drug ..

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by disappointed mom, May 9, 2015.

  1. disappointed mom

    disappointed mom New Member

    I moved to United States 4 years ago. I have two daughters 21 and 25 and 4 months ago i found out that they are smoking pot and they don't want to see a counselor because they think that its not harmful and it would be legal next year and I don't know what to do
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi. You may want to post on parent emeritus which is for kids over 18.

    Legally there is nothing you can do about your daughters pot smoking. You can only set boundaries of ur own such as they have to leave if they smoke pot on your premises. If they arent supporting themselves make them grow up by also making that requirement plus rent to live in ur house.
    You can't control them but up do control ur boundaries in ur house. Your house your rules. They don't like it, they can leave.
    Cigarettes are legal but smoking is banned in our house. Our house is our castle. We decide the rules.
     
  3. disappointed mom

    disappointed mom New Member

    Hi dear
    Thank you to geting back to me.i hadbest daughters. They were honer studrnt,artistic..good workers.my problem started when they got boy friend and they are drugatic .i ke
     
  4. disappointed mom

    disappointed mom New Member

     
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Reading between the lines, your daughters were already out of high school when you brought them to a new country. Were they honor students in the old country? What have they done for the last four years? Is English their first language? Are they involved in social and cultural activities related to your country of origin?

    Immigration is a huge challenge, and doubly so for young people. They want friends. They want to fit in. And too often, immigrant kids are left on the sidelines - they don't really fit in with any of the established groups. The one group that will take ANYBODY is the druggie group - use drugs, and you're an insider. If they have a strong enough social network based on country/culture of origin, they might have a better chance at avoiding the drug culture.
     
  6. disappointed mom

    disappointed mom New Member

    She got her diploma here and english is her second language.she dosnt want to involve to cultural activities.I tried to live the best area to prevent them from drug and bad friends .but she found oneand it seems like it was enough.i send her to talk to concealer the problem is its not a big deal for her .she says EVERY BODY smokes and she also weed it not drug
     
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    She wants to fit in to HER perception of what "America" is.

    That doesn't make it accurate. But your perception may not be accurate either. (I had to learn this with my kids. They were wrong, but so was I) But it is not hard to understand them wanting to fit in so badly that they will throw away the values and morals you tried to teach them when they were young. They have found acceptance by "Americans".

    It's really REALLY tough to make it as a young adult immigrant, unless it was specifically the individual's choice to become an immigrant.
     
  8. Rina

    Rina Member

    We raised our children in many different countries, and they moved to the US at a later age. Their adjustment was hard too. They had trouble figuring out what was required to fit in, but eventually they seemed to manage. Your daughters are imitating the behavior of the group that's easiest to get accepted into - the "bad" kids. Unfortunately, kids don't snap out of it often unless they run into the consequences of their actions.
    Take care and good luck.
     
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