Freaking out a little over difficult child

[gcvmom]

This is likely something that happened a year or more ago. Probably in middle school. That's when the behavior and emotional problems were at their peak, and when he was also on some medications that we now know were contributing to the problem. Ever since we got him off Elavil, Lexapro and even Strattera, his depression improved, his anger and hostility improved, his hypersexual behaviors improved, the stealing, the lying, all of it got better since he's been on the Remeron/Tegretol combo. I can actually tolerate him for short periods OFF his Daytrana patch, and before, it was nearly impossible to deal with him.

At any rate, the psychiatrist has been emailed with all the specifics of what we've learned today. And I'll be letting the therapist know when we go back in two weeks. Hopefully we can get the medical issues resolved by the first week of January.

My only fear now is about complications over removal of whatever this is. If it's adhered to the bladder wall then that will probably mean surgery, but I could be wrong. Amazingly enough, he has never complained of being in pain because of this, and it may have been in there for as long as two, maybe even three years. Which is about as long as he's been having "IBS" problems.

I feel pretty good about the future, though. He's doing much better right now than he has in a long time, and if there's now a fix for his medical issues, then there's a lot of hope for the immediate future.

And yeah, I'd love to run away for a while! But I opted for a few hours out with my BFF whom I haven't seen in many months. We had a great time catching up over coffee this afternoon at a mall. I've known her since I was about 9 or 10, and she's one of those people I can always pick right up where I left off with without missing a beat. Just before we said our good-byes, we found a photo booth and on a whim decided to take our picture together. We laughed so hard we cried and except for a few more wrinkles, we look like the same two goofy girls that met on the playground oh-so-many years ago and had an instant bond. Funny how a few hours with someone like that can be so good for the soul. So I'm o.k. right now.

 

[HaoZi]

It's so warming to hear that you got that great time with an old friend, and I hope things go smoothly getting his medical issue resolved.

 

[gcvmom]

therapist finally called me back after I'd left a desperate message when difficult child 1 wasn't cooperating about going on Wednesday. Took him long enough! Anyway, I brought him up to speed -- he was as shocked as the rest of you about the results. But he also said that he agrees this is not the same kid he's seen the past couple of weeks. And he reaffirmed my belief that difficult child 1 really needs to continuing seeing a therapist because of his tendency to just lock everything up inside himself. Takes after my late difficult child-dad in that respect.:2dissapointed:

 

[susiestar]

I am glad that therapist was able to get back to you. Tdocs and psychiatrists have an astoundingly busy time during the holidays. They have their own family stuff to handle plus they have many patients who go off the deep in about now which takes up even more time than usual.

 

[Shari]

Well, I'm glad you have an answer, but wow, wow, and, well, wow.

 

[Marguerite]

It's good to have some light at the end of the tunnel, and to also know it's not an oncoming train.

A soft plastic tube could sit in the bladder for some time and not cause too many problems. I've heard of some nastier things, I've seen some horrifying X-rays. Two of my sisters have worked in radiography and have told me of some of the weird things they've X-rayed inside some bloke's "old fella". I think the weirdest was a switchblade. Not the knife - just the blade. husband was with his army unit on flood relief years ago one summer, and before they got into the flood relief they were on tactical exercises in the soggy ground. Leeches everywhere. One poor bloke had a leech crawl up into the urethra. It got engorged and the poor guy had to be evacc'ed out with a total bladder obstruction due to engorged leech. husband was the radio operator who had to make the call.

If difficult child gives you a difficult time over this, remind him that you did not do this to him, and it has to be dealt with before it becomes a crisis. It might be OK now, but a bit of plastic in there (anywhere) can also move and suddenly start acting like a flap valve. Much better to get it out before it becomes an acute problem.

I hope he cooperates for you.

Marg

 

[tiredmommy]

{{{gcvmom}}}

Do you remember the board get-together in Cleveland? How everyone was talking about the various behaviors in their kids that led them here? Do you remember how the wait staff looked absolutely horrified when Janet spoke of Corey's obsessive "self-exploration"?

Sweetie, I think you may have a new ice breaker for the next get-together!

Seriously, though, I hope the tube is taken care of as quickly and painlessly as possible.

