Dr. Phil today

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by witzend, Apr 26, 2013.

  1. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Well, there is a total difficult child (surprise) on Dr. Phil today. I have to say, I hardly ever watch him because I do think that he can be a bully. I'm trying to keep an open mind about this family, but Mom is treating "Callie" as though she's four (you shouldn't slam your bedroom door at me!) instead of 17 (take the door off? "pack a bag and leave, kiddo"). I'm going to watch for a bit to see if Dr. Phil doesn't get this wrong - again... He should tell these parents to get her out of their house.
     
  2. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    That. Was. Awesome!!!!

    That girl is a demon. I love the "professional transporter" - could've used him with my difficult child several times.
     
  3. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    We used one with M. It wasn't that expensive. M was just like this girl - he could be charming to others and a demon to us. The coy looks she gave Dr. Phil insinuating that she was the reasonable one in this situation were just CREEPY. I think that the transporter cost us $150 out of pocket, but we were only going across town. Of course, maybe if we'd brought him kicking and screaming into the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) they would have taken us seriously instead of siding with him and deciding to not contact anyone who actually knew or treated him.

    That girl sure had some nice clothes, and a phone they paid for, and money for drugs. Hmm... what could have gone wrong?
     
  4. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    She reminded me so much of the well dressed, spoiled suburban girls around where I live now who have mommy and daddy wrapped around their fingers.
    Did you see her face crack when Dr. Phil introduced the woman from the wilderness program? I really don't think she thought her parents had the guts to go through with it!
     
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I WANT MY MOM!

    I thought of so many of you guys when i listened to her. She really thought she was the boss. She thought she could talk her mom out of the decision for therapy

    "I'm going to just use a ton of drugs and overdose and then you'll feel bad!"

    Holy cow....such a toddler behavior with teen words and actions...

    I would love a follow up to her treatment at that place.
     
  6. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    I also had to laugh when she started screaming "I want my mom!". The only reason Callie wanted her mom is because she was sure she could talk her mom out of sending her to the wilderness program. That girl was one spoiled, twisted teenager. She definitely had total control of her house and her parents. I sure hope that Dr. Phil has a follow up show with this family.
     
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I have not seen this, but I cannot help but think my whole generation somehow lost their minds when it came to raising kids. Otherwise how did we get so many awful teens running around? there are HUGE differences between teens now and teens wehn we were or when our parents were. Technology is part of it, but the rest is just giving in way too often because we feel bad that we are not the Brady Bunch or Ozzie and Harriet. I see it in so many of the teens. So many of the parents think their kids 'have' to have a car, a phone, this or that brand of x or y, and they cannot be grounded from this or that team or group because it would punish the ohter kids. So their kids NEVER learn what no means or how to cope when they dont' get their way. One girl J used to really like could be just horrible. Her mom let her older sister totally abuse her with zero consequences and at one point six of the other girls sat the MOTHER down and told her to get off her tushie and start making the older daughter stop abusing the younger one or they would call DHS and report the abuse. Hte mom called me thinking J was behind it (she wasn't and wasn't taking part mostly because it was when she was really really bad healthwise) and was really unhappy when I pointed out the signs of abuse that her daughter showed. She claimed to have tried to stop it but she couldn't take things away because they had paid for htem or the girl got so mad. She stopped talking to me after I said "So what? make your daughter work off the ocst of the things you paid for." I was 'too mean'. but it seems that so many parents are creating monsters this way and I do not understand it. I never gave a dang if the coach was upset that my kid missed practice because she was grounded. Coach could give her extra laps - all part of the consequences for acting out. IT was not MY problem that coach was upset, but the coaches wanted to make ME regret it and not my child. does not compute with me, Know what I mean?? But the other parents are almost all buffaloed by this koi. At least around here.
     
  8. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    I always DVR Dr. Phil. I don't always like what he has to say to parents of difficult children, but often he's got them and their difficult children pegged. I somewhat sympathized with the parents because when you are in the middle of all the difficult child turmoil, it's hard to see beyond the tornado they bring into our homes. On the other hand, I was like "Wha??" when the parents claimed that difficult child just suddenly turned from sweet little compliant girl to a demon terror at 15 1/2. Is that possible? Of course. Probable? Absolutely not. Perhaps that is when the drug use started?

    Their difficult child also presents a well-behaved, controlled veneer to the outside world. If I remember correctly, she has a job, does well in school, and is extremely bright (as so many of our difficult children are). What I marveled at was her ability to coolly articulate what she believed the problems to be (her parents) at home and her accusations hurled at her mom, "What have you done???" Then, losing her composure completely when she realized the jig is up. I think the situation is going to changed profoundly when mom can not longer be manipulated. This is a child that has been running the show a long time.

    As one that has gotten into battles over cellphones, I felt a degree of sympathy with Mom. When my difficult children refused to hand over their phones, I simply contacted the carrier and had service suspended. Done. Daughter went for nearly a year without one. I try not to condemn too harshly because I know how complicated and exhausting these situations can be. I'm curious to know how she does at the wilderness camp.
     
  9. My difficult child is so much like that girl, except for some reason he has tested clean on the drug tests he's had. The bullying behaviour is a way for them to gain control over their parents. For me, difficult child would bully me when husband was not around and he towers over me and would use that to his advantage. Then he started bullying me right in front of husband - that didn't go over too well and the police had to be called - much like this difficult child on tv.

    My difficult child also changed drastically at about the same age as this girl. Prior to that he could be mouthy and it was difficult to get him to do chores but he wasn't too bad - mostly typical teen stuff. I honestly didn't know what hit me. I think it was a combination of spoiled entitlement along with the fact that he knew at 16 he could walk out the door and we couldn't stop him.

    Like this difficult child I don't think our difficult child thought we would ever kick him out. I think he thought he'd just bully us into submission and then he could come and go as he pleased and treat us however he felt. Didn't work out that way for him or this girl.

    I wish our laws were that we had control until my difficult child was 18 - I'd have sent him to Idaho or wherever in a heartbeat.... sigh, I hope those parents get some peace and some new skills for dealing with their daughter and I hope the daughter gets clean and learns some mature thinking and behaviour.
     
  10. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My difficult child sounds just like this girl. She truly was a sweet, well-behaved straight A student until she turned 14 so I believe the mom. That is the age when many mental illnesses start to manifest so that may be a component here. My difficult child also presented well to the world, got excellent grades, and held down a job while she was using drugs and terrorizing us at home.

    Many years later we are still dealing with mental illness and substance abuse. I hope that Dr. Phil can help this family while the difficult child is still young.

    ~Kathy
     
  11. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I agree in general, but not on "the rest is just giving in way too often".

    The biggest difference between "now" and "then" is... a lack of time and energy for parenting.
    Kids need to be "raised", not just given a safe environment to "grow up in".
    And "raising" kids takes effort. Huge effort. Generally, more effort than is available if both parents are working full time.
    So the kids are not being "raised"... and we now have a whole generation who doesn't even understand the concept.

    It's less about what saying "no" to our kids, and more about saying "no" to ourselves.
     
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