serenityprayer
New Member
Hi to all & Hugs to all!!!!!!!!
Ive tried hard not to hit this fork in the road...but here we are and I can not ignore it anymore. difficult child is doing better....the risperdal & depakote are surely stabilizing him and we are on the right track with his bipolar medications, etc. My problem lies with his karate class. He has been practicing karate now for a few years.....the last year he has not wanted to go anymore. He has giant tantrums before going to class and does not enjoy the competition.
His sensei (teacher) wants him to test for a higher level belt this Saturday...which is usually a very welcomed & excited/happy event for my difficult child. However, this last week he does not want to go to class again & the last couple days he says he does not want to test for the new belt, nor does he even want it. Yesterday my husband who is also bipolar, was having a stressful day...his mood was out of control...and he told difficult child he could quit karate and that he was done fighting him on it. I did not appreciate this due to the fact it was a very impulsive decision & I was not involved in it. This has been a struggle for about a year now.
Anyhow......difficult child and I had a talk this morn about it and he truly does not want to do it anymore. He says it makes his anxiety worse thinking he is going to get punched in the face and he has been sitting out in sparring. I am thinking the teacher asked him to test for his new belt in hopes of motivating him, but no matter how hard I try to get him to want to continue...he just doesn't want to. He says he wants to try other sports (weve tried basketball pre-stabilizing and he just screamed/cried & did not want to go but that was years ago). One of our main problems with-difficult child is his associated bipolar anxiety.
I am worried this will start a cycle of quitting that will last a lifetime if he quits karate. Then again, I wonder if I am just holding onto a dream that difficult child will be something he just is not. I think I will have to call his sensei and talk to him about it. Maybe if we quit and he decides he wants to return...he can go back...but I doubt difficult child will want to return. I think I may be wrestling with my own self on not wanting to let go of my dream that he will do well at something & stick with it. Maybe I am even more worrried about continued humiliation by my family who is very unsupportive of difficult child and our family. My parents & sister are very sports oriented & sister is very competitive, bragging to the extreme of her own kids in sports, etc..
I dont know what to do so I am praying about it and I thought I would come here where all of you truly understand how relevant these types of decisions are. However, maybe I dont need to sweat the small stuff and this is small stuff? I just want to make the right choices so he can succeed but it is very hard when I have a bipoalr husband making rash and impulsive decisions for me.......I feel like it is all a losing battle sometimes.
Do I let him quit & try something else...or Do I keep him doing it & fight the tantrums? I think I know the right answer but its just so depressing. 3 years of hard work down the drain. Judgement and gossip of me behind my back for allowing him to quit....rude comments from my family to come, etc. Sometimes its just too much to bare even though I have limited our time with them all. I wish I did not care what others thought....I am growing and working on this area of myself. Instead of trying to hide my weakness...I thought I would expose it and get others opinions too.
Thanks to you all.......I have the utmost respect & admiration for all of you who are fighting wayyyyyy harder battles then this!
God Bless U All!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ive tried hard not to hit this fork in the road...but here we are and I can not ignore it anymore. difficult child is doing better....the risperdal & depakote are surely stabilizing him and we are on the right track with his bipolar medications, etc. My problem lies with his karate class. He has been practicing karate now for a few years.....the last year he has not wanted to go anymore. He has giant tantrums before going to class and does not enjoy the competition.
His sensei (teacher) wants him to test for a higher level belt this Saturday...which is usually a very welcomed & excited/happy event for my difficult child. However, this last week he does not want to go to class again & the last couple days he says he does not want to test for the new belt, nor does he even want it. Yesterday my husband who is also bipolar, was having a stressful day...his mood was out of control...and he told difficult child he could quit karate and that he was done fighting him on it. I did not appreciate this due to the fact it was a very impulsive decision & I was not involved in it. This has been a struggle for about a year now.
Anyhow......difficult child and I had a talk this morn about it and he truly does not want to do it anymore. He says it makes his anxiety worse thinking he is going to get punched in the face and he has been sitting out in sparring. I am thinking the teacher asked him to test for his new belt in hopes of motivating him, but no matter how hard I try to get him to want to continue...he just doesn't want to. He says he wants to try other sports (weve tried basketball pre-stabilizing and he just screamed/cried & did not want to go but that was years ago). One of our main problems with-difficult child is his associated bipolar anxiety.
I am worried this will start a cycle of quitting that will last a lifetime if he quits karate. Then again, I wonder if I am just holding onto a dream that difficult child will be something he just is not. I think I will have to call his sensei and talk to him about it. Maybe if we quit and he decides he wants to return...he can go back...but I doubt difficult child will want to return. I think I may be wrestling with my own self on not wanting to let go of my dream that he will do well at something & stick with it. Maybe I am even more worrried about continued humiliation by my family who is very unsupportive of difficult child and our family. My parents & sister are very sports oriented & sister is very competitive, bragging to the extreme of her own kids in sports, etc..
I dont know what to do so I am praying about it and I thought I would come here where all of you truly understand how relevant these types of decisions are. However, maybe I dont need to sweat the small stuff and this is small stuff? I just want to make the right choices so he can succeed but it is very hard when I have a bipoalr husband making rash and impulsive decisions for me.......I feel like it is all a losing battle sometimes.
Do I let him quit & try something else...or Do I keep him doing it & fight the tantrums? I think I know the right answer but its just so depressing. 3 years of hard work down the drain. Judgement and gossip of me behind my back for allowing him to quit....rude comments from my family to come, etc. Sometimes its just too much to bare even though I have limited our time with them all. I wish I did not care what others thought....I am growing and working on this area of myself. Instead of trying to hide my weakness...I thought I would expose it and get others opinions too.
Thanks to you all.......I have the utmost respect & admiration for all of you who are fighting wayyyyyy harder battles then this!
God Bless U All!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!