W
Wonderful Family
Guest
Its so nice to be able to ask nagging questions to people that will understand.
difficult child had a horrid weekend since he was sick (and yes, we "forgot" just how bad it used to be). Bad enough that easy child wanted to know if we needed to back to the way we used to do things (when difficult child was truly unstable and we had to protect easy child since he was so young).
easy child and I left to run an errand at one point this weekend and easy child proceeded to tell me that he has some really neat talents. Exact quote from easy child: "It's not math, reading, or sports (although I'm really good at those too!); it's making people happy. Mom, I just have an awesome talent for making people happy." (Of course, I couldn't cry when he said this).
A few minutes later he asked, "How come I cant make difficult child happy and love me again? easy child then spent the next 30 minutes walking through the grocery store trying to figure out just what makes difficult child so unhappy and why he couldn't help him (he went through a whole list, moving, not getting the toys he wanted, etc.). Unfortunately, easy child is extremely persistent and won't let go of an idea until he has a solution; but even he couldn't find one this time - he told me he just doesn't get it. Of course, all the other shoppers got to hear this discussion too; easy child does not know what an inside voice is and told me it was always important to discuss his feelings anyway
FWIW, easy child spends an inordinate amount of time worrying about difficult child; but is also very verbal in explaining his feelings when he gets away from difficult child for any period of time and can let down a bit. (A relief, nobody is yelling, he can relax, I don't have to worry, etc.).
easy child was even more verbal than he normally is about difficult child this weekend; but it's a running conversation we have several days a week anyway.
How do we explain difficult child in a way that easy child can start to comprehend and accept? How to teach him not to overcompensate for his brother?
husband says Ive nothing to worry about. But I grew up with a difficult child mother and sister; and know the damage they can inflict, which is why I think about it.
difficult child had a horrid weekend since he was sick (and yes, we "forgot" just how bad it used to be). Bad enough that easy child wanted to know if we needed to back to the way we used to do things (when difficult child was truly unstable and we had to protect easy child since he was so young).
easy child and I left to run an errand at one point this weekend and easy child proceeded to tell me that he has some really neat talents. Exact quote from easy child: "It's not math, reading, or sports (although I'm really good at those too!); it's making people happy. Mom, I just have an awesome talent for making people happy." (Of course, I couldn't cry when he said this).
A few minutes later he asked, "How come I cant make difficult child happy and love me again? easy child then spent the next 30 minutes walking through the grocery store trying to figure out just what makes difficult child so unhappy and why he couldn't help him (he went through a whole list, moving, not getting the toys he wanted, etc.). Unfortunately, easy child is extremely persistent and won't let go of an idea until he has a solution; but even he couldn't find one this time - he told me he just doesn't get it. Of course, all the other shoppers got to hear this discussion too; easy child does not know what an inside voice is and told me it was always important to discuss his feelings anyway
FWIW, easy child spends an inordinate amount of time worrying about difficult child; but is also very verbal in explaining his feelings when he gets away from difficult child for any period of time and can let down a bit. (A relief, nobody is yelling, he can relax, I don't have to worry, etc.).
easy child was even more verbal than he normally is about difficult child this weekend; but it's a running conversation we have several days a week anyway.
How do we explain difficult child in a way that easy child can start to comprehend and accept? How to teach him not to overcompensate for his brother?
husband says Ive nothing to worry about. But I grew up with a difficult child mother and sister; and know the damage they can inflict, which is why I think about it.