difficult child's Horrible, Lousy, No Good Day

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by On_Call, Jul 26, 2007.

  1. On_Call

    On_Call New Member

    Well, it had to happen. difficult child had been on track. No blips on the radar. No meltdowns. Nothing.

    Yesterday, difficult child went off to school with a field trip to the county fair. Last year, when they went, they happened upon a rooster crowing contest and they let him enter - and he WON! He thought he might get to do it again, but it was scheduled for a different day. Strike One.

    Then, some kids got to play games to win small toys (although the note home specifically said the kids would not be riding rides or playing games). Strike Two.

    At 2:00 p.m. difficult child's 'skill builder' was supposed to pick him up from school and take him to another local carnival with a group of her kids. She called our house and the school at 2:00 to say she was still 45 minutes away. The teacher put difficult child on the bus and called husband to tell him what happened and that difficult child was headed home. Strike Three - and straw that broke the camel's back, apparently.

    difficult child was crying on the bus - frustration over skill builder not getting him on time and the fact that there was confusion at the end of his day and he had to rush to get on the bus, etc. Another child on the bus laughed and pointed at him and called him a "big, blubbering baby". Strike Four (if you can even have a strike four). difficult child began standing up on the bus and yelling at the kid - threatening to "punch him in the nose". When the bus monitor tried to calm him and redirect him, difficult child (reportedly) elbowed bus monitor in the groin area (although difficult child says he was aiming for his stomach - not that it matters).

    When difficult child got home, he came off the bus crying - and husband did not handle it well. difficult child called me at work, I calmed him down over the phone and he went off with skill builder for the other carnival. (At this point I did not know about the bus monitor portion of the incident.)

    I met skill builder and difficult child in a nearby town where karate was held - different venue/different night. At this point I have been completely filled in on the assault part of the day - but let difficult child go through karate. After, I took him to DQ where we chatted over ice cream - thought it would be a good diversion.

    He was very depressed. Cried over kid on the bus. Cried over the fair. Cried over husband's reaction.

    Then, he told me that he doesn't think he took his welbutrin in the morning. I told him to - and I watched him get a drink of water - but he says he doesn't think he actually took the medication. Can this entire episode and horrible day be explained by one missed dose of his medication???

    Last night in the car on the way home, he was expressing complete hopelessness. Saying our entire family would be better off without him, etc. He said in one day he has ruined everything good that he has done lately. No amount of me talking to him was helping or changing his mind.

    This morning, he was gloomy and sullen, but he knew that he owed some apologies and hates "facing everyone". He went off to school without incident, but I will be holding my breath today until I know he is home from school.

    Gosh, I knew of course that this could happen, and yet it still caught me off guard. I think this merits a call to psychiatrist at the very least.

    Thanks for listening.
     
  2. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    Poor thing :frown: Sounds like he had an awful day :frown: I think you handled it perfectly. My difficult child goes through the same feelings of hopelessness. I can't imagine how it must be for these kids. They try so hard and in a instant they can blow it. We make such a big deal when they are good and they so much feed off of that. It's so disappointing for them when they know what they did was wrong but it's after the fact and they can't change it.

    That's a lot of disappointment in one day, especially being without medications. I hope today goes better for him.

    (((HUGS)))
     
  3. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Interesting on the missed dose front. I often wonder about that as well. M missed his medications one day and while he survived at school, home was no picnic...and I wondered what medications were *really* "missed" so to speak, since some are "built up" in the system and some are more short acting. I would have thought that something like Welbutrin would have been built up and that a missed dose wouldn't *really* matter, but of course that's purely my inexperienced laymans guess. LOL But, I'm curious if he thought of that after the fact, of if he thought he missed his does BEFORE the behaviors started to spiral, Know what I mean?? If he thought he missed it before all of those behaviors, perhaps there was a placebo-like effect going on?

    Anyway, hopefully this was just a blip. The hopelessness is certainly of concern though, so yes, that I would say warrants a close eye/ear and a call to the psychiatrist.

    :::hugs:::
     
  4. Mrs Smith

    Mrs Smith New Member

    So sorry to hear about your miserable day. I know my son would have had the same response under these circumstances - way too many unexpected and disappointing events. All it takes is one thing to throw him off balance and his whole day is a wreck. I totally relate.

    I wouldn't be surprised if the missed medications affected him. I see a difference with my son. Sounds like you handled it really well. Better days ahead.
     
  5. On_Call

    On_Call New Member

    Yesterday was better, although the poor kid's glasses broke. Luckily, the eye doctor had a pair of frames that his lenses fit in (sort of) until new frames come in. Luckier still is that they were under warranty, so they will be replaced at no cost to us!!

    I also would not think that one missed dose of welbutrin would be enough to throw him off his mark completely, but . . . who knows.

    On to better things, anyway, right???

    Thanks ladies!
     
  6. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Jamie,

    I can't speak with authority regarding the coorilation between the missed medication and the happenings that day, but I can give my opinion.

    My difficult child would have reacted the same way. All it takes is a couple disappointments that "typical" kids can slosh off to degrate the mood of difficult child. The kid laughing and pointing would have set mine off bigtime!

    The only thing that I would repremand mine about is the elbow. We have a rule in my house - irregarless of the reason, if you invade someone's personal space with body, hands, or feet, everything that has an on/off switch is gone for a minimum of a day (depending on the circumstances and secerity).

    But, rest assured that your difficult child definately had some major triggers!

    Sharon
     
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Jamie, I'm not sure you need a call to the psychiatrist. You outlined everything so well in your note, it's pretty obvious what the catalysts were, plus, he's better now ... I know for a fact that when my son misses his dose, he is very prickly and the least thing sets him off. The fact that your difficult child mentioned it to you and thought it might be related is very good.
    Did you talk to him about the elbow incident? Maybe you could get him to write a note of apology for that. I like those types of notes because they are concrete and it brings closure to things. (At least, one would hope so!)
    Good luck.
     
  8. On_Call

    On_Call New Member

    I didn't end up calling the psychiatrist - I have a regulary scheduled appointment with her this Wednesday - with-out difficult child - and will explain the whole day to her. Poor kid. And, he and I did talk about the elbow part of the day - and threatening the peer he was going to "punch" him "in the nose". I have tried to explain to him that as he gets older and stronger these outbursts with physical aspects tied to them will result in assault charges. They simply cannot be tolerated. I also told him that if that happens on a regular basis that I will unfortunately have to pull him from karate. I know he does not want that - but I cannot continue to take him there for instruction that he may use in anger.

    He apologized to all involved on Thursday - and the rest of the week went well, so hopefully just a "blip".

    Thanks again.
     
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