difficult child vs me

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Shari, Apr 13, 2007.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I apologize for my first moment back being to ask for help. Afraid I've not got much to contribute at the moment.

    I know losing my dad so sudden was as hard on wee difficult child as it was on all of us, but he has been a terror to me this week, and I don't know what to do.

    I picked him up from the sitter tonight. She needed him picked up early. My fish were out of food, and he generally likes the pet store, so I stopped to pick up some food (very small town pet shop, he can handle this place). While I was paying, he had to go to the bathroom. They don't have one. He screamed at me, hit me, spit on me, etc. I did as in-home directed and completed the purchase as best I could and left. He repeated the behavior in the car. We got home shortly and he played outside for 15 minutes before he went to the bathroom.

    The whole night has been like this. The latest was supper. He was starving, screaming, yelling, I give him his plate, he ateed2 bites and gulps down a huge glass of milk and said he's full. Then he went an refilled the milk and started to chug it. I tolf him he needed to eat 3 more bites before he has more milk. He rolled his eyes at me, sharply said "NO", then turned over , backed his but into me, and spread his :censored2: cheeks at me, standing there rubbing them into me and sing-songing.

    I should have ignored, but its getting NOWHERE. I told him if he couldn't treat me any better than that, I didn't want to be in his sight, I sent him to my room, and I left the room. He screamed hysterical for 30 minutes, finally came back out, parked in the living room again, and screamed until husband took him to his room and closed the doors. He screamed there for another 30 minutes, by the end of it, the screams were genuine fear (he's afraid of being alone for some reason). He begged husband for food cause he was "SO HUNGRY".

    When he finally calmed down, husband brought him out and gave him the rest of his dinner. He ate 3 bites and was done again. I just left the room. husband is so far handling it, difficult child is mouthing, but not nearly like he was.

    I'm just at wit's end. I'm not dealing with dad the best to begin with, and this is just wracking my last nerve.

    Thanks for listening. Love you all.
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I wish I had some advice for this situation but I don't. Grief & difficult children are a very difficult mix. I am glad to hear that husband stepped up & stepped in for you plus I think it was wise to have difficult child removed to his room for awhile because of his inappropriate behavior. He's getting old enough that purposeful behavior probably shouldn't be ignored anymore. {{{Hugs}}}
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    I'm glad that husband stepped in for you.

    This is a time of very high emotions & grief; difficult child is most likely just as sad & doesn't have a clue on how to "negotiate" all these sad emotions he's feeling. Then he sees that mom is sad.

    It's okay for difficult child to see your grief. He needs to learn empathy - this will also be a time for your husband to help your difficult child navigate the same emotions & how to share grief & sadness appropriately.

    Yesterday is over - today is a new day.