Thursday night difficult child told me that he was nervous about this weekend. He and husband were going to sister in law's to pick up a love seat. They would go down to the cities Friday afternoon, attend a Viking's Game and come back on Saturday (today). Diva and I went to my sister's also in the cities (about 1/2 hour away) for overnight and most of the day. We drove seperate from difficult child and husband. difficult child stated he felt God was putting me in the cities because He knew something bad was going to happen to difficult child and wanted me close by. So, I asked difficult child about the new medication. It helped him feel better, "clearer", when he first started taking it about a month ago. It is a very low dose. He then told me that it stopped working a couple weeks ago and he is back to feeling confused. I called psychiatrist office on Friday to see if we might need to up the medication. psychiatrist was off until Tuesday (might check notes on Monday) so his nurse talked to me awhile and passed the info onto the on-call psychiatrist. I received word back to go ahead and increase the citalopram (? spelling) by 5 mg and use the PRN Xanax if needed this weekend. I know that as school approaches his anxiety is rising. He is still doing great in keeping it under control, however, we don't want him to have to live with feeling weird all the time if we can find an answer. I also considered his comment about something bad would happen this weekend. I think that concerned me most showing me that his anxiety is still active. I struggle trying to keep the medication route and him using his tools in balance. Am I really reading him correctly? If I increase medication, am I expecting too much of the medications as a way of protecting him from facing fears? If I don't increase, am I expecting too much of his coping skills ability wanting him to fight something at a level he just can not? Some days, as now, I am not too sure. I am so scared that he will have a panic attack and plunge back down. However, he also needs to be allowed the chance to overcome those attacks, get control before they happen using his own skills to gain confidence to face new situations. I do try to "detach" and let him take the lead because as of now, he is choosing his skills over the Xanax and he has overcome without a panic attack since Spring. He knows when he needs the Xanax. Now pressures are rising again - can he continue? I made the choice in asking if an increase was appropriate mainly based on his comment that the "weird" feelings were back again. Maybe an increase will take the edge off while his school anxiety is building? I need to trust the psychiatrist would not allow it if it was not appropriate. It is a small increase that will take awhile to build and he still has room for safe increases if needed. This weekend went very well! difficult child stated his uncle allowed him to leave their Viking's game seats on his own to go through crowds to reach a concession stand for a treat and find his way back to the seat. So, that is very huge for him to feel secure to do making me wonder if the increase is needed. But then I remember, school is only one week away and that 1st day will be the biggest test yet! I think (or do I hope?) that I made an o.k. choice in asking for that increase? I know many of you also struggle with the "Should I" or "Shouldn't I" in the medication changes and will understand why I am not sure - evidence seems to be there but what if they really are not?