BloodiedButUnbowed
Well-Known Member
I am in need of some insight and advice from you wonderful folks.
First a brief update. Life has been interesting to say the least. W and I seem to have weathered our current marital storm. Things are not perfect or ideal at this point but we have come to certain understandings that were long overdue and help me to feel better about the overall situation as it exists at this time. I still cannot predict what the future may hold but for now things are feeling much better. I'm grateful.
Things with both DS and YS have been status quo until very recently. "Status quo" for us means no contact on the part of either son. W texts them both, and neither respond. This is actually a welcome change because previously YS would aggressively berate W. And, in one of the last joint therapy sessions in which she participated, YS was posturing aggressively toward W - physically - and had to be reprimanded by the therapist.
This brings us to the latest development which frankly has the hair on the back of my neck standing up.
Recently YS was in some minor trouble at school. A meeting was called and W attended. This was W's first time seeing YS since the springtime months. At the meeting YS and W had some limited interaction which W reported as being neutral.
All the while W was sending texts, inviting YS out to eat, etc., and receiving no response as per the new normal.
Then suddenly, a couple of days ago, YS texted W and asked if we were still living in the same town we were in last year (we do not). W told him this information and asked him if he wanted to come over. She received no reply.
Then YS texted again to request our new address. W once again asked if he wanted to come over and once again received no response. Unfortunately, W did give him our new address.
It should be noted there has been no talk of reconciliation between YS and W, no outreach from his therapist in recent weeks, and no indication that YS' feelings toward my W were or are thawing. He has been very outspoken and clear in his hatred for her and his desire that she stay out of his life forever, and he has been consistent in this viewpoint for many months now. There have been no joint therapy sessions in months - W backed off after YS told her that he would simply discontinue therapy if she continued to invite herself to his sessions. And he still won't take her calls or answer her texts.
We are very concerned that YS, perhaps in conjunction with DS, is plotting something terrible. An attack or worse. Perpetrated by him/them, or perhaps someone hired or bribed to do so.
W and I are of like mind on this. She does not trust his motives and neither do I. They simply don't add up - to go from no contact (wrapped in extreme hatred and contempt), to suddenly wanting to know our home address, with NO in between steps and without any indication he intends to reconcile, is very alarming to us. I only wish W had this realization BEFORE she gave him our new address.
W reached out to YS' therapists at school and at home. The home therapist has not responded. The school therapist asked W if she feared for her safety and W replied that she did. The school therapist was supposed to talk with YS and contact my wife again before the end of the day. W is working late tonight and I have not received an update.
Are we overreacting? What would you all do in a similar situation?
First a brief update. Life has been interesting to say the least. W and I seem to have weathered our current marital storm. Things are not perfect or ideal at this point but we have come to certain understandings that were long overdue and help me to feel better about the overall situation as it exists at this time. I still cannot predict what the future may hold but for now things are feeling much better. I'm grateful.
Things with both DS and YS have been status quo until very recently. "Status quo" for us means no contact on the part of either son. W texts them both, and neither respond. This is actually a welcome change because previously YS would aggressively berate W. And, in one of the last joint therapy sessions in which she participated, YS was posturing aggressively toward W - physically - and had to be reprimanded by the therapist.
This brings us to the latest development which frankly has the hair on the back of my neck standing up.
Recently YS was in some minor trouble at school. A meeting was called and W attended. This was W's first time seeing YS since the springtime months. At the meeting YS and W had some limited interaction which W reported as being neutral.
All the while W was sending texts, inviting YS out to eat, etc., and receiving no response as per the new normal.
Then suddenly, a couple of days ago, YS texted W and asked if we were still living in the same town we were in last year (we do not). W told him this information and asked him if he wanted to come over. She received no reply.
Then YS texted again to request our new address. W once again asked if he wanted to come over and once again received no response. Unfortunately, W did give him our new address.
It should be noted there has been no talk of reconciliation between YS and W, no outreach from his therapist in recent weeks, and no indication that YS' feelings toward my W were or are thawing. He has been very outspoken and clear in his hatred for her and his desire that she stay out of his life forever, and he has been consistent in this viewpoint for many months now. There have been no joint therapy sessions in months - W backed off after YS told her that he would simply discontinue therapy if she continued to invite herself to his sessions. And he still won't take her calls or answer her texts.
We are very concerned that YS, perhaps in conjunction with DS, is plotting something terrible. An attack or worse. Perpetrated by him/them, or perhaps someone hired or bribed to do so.
W and I are of like mind on this. She does not trust his motives and neither do I. They simply don't add up - to go from no contact (wrapped in extreme hatred and contempt), to suddenly wanting to know our home address, with NO in between steps and without any indication he intends to reconcile, is very alarming to us. I only wish W had this realization BEFORE she gave him our new address.
W reached out to YS' therapists at school and at home. The home therapist has not responded. The school therapist asked W if she feared for her safety and W replied that she did. The school therapist was supposed to talk with YS and contact my wife again before the end of the day. W is working late tonight and I have not received an update.
Are we overreacting? What would you all do in a similar situation?