Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by ksm, Dec 31, 2015.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    It's a small thing, but so typical. I don't give a house key to our daughters to carry around. But last night we had yo go out of town and she was spending the night with my son. I gave him a key. He took her home when he went to work. Then she was suppose to watch a friends daughters for a couple of hours. So she locked up the house and took key with her. Ended up watching kids til tonight. They brought her home. I asked for the key... She left it at friends house. She said the little girls were going thru her purse, so she took out the key and put it up so they would not lose it. Then she forgot to get the key...

    The one time I give her my key... I know she can probably get it tomorrow, but this is what worries me. How will she ever manage life on her own?

    Happy New Years...

  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Ksm, my son was very immature. He is now in his late thirties and handles his own house, bills and son in a different state. He is very responsible.

    Give her time. We mature at different times. I was also a late bloomer.

    Hugs and happy 2016 to you.
  3. Rosie67

    Rosie67 Member

    Sometimes it is the little things that are so disappointing and frustrating. It is likely that you will get your key back but that is not the point. Keep us up to date.
  4. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Yes, it is a minor problem. She is mature and responsible to watch young children. She has an average IQ. But she forgets so many things...

    When she spends the night with a friend, she never comes back with all her belongings. I can call her and say, I am on my way to pick you up, make sure you have your charger and the rest of your things. Get home, no charger...

    2 months, 19 days and she will be 18... KSM
  5. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    I do not think its showing of immaturity are you telling me that you did not not similar things as a adult? Everybody makes mistakes like that no matter the age it just happens. If we do some introspection many of us will find out that we forgot a lot of things during our lives and we did not think we where immature. We where just careless.
    My wife and I forgot the key quite a lot in our lives. Once I even lost them together with my jacket but still manged to keep a a job to buy a house and to raise 2 independent children.
    Do not worry such things are gonna still happen to you daughter and probably even to you.
  6. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Yes, everyone loses a key or locks them in the car on occasion. She has lost her purse, her money, her drivers permit and license, 5 phone chargers in 5 weeks, one Zune, 3 iPods, 2 phones, her sisters new shoes, a ruby ring I gave her on her 16th birthday, and multiple other items. That is why I have never given her a key to our home. I can't afford to change the locks. Many grade school kids can be responsible with a key. I had hoped she would too. When I said it is a small thing, I meant it. There are much worse things... Drugs, stealing, etc. But the small things show how much she struggles... She can't keep her brain focused. Sometimes the small things that a child can't do is bigger than the big things... I have accepted the large things. It is hard to accept the small things, too. KSM
  7. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I just asked if we can go over to the house and get my key... She already had the friend from last night take her this morning to the house she was babysitting at... Now no one there can find the key... Will have to have husband go and have a key made off of his... He will want new locks... Sigh... KSM
  8. Kalahou

    Kalahou Active Member

    I hear you, ksm. I have had to deal with some of this myself with DCs to some extent. Some people are like this (always losing, forgetting, breaking, changing stories, etc.) Some fortunately, eventually learn from their lessons and grow out of it. I know some never will. It is often (usually) the small things day by day that wear us down, frustrate, irritate, and incapacitate more than the big, hard things sometime.

    I heard an analogy once like this …. When trekking hour by hour, day by day on a hiking journey, for example, it is not the large boulder in the path that stops you. You can exert extra effort or work together and scale a big rock or obstacle in some way (to get over, under, around or through), so as to continue on the journey. And it’s a good feeling of success to have met and conquered the big challenge. However, the tiny pebble or sand grain(s) in your shoe, that continually eat away at your foot inside your boot, that wears away at a tiny patch of skin step by step, and minute by minute (even on level, easy ground) is what will cause festering blisters on your feet and cause you to have to stop and not be able to continue and keep up. It’s imperative to attend to and eliminate those small irritations to keep fit and able to meet the big ones.

    I understand your frustrated concern with the so frequent dilemmas of losing and forgetting. I wish I had some specific answers for you. I empathize with you having to deal with these matters. Just know we understand and you are not alone.
  9. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Thank you, Kalahou. I guess I worry more because we are grandparents raising teens. I don't have 40 more years to see them mature... Who will be her external brain when I can't? KSM
  10. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    My 14 year old boy is forever losing things. He is just a big ole puppy right now, he doesn't mean to be so goofy, I think it is a teen aged brain thing. Some kids are just a little more or less responsible than others. I am sorry you have to make a new key and maybe change the door locks, that can get expensive. If it's not one thing it is another.......deep breaths and plenty of sighs......
    Take care KSM, one day at a time......