Ok, I wasnt going to bring up my grandpa again or much at least but, I need help. Went there to spend my nightly shift ( besides days to care for him off and on) and I heard him yelling my name looked in he was on the couch( hes blind and can barely walk and thats not his "spot") I did raise my voice "damn it you need to wear the life alert or hire someone.."( not the first time he was "lost"). I know I shouldn't of but between my kids, dad, sister, ex, no job,aunt, neighbors and just having another issue with son, my patience is thin. So, he kicked me out and then asked my son to help him and my son has helped him but was unsure if he could direct him from this location, he didnt want my grandpa to fall. So when he said he didnt know he got mad and kicked my son out too! I had to get a neighbor to help!
Before anyone says hes old and they get this way, I agree. But for everything financially he has helped with, I and the rest of my family gets put down,name called, guilt trips etc. My dad and Aunt says it was this way when they were little. He has praised me on occasion then comes with a put down in the same sentence or the next few days. He puts me on bad terms with the neighbors so Im this non working stupid low life who at times has a bright moment and helps him at times. Anyways, he cant feel his life alert button as he has no circulation in his hands and feet, but refuses to keep trying to find one that will work. I found a watch type but he doesnt want to pay...
So because Im not working I should be there all the time basically right? But when I did that I couldnt look for work, be with my kids. Sure my kids can be there with me but.. as I mentioned that doesnt work. So, how do I get over the guilt of not being there all the time? Am I doing enough for gpa or not enough? What would you all do? How do you get the strength to say no or know whats the right thing? I have enough trying to get my kids to school and handle them and hope for a job, we all handle things differently at different amounts right? Yes, Im questioning myself again :/
I dont mind helping him, other family... but I think I just have a lot going on and while others may be able to handle it all, I think I cant do as much. I feel torn, confused hurt, all the "why me's" with everything for everyone. I dont want to hurt anyone either. I want to help everyone but... Im not sure Im doing this right.. The guilt I have is just amazing...
Before anyone says hes old and they get this way, I agree. But for everything financially he has helped with, I and the rest of my family gets put down,name called, guilt trips etc. My dad and Aunt says it was this way when they were little. He has praised me on occasion then comes with a put down in the same sentence or the next few days. He puts me on bad terms with the neighbors so Im this non working stupid low life who at times has a bright moment and helps him at times. Anyways, he cant feel his life alert button as he has no circulation in his hands and feet, but refuses to keep trying to find one that will work. I found a watch type but he doesnt want to pay...
So because Im not working I should be there all the time basically right? But when I did that I couldnt look for work, be with my kids. Sure my kids can be there with me but.. as I mentioned that doesnt work. So, how do I get over the guilt of not being there all the time? Am I doing enough for gpa or not enough? What would you all do? How do you get the strength to say no or know whats the right thing? I have enough trying to get my kids to school and handle them and hope for a job, we all handle things differently at different amounts right? Yes, Im questioning myself again :/
I dont mind helping him, other family... but I think I just have a lot going on and while others may be able to handle it all, I think I cant do as much. I feel torn, confused hurt, all the "why me's" with everything for everyone. I dont want to hurt anyone either. I want to help everyone but... Im not sure Im doing this right.. The guilt I have is just amazing...