difficult child involved in kidnapping?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by TheyAreLegallyAdultsNow, Jan 20, 2012.

  1. Got a call from our oldest last night she was very upset.

    Our Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) daughter difficult child (2.5 year estranged from us but still keeps up "a little" with our oldest) had contacted our oldest announcing she would arrive in a few hours... she was taking an "emergency flight" to OUR former "home town" area.
    (Where hubby and I grew up, our oldest attended college, graduated, now lives and works. Most of our extended family still lives.)

    The purpose of difficult child's "emergency flight" was for our Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) difficult child to "help a friend get their kids."

    daughter difficult child's mental illness (Reactive Attachment Disorder) causes the "cause and effect reasoning part of the brain" to not work very well. We have tons of examples of how she's entered stupid dangerous situations and not recognized the "Red Flags" obvious to others. Another aspect of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is people with this condition have a knack to be very charmingly deceitful. difficult child is smart, but unstable. As unstable as difficult child is, one symptom of her disease is can appear to be quite "with it."

    difficult child has, in her estrangement attended a community college program and is now an officer of the law (in our neighboring town) carrying a gun and a badge and is working for her ex-boyfriend's dad, who is currently under scrutiny for hiding his employee's thefts of prescription medication out of the city's evidence room. (Police are above the law... aren't they?)

    Our oldest said she didn't know if difficult child's trip was "official police business" or not... but difficult child had said that MY HUBBY'S SISTER was rushing to the airport to "help" difficult child "save" the kids.

    I would think OFFICIAL police business of transporting children out-of-state in an emergency would involve OTHER law enforcement agencies, NOT my nosy/meddling sister-in-law... what do you think?

    Oldest healthy Daughter said she had no idea who difficult child's "new friend" was, had never heard difficult child mention this person before last night.

    After Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)'s plane landed up there, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) clarified to our oldest she was traveling with "the husband" to get "the kids."

    difficult child daughter did not specify if "the husband" is also "the father" of the kids she had flown in "to save."

    difficult child did explain to our oldest that "the mother" was not legally allowed to leave our county, which is why she didn't accompany difficult child and "the husband" to get the kids.

    Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)'s reason for informing our oldest of everything was "so they could meet" since she was going to be "in town."

    Our oldest didn't like the sound of ANY of what was going on... and told our difficult child since her trip was so short and focused on "helping her friend" she'd rather plan to meet her another time, when she wouldn't be accompanied by her "friends."

    We only have the info as relayed to oldest by difficult child.

    To me it kinda-sorta-sounds like...

    a) our difficult child is continuing to choose "interesting" friends
    b) If "the husband" is not "the dad" this might be kidnapping

    What do you think?

  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Wow, kind of intense.

    Even if he IS the dad, there may be a custody issue an if he does not have legal rights to take the kids it will still be kidnapping and she will be in huge trouble helping that. I sure hope she has papers to prove custody.... No way to know who has custody... the county/state?, another family member?, the birth parent?, whatever?.... dont know where specifically this is happening so nothing you can really do, riight??? I guess only thing to do is let it go and wait to hear if anything happens.

    Pretty awful and I feel for you. Your signature makes me feel so sad for you and I sure hope this is not another drama you will have to endure. HUGS as you go through this.
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I agree with you and Buddy. It could be kidnapping either way. If he's not the dad, it's kidnapping. If he's the dad but does not have custody, it's kidnapping. Wow, I don't know what to tell you. If it is interjurisdictional, yes, there should be other law enforcement agencies involved. This whole thing sounds VERY fishy.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Dad or not, I'm going to bank on high possibility of kidnapping here. I'd say actually it's pretty certain.


    First red flag: A need to save the kids. (obviously biomom lost custody to someone, whether that be biodad or someone else, with that she can't leave the county, guessing it was for good reason)
    Second red flag: "dad" needs to save the kids. Um, if "dad" has custody one just picks them up, not saves them. So either this is NOT biodad, or biodad lost custody as well.

    If it were me, I'd be contacting police and letting them know what you have been told. And I'd just tell them that way if something DID happen, they have their first huge clue of who and why.

    We just had a toddler snatched out of our Mc D's this way and for similar reasons. Dad had won custody because biomom is an addict (well known fact) and mentally is about as unstable as you can get. She somehow convinced the group of difficult child's she hangs with that her daughter was "stolen" unjustly and walked right into MDs and snatched the child from grandparents. No one stopped them. Police refuse to get involved saying it's a "civil" matter. So now there is an innocent child back in the hands of her severely abusive/neglectful biomom..........and biodad is about to have a breakdown and planning his own rescue since police wouldn't help him. NOW? He has a major search going on for his missing daughter so court papers and an arrest warrant for bio mom can be served. omg
  5. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I dunno, I'm thinking from another direction here. It could be grandiose thinking and an over-stated self-important brag about why she's coming to town. I just have too much experience with difficult children creating mountains out of molehills, I guess, and living to stir up drama. But, you know her best and what she may be capable of. If you're concerned about a possible kidnapping, you could contact the local authorities, but unless they have specific names/places, I'm not sure what they could do, unfortunately.
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I was thining the same, call and say what? My police officer child is saying she is with someone ??? going somewhere??? to rescue kids (no names or where the kids are)???

