difficult child's (all) today

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Tiapet, Jun 20, 2008.

  1. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Well, I went in looking like something the cat hacked up and spit out, literally. Ms Emo at first proceeded to sit out in car and not come in and wait for appointment. Two little ones were in with me. They really weren't all too bad at first.

    Then Ms Emo decides it's time to come in and wait. She decides to plop herself down directly across from me but diaganol from the two little ones (middle one next to me, little dude next to her). Little dude is quietly listening to his mp3 player swinging his feet which happen to drag along the floor and make a sound (nothing major). She is "annoyed" by the sound and telling me I better do something about it or she is going to. Over and over she says this and I tell her he is fine. That wasn't good enough for her so she goes over and takes his headphones off his player. This started a battle right there in the office waiting room with people. She is not quiet mind you and "I don't care who hears me" despite repeated attempts in telling her to lower her voice besides telling her to give the headphones back to him now. She says "what are you going to do? Take away my cell phone, the computer, ground me from *friends name* house (she was going over there this evening for the weekend)? Go ahead I don't care, I have no life anyway." Apparently I am not taking care of anything to *her* satisfaction and I should not be parenting at all.

    Geesh, the little one was fine, absolutely fine. Lately everything has been bothering her even the way the wind is blowing! She is depressed and I told her so, she's over tired (of course because she has mono still), she refuses to eat right, is non compliant with her medication and just plain doesn't want to do anything. She did, however in her defense, say she needs more therapy that every other week is not working for her (she had set this schedule up). I told her to go in today and tell therapist this and I'm sure she will give her weekly appointments then.

    Thankfully she did state this to therapist and she will be getting more. I generally do not become involved with the therapist as she is old enough now that I do not have to be unless she requests it OR the therapist directly asks me something (1 occasion I knew I had to tell therapist something with out her knowledge as it was important and I wasn't sure she'd speak up - she did however).

    So she comes back out and I am requested to go in at end of her appointment to set up new appointment for next week. Middle difficult child's therapist was right with me as we walk to the door. Mz Emo goes through the main door and basically lets it go on me (big heavy door that I struggle to open and hold). The therapist told her to get back here and who was this standing beside her? She says my mother. She says that's right and you can hold the door for her! difficult child gets mouthy and says she's a big girl/adult, she can hold it for herself. Therapist says that's not the point. You will hold this door for your mother (and made her hold it open for me as she knows how much I struggle with my abilities).

    Instead of that happening suddenly she decided to dish out her normal **** at/to me that has been going on daily/hourly at home (good move sweety as therapist just got a good earful and taste of what I've been putting up with! lol). First it was an attack on me as to why I won't let her pierce anything (several places she wants to get pierced). Then it quickly moved to how I won't let her get her license yet (she can legally but she is not ready for it otherwise in my humble opinion and won't allow it as it's unsafe). She needs much more practice and more calmness in driving. Then just as quickly it turned to not letting her dye her hair blue (which I never said she couldn't for summer but some how she thinks I said no - this would be my temp compromise to piercing). Then quickly to 5 other things all in a matter of 10 minutes.

    Do you know what therapist said to her???? LOL "Congratulations, this is NORMAL! Do you know how many of my other clients sit where you are before and after you each day and go through the same things with their parents and I hear about it? 9 out of 10. This is all normal stuff" difficult child said yeah but I'm not normal! Therapist says no you aren't but THIS stuff IS! LMAO. Touche again sweety. Therapist make a semi joke about something she said and made her laugh which redirected the conversation back to what we were there to do which was setting the appointment for next week to help get her back on track and doing better.

    Oh, I forgot, when I first walked in therapist did ask how I thought she was doing and I had to tell her of the incident of difficult child taking 4 different medications because she wanted to sleep. No OD levels but still, combining things and taking things she should not have. Of course I said she is not doing well and I am concerned but not concerned that she is trying to do herself in (aka suicide). I knew she was tired and wanted to sleep but really couldn't but went about it all wrong. I told therapist I had already taken most all medications and put them away but apparently the ones left out (over the counter stuff and sibling medications) now are being put away and under my control and she would have to come to me for it. Therapist was in agreeance and all for that idea. difficult child did not balk.

    So that was #1. Little dude's appointment ended with his therapist informing me that he's not going to be around until Aug 1st. Gee great he's going away AGAIN after being gone for 3 weeks. This keeps happening and little dude is not really getting the amount of therapy he needs. I had already asked if there was another but there isn't. Middle difficult child's therapist however is now going to see little dude too on some weeks between now and Aug along with daughter but she is also going to talk to them and see what can be done so we get better treatment for him in the long run. This has been an on going battle with this therapist being gone for long periods of time.

    I adore middle difficult child's therapist. She is wonderful and helpful in so many ways. I can't stress that enough. She does her job above and beyond and hold Ms Queen accountable. Ms Queen had made a string bracelet for her and while we were sitting there chatting the therapist was tying it off on her own wrist. That is until I made her aware that it was string that was stolen from her older sister's yarn work. Oh well that wasn't flying. She immediately tells difficult child that she doesn't accept stolen goods at all and gives it right back. difficult child didn't like that one bit at all!

    So that was today. Overall a good out come I think but the best part was Mz Emo's situation. I can not wait for her to out grow this teenage mentality already. *sigh* I want a homefront, not a battleground and even not engaging is not working at this point.

    Thanks for listening to the vent.
     
  2. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Taipet,

    I think if I had to send you ONE gift - today, it would be oxygen. I would send it so that you can breath, because with EMO queen - she inhales the life out of me reading about her. WOW.

    She reminds me of a saying we had about Dude when he was around 13ish....

    No no no - enough about me. Well what do YOU think about ME ?

    Hugs
    Star

    I gotta LOVE the therapist that gave back the stolen goods bracelet WOW what an on spot gal!
     
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Gaaaah! I SO get it. Poor kid was busying himself listening to an MP3 and she declares war on him.

    Yeah, I not only remember Copper (who was pretty much a easy child!) getting ticked at the wind blowing the wrong way...I remember MYSELF getting mouthy if someone looked at me wrong. It's so embarrassing now to think that I was such a witch when I was a teen.

    Sending strength. I don't know how you do it with 3; I can barely handle one!
     
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    OMG!! I am soooooooooooo glad Nichole is no longer 16!!

    ((((hugs))))
     
  5. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Thanks for all the thoughts. This is only the tip of of the ice berg. See new post on general for thoughts and ideas.
     
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