difficult child Was Taken To The Hospital

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, Mar 14, 2013.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    He was having a good day, when he got in my face because I scolded easy child. Started yelling at me that I can't yell at easy child. On and on it went. Pushing me. Threatening me. He finally cooled off, but then realized that I would tell his father about his episode. That started him all over again. Screaming at me that I can't tell dad. I told him that if I feel that his father needs to be told something, and this was ones of those times, I would tell him. So he pulled a large knife from the knife block and said he was going to kill himself because his father was going to kill him anyway. easy child sees him pull this knife and started screaming. He runs out of the house and says he's going to Gram's house, which is down the street. I called Gram to let her know he was walking down there. By this time difficult child put the knife back, but when I again refused to say that I would not tell his dad that he pushed me and threatened me, he took it out again. I told him that I was going to call the police because he was making threats with a knife, and he said , "Go ahead! See if I care! That just means you don't love me!" So, I called the police and told them that I had a 13 year old brandishing a knife and threatening suicide.

    The 911 operator was great. She heard him screaming while I was on the phone with her and she agreed to speak with him. Once difficult child got tired of pleading his case to her she got back on the phone with me and said she would remain on the line with me until the responding officer got there, which was all of two seconds later.

    Because he made threats of suicide the officers said that he had to go to the ER. If they took him they would have to handcuff him and the officer felt that would have been too traumatic for him. Personally, I would have gone that way. If we drove him (husband got home from work while I was on the phone with 911) the officer would follow in his car and walked us into the ER to make sure that difficult child gave us no problems.

    On the way there difficult child kept saying that this was all my fault. That I should never have called the police and I should have known that he was "joking."

    He apparently tried telling the nurse in ER psyche unit the same thing and he basically told difficult child to knock it off. No one made his pick up that knife. That was his choice and no one else's.

    They are keeping him overnight and will decide sometime tonight or tomorrow, when they have had a chance to evaluate him fully, to decide if they will discharge him or have him admitted to a hospital that deal with adolescents. I'll know more tomorrow.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I'm really sorry. Q had a great day and as I'm typing this he just got mad that I asked if he took his medications. Every name and every threat....so, I'll just keep typing to you.

    So, if I may make a suggestion. While he is gone gather up every sharp...knives, scissors, nail files, razors, whatever ...and lock them up. I use a kitchen drawer and cabinet where I put those heavy magnet locks but if you own you can do a key lock.

    It's worth the effort and peace of mind.

    He sounds so familiar in his thinking and logic.

    I'm glad you followed thru.

    Hugs, Dee
    PS. Q is quiet now, sigh.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I am glad they kept him. Do you feel safe having him come back home tomorrow? Will easy child feel safe if difficult child comes home tomorrow? You CAN push them to admit him to the adolescent treatment place if you feel easy child, husband, you, or difficult child will not be safe if he comes back home so soon. I have been concerned about his violence toward you and easy child for quite some time now.

    I know it is a big hassle, but you MUST lock up all the knives, scissors and sharp things. I have been there done that with this situation and it doesn't get better with-o some serious changes in difficult child's thinking and coping skills. Those changes won't happen very fast and it make take years to get to the point where he is ready to start making those changes. I know you shouldn't have to live in lockdown, but this is reality and in reality with difficult children those kinds of 'shouldn'Tourette's Syndrome' just don't really apply. Which hoovers mightily.

    If you feel difficult child needs more treatment inpatient, you can ask what the options are if you choose not to take him home. You need to think long and hard about what will happen the next time he is upset and grabs a knife. If he does this with an officer there, it can end very very badly. It may be better for him to not be in the home for a while as he gets some help to learn to control himself. Regardless of his age, an officer dealing iwth an armed person has very few ways to handle things and keep everyone else safe. If nothing else, it might be wise to have an officer explain that to him. If you explain it, difficult child will make it all your fault regardless of what he does. If husband explains it, he will be 'playing favorites'. If an officer, esp a male officer, explains it, difficult child might actually comprehend the message.

    Have you thought about installing one of the fairly inexpensive security camera systems in the main rooms of your home? As much to document difficult child's rages/behavior as to have a record of incidents like this so that the psychiatrist and/or therapist can truly understand what is going on? in my opinion many tdocs/psychiatrists think we are greatly exaggerating our difficult children' behavior and they don't take it as seriously as they should if we are just telling them what has happened. If we have video to show them, it can make a BIG difference. It is just a suggestion.
  5. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I'm glad easy child had a safe place to go to and that they kept him. Can you get them to do some evaluations while he is inpatient? You did a great job calling 911 and trying to talk him down.
  6. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    The hospital called in the middle of the night (about 1:00 am) to ask a few more questions and told me to try and get some rest. I think I slept for a couple of hours. It's going to be a long day. husband said he's going to head to work really early and try to get the things done that he needs to do and then come home early. I'll have to see what happens when I call the hospital this morning.

