difficult child update.........

[Jena]

hi!

soo today difficult child ate:

half bowl cereal, a corn muffin, 3 pancakes and a bowl of strawberries for breakfast. zero hesitation.

lunch has half a cheeseburger and a few fries ontop of a beautiful mountian we took a drive up to the cascades, no walking for her yet fresh air did her good.

than for dinner she had 3 chicken nuggets and rice with-carrots in it! yes carrots! and for snack she had two huge bowls of strawberries with sugar.

soo she's eating, eating well, trying new things and i have mtg with dr on thursday. in my mind i'm thinking heading home the 7th of feb. yet i'll wait and c what they say i should do.

she got through first day of dtu fine. she was shakey in beginning and i think it went ok. yet i'll find out more on thursday.

just wanna make sure it's totally gone before i get on that plane.

just wanted to share how we're doing.

 

[pepperidge]

Wow, sounds like a great day. So happy for you.

 

[Andy]

That is fantastic!!!

 

[susiestar]

WONDERFUL!!!! I hope visit from dad doesn't mess things up. I also hope he ponies up his share of the $$ - she is his daughter, after all! Didn't he have issues like this as a kid too?

 

[Bunny]

Jena, that is amazing progress!! I hope that it continues to go well.

Pam

 

[AnnieO]

I'm just thrilled to hear this... This is SO AMAZING! "No hesitation" - All RIGHT!!!!

 

[DDD]

Your post brought a ray of sunshine to an overcast drizzily day in central Florida. I'm delighted that it went so well. How 'bout the adjustment to McD house? Was she able to get to sleep and stay assleep? How 'bout you? Fingers crossed. DDD

 

[donna723]

That's great news! I'm so glad she's responding well.

 

[Jena]

hi

yea shes' sleeping the zyprexa is working yet it's also making her extremely hungry to the point of aggrivation. me no i can't sleep. i had been taking xanax for sleep half of a pill the lowest dosage yet that stopped working so i just toss and turn all night. i must be getting some sleep otherwise id pass out. my body problem got used to the dosage yet i hate taking it i've never had to take anything for sleep.

i am nervous about him coming out here. we're in week 3 she's doing great. why oh why does he have to inflict himself on us? i wouldn't be able to if i owed me and my husband that kind of money i'd feel awkward yet not him

oh and i figured out i feed her earlier so dining room is less empty yet still ppl so i'm trying to adjust her slowly to eating around ppl

 

[DDD]

You may be having difficulty sleeping because you dread the arrival of Ex. I've had one since l970 and he is almost the only person who can get me riled up. Sorry you have to cope with him....always in relation to the children! Hugs. DDD

 

[erbaledge]

This is awesome news Jena!!!

 

[Jena]

DDD your right, yet i had problems sleeping since day one here. i get easily unnerved with exh in my space. it's highly uncomfortable. i wish it was husband heading in. he said fly home for two days.yet i'm nervous to leave him with difficult child. we've come so far for him to mess it up.

we had family therapy this morning it was interesting to say the least. husband came in on speaker phone after shoveling our driveway out lol. it's just alot of work here to do besides eating. so i gotta work on getting my aftercare piece together for her so that we can continue the work home on all the other junk, medications, behavioral etc.

 

[DDD]

You are stronger today than you were last time you had to deal with him. I assume you are afraid he will mess up the big progress made. I don't know how you can control that...I doubt you have had much luck controlling him in the past, lol. On the other hand I know you will survive it as well as it can be survived. It is reassuring that you have the staff to fall back on should anything disruptive occur. It's a good time to repeat the Serenity Prayer in your head. Often I have gone to sleep just repeating and repeating the wisdom in those short sentences. Hugs. You are NOT alone. DDD

 

[HaoZi]

Serenity prayer...is that the one that ends with "and the wisdom to hide the bodies...."?

 

[shellyd67]

Great progress Jena ! Happy for you both. Don't sweat the X too much ....

 

[Jena]

DDD your right! Haozi your insane lol but ya already know that

shelly thanks.

family therapy was interesting she said our family dynamic is we all have this way of non verbal communication. she said there were like so many conversations going on in the room the day she met us yet it was quiet lol. yes freak family thank you!!!

so, she said it's time to put it to words now. when difficult child does her eye gesture bs plop it on her to use her words. same goes with you and husband. she said this is a major switch for you guys in communication so it's going to be hard yet it'll be worth it.

also she said maybe that's another reason why difficult child needs you closer all the time due to that. ok ill buy it and try it!! lol

it's a real shame these people could really do us a major amt of good that we have to pull out and take her home. i never knew how bad the other therapits were till imet these guys. they also think difficult child has tethered cord and that's why she's been peeing bed since 2 years old. they want to do an mri so im asking tmrw when can we do it? i went to specialist in ny hetold me go home it's emotional.

if it's something we can really fix that would be great. it's surgery yet she'd opt for that so she wouldnt' have to wear pull ups anymore at age 12.

 

[susiestar]

WOW! You really have found an awesome group of people to help you!! The nonverbal conversations thing is interesting, esp as it would then be logical that difficult child wouldn't want you out of eyesight. It is going to be hard to change, but I think the therapist is right. It also could help explain some of easy child's problems maybe.

WOO HOO on having someone think of solutions other than "emotional" for her nighttime enuresis. Heck, not wanting to wet the bed might be a big contributor to her sleep problems. Esp if you had all the docs telling you that you have to stop all liquids for hours before bed (we had one who suggested stopping all liquids, soup, etc... for 6 hrs before bed or we would "never" get thank you potty trained. he was three, for crying out loud!). While surgery is never really good news, a reason for the problem and a way to solve it is AWSOME news!! I hope the MRI shows a very simple to fix problem!!

In your watercooler thread I mentioned asking the therapist you really like if she has anyone she would recommend in NY. Also ask the family therapist and the other docs that you see if they know of good docs in NY. The worst they can do is say no, Know what I mean?? We found an awesome doctor when we moved here by asking our doctor in OH.

You are doing such an awesome job with such a complicated set of problems - I hope you are as proud of you and impressed with you as the rest of us are!! NOT saying this to blow sunshine up your nose, saying it because it is TRUE!!!

 

[DDD]

Haozi, I may be paraphrasing it but it is the prayer that AA uses with it's members and for me it is helpful.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

To me it is a daily reminder that there are categories of issues. It reminded me (and still does) that no matter how much I wanted to change my Ex or the difficult children that I just couldn't do that. It reminded me that I needed to identify what I could change and needed to man up and do my best. It always reminds me that I need to sort through problems and make sure that I am focusing on what I have can influence or control and let go of the impossible. Hugs. DDD

 

[graceupongrace]

Jena,

So glad to hear about difficult child's amazing progress. It sounds as if this trip is having huge benefits for both of you. Praying that all the good stuff continues! Many hugs to both of you.

 

[Jena]

susie hi and thanks. i'm just as all of you doing what we gotta do. i don't think the peeing has to do with her inability to sleep. yet if we can solve that it's huge. ny doctor's wouldn't give us an mri. i think better communication is needed in our entire family yet i honestly do not believe that will lessen difficult child's neediness of me. yet we'll c.

as far as doctor's i have already asked they know none. i have time to work on that this week, yet internet here has been up and down. gotta go to the mtg. now with doctor see when i can go home lol love to fix all her junk or at least contain it or learn how to handle it better. yet our goal was to get her to eat and we've done that.