difficult child got fired

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Nancy, Mar 2, 2008.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    She went into work yesterday and they fired her. She was suppose to work Friday and didn't go in, said she didn't see her name on the schedule. She was suppose to go in Wednesday and her reason "would you want to go to work after you spent all day in jail?"

    So she's going around saying, no cell, no car, no job, can my life get any worse? I told her it can get a lot worse if she doesn't connect the dots and figure out how it got this way.

    She doesn't seem to understand at all, says she is remaining friends with these druggies, that they are not the reason why she did drugs and she likes them

  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Is she still at home? I know she's only 16, but she isn't acting appropriately to stay. I don't have a lot of advice because you really can't control them at that age, only hope that they will want the advantages of doing the right thing. I hope she's down to a bed and a blanket and nothing else at this point if she is drugging with friends, not working, and is she in school?
  3. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Nancy...I'm very sorry. I'm also out of the loop...jail! :surprise:
    Sounds like you are in the roller coaster again.
    Our difficult child applies for jobs all over town, but doesn't get hired. In the past when she was working, she couldn't hold onto a job for a variety of reasons. Thanking G-d, crossing myself and so forth that drugs aren't in the picture (we test her), but there is that "other" difficult child related stuff.

    Is she doing okay in school? What grade is she in? Could she be over-taxed by doing both? I know many high schools have specialized programs now for working kids with reduced class loads. Anyway, being fired from a job and for the reason you mentioned is concerning. I think its great that you explained to her the need to "connect the dots," and would continue to put pressure on her to dump the druggie friends.

    Ironically, our difficult child avoids the druggie friends...but when they realize that she is doing this...they lie to her and say they "don't do drugs." If it wasn't so sad, it would almost be funny.
  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Geez, Nancy - difficult children choices don't seem to be working for her. Hmmmmmm?

    Big ((((hugs))))) to you & husband tonight. Remember I'm watching - kt is coming up very quickly behind your difficult child & I'm getting scared.
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry difficult child is making such poor choices. It's so frustrating when they don't understand the impact of their choices. Gentle hugs to you.
  6. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It makes you just shake your head and wonder, "will they ever get it?" An action or behavior always has a consequence - good or bad. It seems so obvious, but our difficult children struggle so with that concept.

    Sorry Nancy for this downhill spiral she seems intent on going through. Hugs.

  7. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    difficult child 1 doesn't believe that his poor choices produce negative consequences. He believes that everything bad that happens to him is caused by someone else. He is NEVER at fault!!!:furious:

    I wish I had some great advice for you - But, difficult child 1 won't even bother looking for a job.:furious: As a result, he doesn't have any pocket money. I only pay for things that are absolutely necessary. Unfortunately, I have to hide my purse so he doesn't try to steal money from me.:furious:

    I'm sorry I can't help you. I wish I knew how to make our difficult children realize that it is their actions that cause negative consequences!!! If someone ever figures out how to make them understand this, I'm sure each and every one of us will benefit!!!

    All I can say is I hope your difficult child is smarter than mine and gets hit hard with a dose of reality soon... Hugs, WFEN
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hugs to you...we're standing on the edge of this, since Miss KT has her license and has to get a job to support her truck. She's put in some apps, but not as many as she thinks she has. Then once she gets the job, how long will she keep it? Hope your difficult child figures it out soon.
  9. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member


    Sending hugs. :( No words of wisdom.... just hugs. :(
  10. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I am so sorry Nancy.

    It hurts us to our very core to watch our kids make these choices. You just want to shake them and say "what are you THINKING?" It is so painful when they can't see the forest for the trees.
  11. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending hugs. I totally know how you feel.
  12. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    I guess I looked at your post a little differently. The fact that she stated "can my life get any worse?" tells ME that YOU are doing something right. Actually you are doing a LOT of things right. I'm not concerned that she doesn't have a car, doesn't have a phone, sat in jail....all her choices, all consequences from her choices.

    When I heard Dude say it - I guess it struck me as (have a party Mom you are doing SOMETHING right) and with our kids it feels like we do so very little correctly because we usually don't get credit for anything.

    SO MY HAT IS OFF TO YOU KIDDO...........BRAVO on DOING THE RIGHT THING...and a second ovation for NOT speaking up and saying "OH they can get a lot worse." (i would have had to have bitten my tongue off on that one)

    ACES BABE!!!!!!


    I AM PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!

    WOOOOO HOOOOOOO.........