difficult child eats at rest. where easy child works....

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hearthope, Jun 11, 2007.

  1. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    easy child works at exclusive rest. on the lake.

    difficult child,difficult child buddy and two girls had dinner there last night. easy child said he looked great. Recent haircut,new clothes and shoes. She said he was really nice to her and seemed geniuely interested in what had been going on since she last talked to him.

    He is now living with yet another difficult child buddy in another town.

    On my going list this will be the last of the great difficult child buddies he has to live with.

    I have very mixed feelings. I was glad to hear he looked well and thankful to know he was okay.
    Then I felt like he is still so far from hitting bottom and seeing what he is doing with his life.

    I am sure he will find others to help him. But, this is the last of the "old" difficult child friends he has. He did tell easy child he no longer talks to the other buddies that he had lived with.

    in my opinion he takes as much as he can from the situation and when people get tired of his antics he just moves on to the next place.

    I just keep the hope that it will catch up to him soon.
  2. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style='font-size: 11pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #006600"> it will catch up with-him. it's just a question of when & how. your job right now is to keep working the detachment angle. it's really your only option at this point.

    </span> </span> </span>
  3. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I'm glad he's well and that you have that reassurance. Rob made the rounds with his friends and then found new "friends" to sponge off of until they all got fed up and he ended up homeless. That cycle lasted a couple of years and I hope it never repeats itself.

    I'm pretty confident it will eventually catch up with your son too, HH. It usually does.

    Now, what are you doing for YOU?

  4. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Oh I am good SUZ! I am spending the last of my vacation cleaning closets and getting rid of things cluttering the house.

    Just posting about him, I only hear what others say, he won't call here.

    I understand why though. He knows that I know what he is doing. and in Barbara's great words....

    ....He knows he was raised better....
  5. judi

    judi Active Member

    I get that feeling too. I have my grandson (difficult child's son) often - just about every weekend. I always call my son to see if he wants to see his son. Last night we went to the park and pushed the baby in the stroller and then went for ice cream. My son too doesn't say much. He does tell his son he loves him and he thanks me for bringing him to see him. However...he too knows better than talk too much to me because he wassn't raised the way he is living.
  6. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    They know the lines we have drawn and they know they are living on the other side of them.

    I know when the day comes that I hear from him, he will be trying to come to the other side.
  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Yes he was raised better. I know that there is peace in that knowledge. I only hope he will realize the error of his ways and learn to live right. -RM
  8. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I find it interesting how some of our kids manage to eat in nice restaurants, dress well, nice clothes and haircuts...even when they live on the edge. ant always is neatly GQ groomed and likes fine restaurants as well. hmmmm

    I have to say you do get some comfort knowing they are ok.
  9. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    This is what I call a "splurge" restaurant.

    husband and I went for the first time a while back. We had salads and iced tea ~ the bill was over 50 bucks!

    To see them from the outside you would think they have it all together.

    That is how they seem to charm so many, the inside is only shared with a few.
  10. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    It always surprises me when difficult child's have all these bills and court dates and whatever....yet they still have $$ to go to nice restaurants :hammer:
  11. Scent of Cedar I

    Scent of Cedar I New Member

    Well, I think they think they have fooled the system. That was such a big piece of everything our difficult child did. And the truth is that there is plenty of money ~ and they do blow it. difficult child said that to me once ~ something about how everyone else was running to their little jobs and cherishing their little possessions, but money was easy come, easy go.

    And he spent alot of it.

    Was the girl your difficult child with decent?

    If she was, that could be a really good thing. She is someone he wanted to take to a nice restaurant, someone he wanted his sister to see.

    Maybe this will turn out to be a good thing after all.

    Our difficult child cleaned up and began turning his life around for a woman.

    When he fell the last time, part of his horror at who he had become had to do with the kind of woman he was living with.

    All I could tell him was that he should not look down on her for who she was, and that he needed to stand up and take care of himself.

    He did leave the woman, but fell back into drug use and the lifestyle that goes with it within a few months of leaving home the last time.

    Your son is young, though.

    So, maybe this is a really good thing.

    I hope that it is.


  12. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    Ours always has money for cigarettes, lottery scratch-off cards (don't get me started...), top-of-the-line cosmetics, shoes and more shoes, clothes and more clothes. It is still an issue (she is back at home, living by the rules, trying very hard to get a job and group home arrangement, but...). She gets benefits from the state and has this mentality that "my (cash) money is for me" and that she is simply entitled to receive food stamps and Medicaid because she needs the cash money to go for the other stuff. In other words she just doesn't get (or doesn't care) that the state aid is real money that someone (like me) had to work for so the state could take it and give it to her... Case in point: once, a while back, I took her to the grocery store -- she picks up two 2 1/2 pound packages of frozen cocktail shrimp, $38 -- I said something about how expensive it was and her reply is "Oh, it's OK, that goes on the LINK card" (foodstamps). She couldn't understand why I was irritated -- to her, it was like so what, it's not real money.
  13. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    I was annoyed too with difficult child 1. Her boyfriend was getting food stamps so he was buying seafood for dinner. No wonder working people get upset with people on welfare when you have someone like difficult child's boyfriend on it! He was perfectly capable of working, just didn't want to. He gets bored when he has to work at a job for more than a few days...
  14. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    It is amazing how they all have the "entitlement" gene. I got the feeling that my son thought I owed him for giving birth,lol.

    They all seem to think they can live by their own rules. Those silly people that work a job and save money just don't understand how much fun they are not having.

    Even as a young teen my son thought the weekends were his to do whatever he chose to do with whoever he chose to do it with.
    He was entitled to party all weekend because he had gone to school during the week.

    I wish I could say that I had hope that he was with a nice girl, but a nice girl would not be in the circles that my son is in.

    He only uses people for what he can gain then tosses them aside.

    He uses his looks and charm only to get what he needs. I can't understand how he became who he is, The son I knew had a tender loving heart.