difficult child pushed teacher!!!! Bus ride to blame???

Discussion in 'Special Ed 101' started by whateveryousay2007, Mar 19, 2008.

  1. whateveryousay2007

    whateveryousay2007 New Member

    I got a call from the principal yesterday. difficult child had a bad day could I come get him? Why? Oh, he head butted his teacher!

    EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!??????????

    Not my sweet passive child! Anyway, so I get there and he's sitting in the isolation booth. (It's not as bad as it sounds. It's just a desk with sides on it so they can't stare at people walking by.)

    The principal, his teacher & the speech therpist all meet with me. We just wanted to let you know what happened. We're not mad at him we just wanted to let you know so we can correct the "situation" so that he can stay at this school.

    It's the bus ride in the mornings that overstimulates him. What should take 15 minutes to get over is an all day thing for him. Is there anyway I can bring him to school versus him riding the bus.

    We've initiated a CD player for the bus to drown out noises. Can't they put him in the front away from the 3rd-5th grade boys? Oh, that makes sense....no we haven't tried that. Hello? I'm not trying to razz the school because they don't know what happens on the bus....but come on.

    What started the incident is that the class was going to computer lab and he wanted to go. The plan was for him to go to speech. He didn't want to go to speech. So the teacher is trying to get him to go one way and he wants to go the opposite direction.
    So the principal takes him for one on one time. He does well with this. It's not punishment, it's a quiet safe place for him to unwind.

    So, the principal lets him go to recess. He refuses to come back in. The principal has to pick him up and carry him in. Hence the phone call.

    He wasn't physically fighting with them, per se, but he was being defiant. I'm not defending his actions. He knew what he did was wrong and on the social cue cards put down that he was sad/embarrassed/sorry for his behavior.

    I didn't resort to spanking him, even though I was very unhappy with the behavior he had that day. I'm trying to be understanding that he has a "disorder" and what isn't rational to me may be to him at the time. However, with that being said I did punish him by taking away his "video game" & "toy cars" for 3 days.

    And he personally wrote his teacher an apology. She called later that night to tell me that she still loves him the same today as she did the day before and she wasn't mad. She just didn't want him to "think it was okay" to "buck up to her". I understand completely he can't fight with adults or other kids for that matter. He has to learn to cope with the unexpected, sensory, etc....

    He was in a bad mood for about an hour and then he was the sweet child, best behavior (even after punishment was described) and I wonder if this was the best way to handle it.

    I was raised with the correction/punishment by the "belt" but I just don't think that benefits these guys. Any ideas? I explained that he can't do that because they'll put him in another school with kids that aren't so nice. He told me that he didn't head butt her. I didn't yell at him or raise my voice I just let him know that nobody was mad at him he just needed to do better.

    His defense was...."the bus ride makes me mad".....(He wasn't in there when we had that discussion)
    The school doesn't have "the little bus" for him to ride as an alternative.
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    I'm impressed with the way the teacher and principal are handling this. Kudos to them.

    A noisy bus can be very challenging for a child with sensory issues. Moving his seat location may help.

    If aggitation from the bus ride is a frequent result, you might also want to consider ear plugs. (Check with-the principal and make sure there are no safety issues though. Inability to hear directions in an emergency may make the school district nervous.)

    Of course, another potential option is to transport him to school personally.

    Technically, if transportation is in your son's IEP, they must provide it -- even if that entails such an extreme as getting a medi-vac to pick him up.

    Also, your son must be educated in the Least Restricted Environment (LRE). Transferring him to another school simply because of transportation issues would cause me to raise an eyebrow. What's up with that?

    But the bottom line for me would be is he getting what he needs at this school? If so, I'd let the technicalities go and see if the other options help the situation.
  3. whateveryousay2007

    whateveryousay2007 New Member

    He won't wear the ear plugs. He's been listening to a CD player instead but I think that it's the quanity of rowdy boys he's surrounded by. He really should be on the front seat.

    Yes, the school is wonderful. He was in another county prior to here and he didn't get any help or understanding. (HE's been in this county almost 3 years)
    I haven't had any problems with the school (other than a lunch issue that's been resolved) and think that they are doing a great job.

    I'm in the situation where I really can't transport him until next school year. And they mentioned the other school district as a resort if he couldn't keep his hands to himself. (This was an oddity for him....he's really passive)
  4. Martie

    Martie Moderator

    You do not want to fight with a school district that is doing a good job of educating and understanding your child. however, they do have an obligation to transport him to education in the LRE. Here when students are going to a singular place they are cabbed by the SDs. If several go to the same school, the "little bus" with a bus aide is a solution.

    by the way, I personally think it is VERY unsafe for a school bur driver to be expected to drive and control any problems that arise. Therefore, another solution (which incidentally s probably the cheapest) is to put an aide on the bus to enforce order.

    Best to you,

  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! Whoa! We went through this for quite a while (difficult child 1's bus ride was 1.5 hours each way every day - even with a 1 hour limit on his IEP).

    We got him an MP3 player ($25 bucks at TrUs) which helped out. If he has an IEP or even a 504, you can request a bus para that can be assigned to him. If not, you could fight for a mini bus to pick him up. The para is way more cost effective so, since you like the district and human nature being what it is, you can present it this way:

    "Hi! I checked to see what would help my son have an easier time recovering from the overstimulation on the bus. It was suggested that I have a mini-bus be added to his IEP due to sensory issues. Wow! That seems really extreme.

    Someone did suggest though that they add a para for him on the bus. It seemed less expensive since it would add less than an hour over time for back and forth, and the para could add another adult presence on the bus that would stop some of the horsing around that has been going on."

    Presenting both solutions allows them control, but you come off as the problem solver.

    Aspies with sensory integration issues can have a bad day from the get-go if overstimulated too early in the day. Don't punish him too severely. It's really difficult to be able to do the right thing when you're literally feeling pain due to a locked in environment (the bus) that's akin to an insane asylum! Try giving him alternatives (like "decompressing" in a quiet room as soon as he gets to school.).

    Hope all goes well!