Hi folks. Last time I posted, I think Peter Pan had been kicked out of one step-down program and was heading off to another, basically a sober house with a lot of added features (costing $$) for dual diagnosis guys. Terrific program. But he has been home for Xmas and it is clear that he is worse than when he went in. Part of this is a depression that resists everything thrown at it. Part is a personality disorder. Part is an addictive personality, not tied up with substances or alcohol (though it could turn into that) but with poker. After the first month, we agreed to pay for the second month reluctantly, but we had faith in the program. After the second month, they indicated he was ready to move to the second "phase" of the program, so we did the same. The evidence we were given of his functioning at a higher level was that he was getting up in the morning, participating in groups, and doing his chores. But in terms of his mood or attitude, there's zero change--still withdrawn, sullen, sleeping or staring at his computer, hostile toward family, claiming to be suicidal, refusing any responsibility for the course of his life. This second phase is meant to be a transitional phase, where the guys start a volunteer job and get themselves set up with schooling and/or with interviews for a paying job; then they move to "phase 3" and actually start living the lives they've set up. Well, Peter Pan has done none of that and is no way ready for phase 3, which is also where the costs of keeping in the program become (finally) reasonable. I don't see where he CAN be ready for phase 3 by the time classes start in late January. I suspect that the folks in the program--not because they're greedy, but because they want to think of themselves as doing some good--would be happy for us to pay another month--starting January 4--in Phase 2. But we've given it 3 months already, and if we burn the $$ like this, we'll have nothing left by the time he's actually ready for help. At the same time, he's on a very delicate cocktail of medications that he surely would not self-administer properly, and he really isn't functioning. So here's my gut instinct, which I would just like to share with folks on this forum in case you have any other ideas or cautions: I think I should tell the program people now that we don't see Peter Pan taking advantage of their excellent program and we don't think we should keep putting money into it. That would mean he's out of the program as of Jan. 4. Home is not an option, so I ask them whether they think he's safe to be discharged to a homeless shelter or whether they prefer to send him to the hospital. This gives them some time to talk through what, if anything, they think they can offer this stubborn young depressive; and it shows Peter Pan that we are serious, that his actions are having a consequence, without having it all come crashing down on the day when the next month's bill comes due. The hard part would come, of course, when they let him go, if they let him go to the street. But the alternative seems destined to suck down all our funds while Peter Pan treads water psychologically or even slowly drowns. Any thoughts or ideas? I am trying, for once, to think this through carefully ahead of time.