 

[gcvmom]

The shock is slowly starting to fade now, and I really am feeling hopeful because at this point, it seems like we've already gone through the worst of it -- the violence, the destruction of things at home, the lying, the stealing, the acting out, and the bathtub antics that we are now aware of. I feel bad that he had to go through all that and that we didn't realize how much the medications were a factor. I guess most people would still be completely flipped out over this, but because I understand what was going on at the time I'm not as surprised as say my inlaws would be (not that they'll ever be told a word of this).

difficult child 1 is taking this well. I think he's forgotton about it, or maybe blocked it? He says he vaguely has memory of doing something to himself, so that has to tell me it's been a couple of years since it happened. Can't believe he's never mentioned the fact that he often has pain when he urinates and frequent urge to go... Just another example of how he just buries stuff and doesn't deal with it. Sigh. Anyway, I told him that they could probably get it out with a scope, just that instead of his rear end it'll be the front end, and of course he'll be knocked out for it. I'm just taking an educated guess at this point. But the pediatrician urologist we're seeing specializes in non-invasive procedures, so I would bet that he probably won't need surgery.

I had to laugh today, though. I went to our new insurance carrier's website today (we start with them on 1/1) and for some strange reason they don't list foreign body removal as a urological procedure! Go figure?

 

[amazeofgrace]

Oh my! I am so sorry you're going through this with difficult child, sometimes I am actually thankful that difficult child's are "only" explosive and violent, poor kid, praying everything can be taken care of quickly and safely, do you at least have good insurance?

 

[Marguerite]

It's nowhere in the same category, but we had a problem with easy child 2/difficult child 2 and impacted earwax, back when she was 6 years old. We had two doctors we took her to - one was the local GP, but we could only get to see him on weekends, because her school was in the city. Or the doctor near the school. husband took her to the doctor near the school, because it was near his work. The doctor there was too nervous about syringing a little girl's ears and gave us eye drops to soften up the wax first. We used the ear drops for a week, then took her back to the doctor near the school. Careful syringing - no result. So next Saturday we took her to the local doctor. He was a bit older and more experienced, said, "I'll take a chance - I think I see a gap just over there, I'll aim the stream that way."
Eventually the kidney bowl received an earwax-coloured cylinder which turned out to be a mini-eraser from a propelling pencil! The other ear - same result. easy child 2/difficult child 2 had absolutely no idea how the erasers came to be in her ears. The yielding nature of the material meant that they had fitted snugly into her tiny ear canals, and also that attempts to syringe out had just caused the erasers to deform a little then spring back. And of course the ear drops had zero effect. The doctor said he would be dining out on that story!

The only way we can think of that the erasers got in her ears, was that maybe one day in class she stuck a propelling pencil in each ear and said, "Look at me! I'm a martian!"
However, she still insisted she hadn't done anything like that, either.

Mystery never solved.

I hope your difficult child's problems resolve once the foreign body is removed. And if he gives you a hard time, point out that there is no doubt that there is a foreign body there, and once it is known, it has to be removed. YOU didn't put it there. Who knows how it got there? But it is there and has to be taken out, before it causes even more trouble.

Foreign bodies in that end - I've heard some interesting stories. A neighbour we used to have worked as a pathologist and told us of some interesting things. He produced a research paper once that listed the range of foreign bodies removed from the lower GI tract of patients. He also told of one case he personally witnessed when he was attached to a local ER, of a man with a vibrating navel - a small vibrator (of the sort that should not be used that way, since it had no way to prevent it slipping all the way in) had got inside (the operator lost his grip, it seems) and, like an ear of barley inserted in your sleeve at the wrist stalk-first, had 'walked' its way up the descending colon and into the transverse colon. The patient must have got to the hospital fairly quickly because my friend reported that the navel was still vibrating, so the batteries had not gone flat.

I'll see if I can find a reference to that research paper, or something like it.

it is vitally important that you record as much of this experience as you can - you need blackmail information on him for later in life. Such stories can be trotted out for years (or you can threaten to).

My BFF's son's 21st birthday party was decorated, not with photos of the birthday boy, but X-rays from his many accidents. The fractured skull (from swinging on a rope over the river); the motorbike accident that put pins in his leg; the various studs, plates and pins in other parts of his body.

It's never a dull moment when you're a parent, but we always have the option of revenge later in life, for all the grey hairs they gave us!

Marg

 

[gcvmom]

Never a dull moment is RIGHT!

