So I come home early today, after difficult children suicidal rants and by the time I get home he is asleep. Hmmmm. I let him doze, and stay with him for the day. Bio-dad says he will come over and take him to his house for a couple of days to see if he can get him stable, so I go to see my counselor. I get home, and difficult child is still at home. I ask him what is up, and he says he told his dad he did not want to go. So, great, here I am stuck with this unstable 6'3 kid. I said something, which I don't remember, and difficult child just starts going off. Throwing things, accusing me of things, telling me he is God and I am his minion.............blah, blah, blah. I turn around to walk out of the room and he hits me in the back so hard I fell to the ground. I picked up my cell to call 911 but of course you can't just dial it, you have to talk on a cell, cuz they don't know where you are. So, somehow I get out of the house, and hide in the bushes and call again and give them the address. He comes out of the house after me, and I keep walking into more and more public view hoping to deter him from more violence. While I am talking to 911 he takes the phone out of my hand and breaks it in half. At this point the police arrive and he become Mr friendly. Shakes the guys hand, and starts schmoozing. ***!!!!!! My neighbor is in her car, and is witnessing the whole thing, so she offers me a shoulder. The cop was really great, and I told him I needed him transported to a certain hospital, the only one I trust, so against their normal protocol they did. Once at the hospital I told them that in no way did I want to see or talk to difficult child. He is so manipulative and crazymaking, that I knew if I saw him, I would become even more of a basketcase. I also lied and said I could not make their mandatory visitations at 8, which was not a total lie, because, 4 days out of 7, I really can't. I just cannot see him right now. I know he need more help now than I can give. He needs to be somewhere that can possibly really help him. With him being 18 soon, I don't know how that will work. Please pray, and send positive juju my way that we find a place that can really help him, even after 18. I know nothing about any of this. If you have any insight please PM me. I have not yet completely broken down, I am still in denial. I cannot imagine that I will no longer have my kiddo in my house. Probably every again. He is my baby. And I love him so freaking much. But I have to let go.