    I texted the therapist last night to keep him in the loop. therapist's reaction was "I'm stunned," which made me angry. I sent him back a text that asked why he was so surprised? He knows difficult child hits me. He knows difficult child threatens me. He himself has told me to call the police when he gets violent. Why is anyone surprised that this is where we've ended up?
  7. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Glad the operator, officer, and nurse handled this so well. Is husband stepping up well enough to help you through this? *HUGS* hon. How are you and easy child doing?
  8. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    husband is...husband. He's going to work this morning, but he's going really early so that he can come home. He doesn't want me driving difficult child home alone if they discharge him, which is not something that I really want to do, either.

    easy child was still awake when we got home. He asked where difficult child was and I told him that difficult child said and did some things that he should not have done and so Dad and I took him to see the doctor and that he had to stay overnight. I sent an email to his teacher last night to let her know it had been a really bad night here in case he is not himself during the day.
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hope you got some sleep. ....keep safe.
  10. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Bunny, I am sorry that this happened, but hopefully while he is in the hospital they will see he needs more help, and he will be able to get the help he needs, and you will be able to take a deep breath and have some peace for a few days. And, I completely understand the lack of help from husband. Hugs
  11. confuzzled

    confuzzled Member


    i hope something good comes out of all of this....maybe in the short term its a good idea to go to an adolescent unit. i know its not a great answer, but maybe they can figure something out.

    i know its friday but if they do decide to keep him you might want to have a few actual school assignments on hand in case they have "school"....my single biggest regret is that i didnt make them observe the struggles with school/homework, since in our case it was a big part of the puzzle.

    i'll be thinking of you all.
  12. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I support the suggestion to push for the admit to the psychiatric unit. Try and get testing done while he is there too. You need better data about what you are dealing with. Perhaps a medication change as well.
  13. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    I have nothing more to add, but I wanted to chime in with support - hang in there! That must have been SO scary to see him with a knife like that. Good for you for following through and calling the police. And I agree - traumatizing to him or not (HE traumatized YOU!), I would have definitely gone with the handcuff idea. I hope you can get more answers and help. Please keep us updated - will be thinking of you today...
  14. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I just got off the phone with the hospital. They said to come pick him up. I asked why he was being discharged rather that sent for further evaluation and the person who answered the phone said that this was what the psychiatrist there said to do. I asked if I could speak with the psychiatrist and I was told that I could do that when I come to collect my son.

    I also told them that I was not coming there until my husband got home. She asked when that would be and I told her it would be at least an hour. I'm not getting in the car alone with him because I don't trust him not to retaliate.
  15. buddy

    buddy New Member

    He can reverse that. Don't even see difficult child until you see the doctor. I found once the doctor saw me in person he was much more cooperative. Right now, difficult child is just an insurance statistic.
  16. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Bunny, first ((((hugs)))).

    Second, I totally agree with Buddy. Do not see difficult child until you speak with the psychiatrist there. Hopefully you can push for admit once he hears all you have to say.

  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member


    I hate it when kids escalate like that. It is a familiar scenario. They are often such black and white thinkers and so catastrophic, and their anxiety totally goes through the roof.
    I love the part about "just kidding." Yeah, right. I did't really mean it ... well what the h were you doing?
    It would definitely be beneficial if he could stay another day. I hate it when hospitals just send them home like that. Sure, nearly everyone's going to calm down once their in the psychiatric hospital; the trigger is gone. You would think the doctors could see that.
    I agree with-the others, don't let your difficult child see you when you go in, and insist on seeing the dr. Fingers crossed!
  18. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    saying a prayer that things go better than anticipated. I'm sorry it's been so tough. Hugs DDD
  19. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, I forgot to say that I am very disappointed that the therapist was surprised.
    Be sure to share the psychiatric hospital info with-the therapist. When you fill out the forms when you pick up difficult child, fill out a release for the therapist and one for the pediatrician. (But you already knew that. :)
  20. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    When my daughter was using drugs, she pulled a knife on herself (a BIG one) and put it by her throat. I called 911 because I was terrified. They took her away in handcuffs, and it broke my heart, but at least she was taken to a hospital where she was safe. When she was gone, we cased her room and found two other big knives under her mattress (you may want to look around your son's room).
    Bottom line is, she never did it again. Ever. And you did the right thing to protect your child.