a citation for it or not. difficult child 2 was trying to shift the blame over to the other kid, who is very annoying to him (and I suspect he's an undx'd Aspie... very poor eye contact, flat affect, singular and obsessive interests, socially awkward, doesn't play by the rules, very bright). But I wouldn't let him. And I pointed out that difficult child 2 is often very annoying to others as well (kettle calling the pot black). I spent several minutes trying to get difficult child 2 to understand how he made the other boy feel and acknowledge that what he did was wrong, despite his negative feelings about the boy. He can be really rigid sometimes in his thinking. Eventually he conceded, but was getting upset. It's like he was wanting to avoid having to feel guilty for his behavior because it was too painful/uncomfortable. I didn't yell, and remained calm but firm -- he said he didn't want me to yell at him (that could also be why he didn't want to accept responsibility). When we got home, I made him call the boy to apologize and to offer to have the jacket repaired. After rehearsing what to say about a 1/2 dozen times, he made the call and left a message on their machine. The dad called back while I was gone at the sleep study last night. He asked for ME to call back (I don't really know them) and that feels weird. Why don't they ever ask the DAD to call back? Anyway, I'll be phoning them back later this morning. Sigh. Not going to be a fun weekend.