I am delighted this morning because the urologist's office called to book an earlier appointment on Thursday, but instead I asked and found out they have an opening for TODAY!!! So we're leaving in about 90 minutes. difficult child 1 is still asleep, so I need to go medicate now so he's functioning in time for us to leave, lol.

I'll post an update later on when we return this evening.

 

[Star*]

Just coming on to see this and WOW..........SENDING ALL MY GOOD VIBES TO YOU AND difficult child.........and I AM THUNDER CHICKEN!!!!!! coming to your casino lifestyle. BAGOCK!

 

[Estherfromjerusalem]

Waiting to hear results. Great that you got that appointment. Good luck!

Love, Esther

 

[HaoZi]

Hope everything comes out okay (puns intended).

 

[barneysmom]

Great news you got an appointment today. Awaiting your update.

Jo

 

[Mom2oddson]

Got my fingers crossed that everything goes well.

 

[gcvmom]

We met with the urologist (who I could tell was fairly shocked at this but trying hard not to show it). He asked me to start at the beginning and explain what happened so I went all the way back to 2006 with the Crohn's diagnosis, which was followed about a year or two later with all the "IBS" issues. I explained all the family drama, difficult child 1 drama, etc. And how I think this came to pass. difficult child 1 said he didn't really remember when he did it, but acknowledged that he did insert something, had only vague recollection of what it might be, etc. I think that satisfied the uro that this truly was a self-inflicted event and left me in the clear (pretty bad that a parent would be suspect but I can see where they have to cover their bases).

So he thinks this can be dealt with endoscopically, but there is a slight possibility that it may need to be done laparascopically, and a slightly more remote chance of open surgery. And as such, he has to book this for the O.R. for the just-in-case scenario, and since there are only so many time slots available, we are looking at 1/18 as the soonest possible, barring any cancellations, etc. Either way, difficult child 1 has to have a pre-op physical and urinalysis which they usually have done two weeks prior to surgery.

But I saved the really best part for last.

After we got home tonight, my mom came over to visit, and she tells me that her brother's 16yo stepson, who was with all of us Saturday for Christmas, is now suspected to have chickenpox. A little while later, said brother calls her to say that they took the stepson to the doctor today and they're pretty certain it's chickenpox (he probably caught it from my uncle because he just got over having shingles).

And the reason this is such a big deal for us is because difficult child 1 has NO IMMUNITY to chickenpox (we had his titer checked in '06) and he is taking an immunosupressant because of his Crohn's. If he contracts it, he may need to be hospitalized, it's that serious. Soooo, I just fired off an email to his GI asking what to do at this point.

I swear, I do NOT want to know what could possibly happen next. I think we've about exhausted all that I could ever have imagined.

 

[gcvmom]

The GI emailed back to say she'll have him start on acyclovir (Zovirax) for 5 days. It's an antiviral that limits the disease progression, so the sooner he starts it, the better.

My mom is still acting like maybe it's not chickenpox since they don't have the bloodwork results back until tomorrow, but the fact that my uncle is recovering from shingles, and this kid broke out in the lesions yesterday -- I mean, c'mon, it HAS to be that! What are the odds it's not?! in my opinion it would be better to start the antiviral than to risk waiting. The stepson was not not born here either, and he's only been living here about three years. It's quite possible they don't vaccinate for it in his native country like they do here.

 

[Marguerite]

Where was stepson born? Even if they do immunise where he comes form, kids can still get sick from things they have been immunised against. A young friend of mine has whooping cough (right before Christmas) and I know she was immunised. She's 12 yo, there's no reason for her immunity to be down.

So sometimes it just happens.

I do agree - starting the acyclovir under the circumstances is a good idea. The sooner the better.

Marg

 

[gcvmom]

He's from Thailand. They may immunize for it now, but might not have when he was younger (he was born in '94). And he lived without his mom from at least 2004-07 before coming to live here, so who knows if anyone was paying attention to that sort of thing at the time.

For some reason, I thought the treatment for people taking drugs like azathioprine/Imuran was immunoglobulin shots or something like VariZIG... I guess we'll find out more in the morning when everybody's back in the office. What I understand about acyclovir is that it's used to limit the course of someone who's already begun to show signs of the disease, and in difficult child 1's case it's too soon for that to happen since it's only been a little over 48 hours now.