Ever-hopeful I count it as progress...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by TheyAreLegallyAdultsNow, Nov 16, 2010.

  1. It appears difficult child-daughter is STARTING to realize her behaviors and choices since Aug 2009 MIGHT have SOME consequences.

    easy child said she got a "weird" call where difficult child-daughter was whining that NO-ONE contacts her and she doesn't understand why.
    (re: extended family-not us)

    easy child replied saying "it's a two way street you know... who do YOU call?"


    I keep trying to educate those who have "some contact" with both difficult child-s that a KEY SYMPTOM of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is the "cause and effect reasoning part of their brain" is usually under-developed and they just don't always "get" what should appear obvious.


    I tell them it is unloving to expect the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) s to figure it out on their own and/or pretend nothing ever happened.


    I explained to easy child that
    difficult child's cause/effect-reasoning part of the brain is delayed because of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)... BUT... As past history has evidenced... she EVENTUALLY "gets it" when she is consistently presented with the truth over and over again.

    easy child is (and others are) understandably uncomfortable "lovingly confronting our difficult child-s with truth."


    We are encouraged that difficult child-daughter is starting to notice something has changed.


    We remain hopeful.
     
  2. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Really good news.
    I noticed that with- our difficult child...she WOULD 'get' cause and effect reasoning if it came from multiple sources.
    If the SAME issue was worked on in the SAME WAY.
    So, I would talk with- her p doctor about a very specific issue and it would be worked on during the session and we would work on it and then to really hit a home run, I would ask her closest (and healthiest) friend to also work on this same issue.
    In fact, there is a technique in one of my text books that talks about doing this very thing....(can't recall the technical terms, etc.) But having a trusted friend in particular (TRUSTED is the key term here) who will say the very same thing (or in close enough language) for the person to hear...when heard repeatedly it sinks in and there is a better/clearer understanding of 'cause and effect'
    Your story is powerful and hopeful. Prayers/good thoughts.
     
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Hmmmm definitely hopeful.

    And I'm not experienced with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)................but I know this method was the only thing that worked with Nichole. She had to hear the same message from everyone in order for it to click and make sense in her brain. United front and no mixed messages got through to her.

    But it can be difficult for other family members to do, depending on personality ect.

    Good update!! I hope it continues. :D
     
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