    Even if she wanted tocall authorities what would she say. Would it cause a problem where there is no problem? on the other hand it could help avoid a huge issue. What about calling CPS tehre and saying this may be nothing but if anything happens and any kids go missing, call me and I will provide what I know??? OH that sounds lame too.... Just really strange situation.

    what if difficult child IS saying those words to sound important but really it is just picking them up and teh opinion of the person picking them up that the other that has them is awful so it is being called a rescue?

    I dont know, just a mess overall. I would pay attention for amber alerts though and call asap if there is an issue.
  7. CrazyinVA , that is exactly what causes me to hesitate "reporting" this "hearsay" drama.

    If I KNEW anything more than what difficult child had disclosed through our oldest... I might be more confident to give authorities a heads up... BUT difficult child's brand of mental illness is so very skilled at manipulating herself to appear a victim of her "crazy abusive parents."

    I'm grateful our oldest had clarity to not get involved in Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) difficult child's drama.

    IF I see anything on the news about child abduction, family abduction etc for the area our Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) difficult child swooped in to save... I'll have no problem sharing the little I know.
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would be hesitant to contact the cops too. Number one, this person has managed to become a police officer so no one is going to take you seriously at first anyway. You are going to sound like a lunatic. "I heard that my daughter who is a police officer is coming to some town to get some kids because their mother isnt sane enough to take care of them." Uhhh...so. You dont have enough info to make a formal complaint.

    I would sit back an watch to see if any fallout comes.

    I am shocked that she was able to pass the psychiatric testing to get into the police force but I guess she is good.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    in my opinion you don't want to go near any of this. Of course if you see/hear about child abduction in that area you will need to tell them what you know. A printout of your post might help you keep the info straight at a later time because it is so confusing.
  10. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Wow! Considering who she ended up living with in the last several years and what odd explanations she gave and was given for it all....it certainly is possible for her to see drama and suspect things without substance and even worse, to take action.

    Without concrete evidence, I would hesitate (big time) to give this any credence. Wise of your oldest daughter to stay out of it.

    If you are worried for these children or if it gets even weirder, I would consider calling the department of children and family services and/or perhaps the state's attorney's office and calmly and simply tell them your concerns.
  11. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'd sit back and wait. Hugs. DDD
  12. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    The innocents here are the children involved. Better to not let this ball start rolling. I would err on the side of caution and make a report. Do you know who they are targeting? You would feel awful if something happened. Worse yet, everyone who knows about it and does nothing could be charged with Conspiracy. Protect those kids and yourselves and report it.
  13. Can't do much at all without information about who the kid(s) and "the husband" are that our our difficult child swooped in to help "rescue."

    I appreciate being able to post here about it... and hear your perspectives.

    It is impossible for pure fiction to sound as insane as the situations Reactive Attachment Disorder has brought into our lives!!!
  14. buddy

    buddy New Member

    It is all over now so I assume things are ok?? There really was no report to make, if there was I am sure she would have done it but there were no details beyond saying my daughter, the cop, is somewhere in your state....who knows where exactly, what??? who she is with?? who they are going to see?? etc.... and sadly even though mom knows she has problems the fact is she is a cop and they are not likely to think she does not know what she is doing.
  15. We've not heard reports from family and friends of any "recently abducted children" in the news back home.

    I'm sure "officials" barely have time to pursue the backlog of "actually committed crimes" piled on their desks to even think about pursuing "potential" cases.

    The last time I heard, the murder of our difficult child-adoptees' almost-adopted-half-bio-sister STILL remains "unsolved" for more than 10 years.

    After our almost-adopted-daughter was found dead in the woods, we inquired for her young son's safety/welfare explaining to "officials" that bio-grandma had lost every child she had to "the system" and the child's bio-dad was incarcerated. Official we reported to told us "unless a specific complaint of abuse/neglect is filed in that child's interest, there is no jurisdiction to intervene regardless of who has custody of the child, and what their past history is."
  16. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Just awful what you have been through. I think you did all you can do in this case. I wish it was not so of course.... I am sure we all would prefer to be able to call someone and they would drop everything to just make sure nothing bad would happen to a child. but that would never happen.

    I am glad it is over and I hope it was just an exaggeration and drama.