He had several things for homework that were important- one was to study (and let me help him) for a retake of a quiz in algebra. He was doing fine, then a "new" friend came over unexpectedly- at least unexpectedly to me. difficult child wanted to go hang out with him, but first of all, I don't like difficult child just wanting to go hang out on the streets in the neighborhood with a kid who we don't really know and who doesn't seem to be interested in anything else and who only shows up to do this once a week or so. It just doesn't quite add up to me and given the things difficult child has done in the past and the fact that the PO tried to make it sound to the judge like I just wasn't keeping up with where difficult child was all the time, let's just say I cringe when this boy shows up. Anyway, I told difficult child that he could sit on the porch and talk to the boy about 10 mins., but that was it because he had a lot of homework and, again, I don't really know this kid. difficult child says ok. About 7-8 mins later, I open the door to look on the porch and they were no where in sight. difficult child pulling a disappearing act is not a good thing. I turned off oven, since I was heating dinner, get in the car to look for him, drive around neighborhood and cannot find him. This is even worse, and it was approaching 7:30- his curfew from PO. I came home, resolved that he just will end up in trouble again. He comes home, works on homework for 5 mins and says he's done. I didn't say anything other than that I thought he was in big trouble. I didn't yell, discuss anything, that was it. Then, he starts yelling at me and getting in my face "why was I mad at him". DUH! I was so resolved to him just screwing up that really, I didn't feel mad and don't think I was acting mad. But he kept on in my face and I kept repeating "I am not yealling, I am not coming down on you, I am not doing anything, so I don't know what it is you are expecting". He says he wants to know why I'm mad, he didn't do anything wrong. I said that maybe someday when he was older he would understand more. I was not yelling or fussing- it was matter of fact. He flipped over my chair, with me sitting in it, grabbed this old wooden cane that we have laying around the house and swung it back like he was getting ready to bash my head as I'm laying on the floor in a turned-over chair. he kept yelling at me "why are you mad" and I said it doesn't matter what I say, you are going to hit me or kill me anyway. He said why wouldn't I say anything else and I said because I am afraid of him. Then he turned and started bashing the wall with the cane. Lovely- more holes in the wall. Then he went to the living room, sat down and bawled his eyes out. He was saying that all I did was go to a therapist and tell him everything he'd done wrong and put him on medications like he was crazy and mentally retarded and that everything in this world was not his fault. Mostly, he just cried for a long time. Finally, I went to him and told him for the hundredth time that the todc we saw 2 weeks ago got things screwed up and that I HAD NOT gone to him saying that everything was his fault (which is true). And that I wish he trusted me enough to believe that. Then he kind of repeated those things about crazy and BiPolar (BP) and not being all his fault. I said difficult child, BiPolar (BP) is a mood disorder and he says "I'm not mentally retarde" and I say difficult child, I HAVE a mood disorder. I said I have anxiety and depression issues, that is a mood disorder. It's not the end of the world. Well, why did I and psychiatrist put him on medications for BiPolar (BP)- who said he was BiPolar (BP). difficult child- YOU told psychiatrist you thought you were BiPolar (BP). He diagnosis'd you in large part based on the things YOU told him. (Lord, help me.) After some more crying he said where he and this boy had walked. (I wouldn't have been able to see them from the road.) I asked if there were any drugs or alcohol involved and he swore no. (I figure the PO will be checking on the drugs.) He said that is all they did- go for a walk and they were only gone 25 mins. I said difficult child, you left without permission and you were only supposed to be on the porch for 10 mins. Then, more crying, he can't stand not having a normal life and us not having money and etc., etc. I don't know how he's going to react when he finally realizes that things are in a desparate situation financially and every hole he puts in the wall just digs us in deeper. So, there went the evening. He got very polite with thank you's and may I's, ate, took a shower, took his medications, and is in bed. i would think this was 100% manipulation, except it is exactly what happened when we tried the typical therapy before 2 years ago. I am still so friggin angry with this last therapist- I swear I told him that route would trigger something then I'd be home trying to deal with it because all it does is open up a can of worms right about the time that therapy is over, then they send us home and I'm left trying to pick up the pieces and find stability for us again and it takes weeks. I specificly told him that I thought difficult child needed psychoeducation first and that psychiatrist had suggested that as well. Soooo, there's my vent for the night. I don't think difficult child is going to do so well on this quiz tomorrow.