I have been reading books etc. on codependent and enabling. I wish I had access to them when I was raising my kids. A mother said her difficult child was working, paying rent on time, sounding like he was sober when he calls, trying hard as far as she can tell. difficult child calls the mother and says he is out of food and does not get paid for a few days, will she order him some food for him to pick up. She asked is this enabling and was told YES, difficult child needs to learn to find food for himself. I was very surprised, SHOCKED, then as it was discussed it did make more sense. I would have never dreamed this would be considered enabling! I guess I need to study more lol!!!! I would like to have a discussion on enabling if anyone is willing. I know it is doing for someone what they should, and are capable of, doing for themselves. But I would have ordered the food without hesitating.