A
alwaysstressed
Guest
hi all , have been reading threads for ages and getting some support just from knowing that I am not the only parent dealing with this out there. Now is the time to write... Find it difficult to use the term difficult child as I just dont get it or feel it but will for the purpose of knowing whom I'm talking about.
my difficult child is 9 and we are still nowhere nearer to getting any diagnosis here in the UK than when we were 4 years ago when we first asked for a referral. My son is fine at school and manages himself quite well but it's almost as if he saves up any frustrations for home time and then unleashes it on us.
He is argumentative , has no respect or little for us, he is easily angered , half the time we feel as if we are treading on eggshells and our whole life revolves around trying to manage him and deal with his explosive meltdowns. I like to think we are good and kind parents but lately I hardly recognise myself and pretty much try and grab time to be away from him as when I am with him most of the time I am full of anxiety and a constant churning in my stomach.
Our families do not recognise anything is wrong and think we need to be stricter, firmer etc. This does not help. we have tried so hard with structure and boundaries and rewards and consequences. We have looked at diet and activities. But there seems to be no pattern other than if he dont want it then it aint happening. i have been sworn at , kicked and told to die. If he is angry or upset with a friend or a teacher he talks in terms of revenge. i am soo frightened for the future. when he was born it was the happiest day of my life, my partner is much older than me and pretty much made it clear he only wanted the one child. I was sad initially with this and really wanted another for the first few years... Now having experienced this I would sooner cut off my arm than have another!
I am sorry if I sound negative and I used to be such a positive bright person ... We have been told by the so called experts that he is quirky and suffers from anxiety and that's it. We have just returned to our doctor to ask him to re refer us as after a couple of more years things are just getting worse and he is getting bigger... I find this condition unbearable really......
my difficult child is 9 and we are still nowhere nearer to getting any diagnosis here in the UK than when we were 4 years ago when we first asked for a referral. My son is fine at school and manages himself quite well but it's almost as if he saves up any frustrations for home time and then unleashes it on us.
He is argumentative , has no respect or little for us, he is easily angered , half the time we feel as if we are treading on eggshells and our whole life revolves around trying to manage him and deal with his explosive meltdowns. I like to think we are good and kind parents but lately I hardly recognise myself and pretty much try and grab time to be away from him as when I am with him most of the time I am full of anxiety and a constant churning in my stomach.
Our families do not recognise anything is wrong and think we need to be stricter, firmer etc. This does not help. we have tried so hard with structure and boundaries and rewards and consequences. We have looked at diet and activities. But there seems to be no pattern other than if he dont want it then it aint happening. i have been sworn at , kicked and told to die. If he is angry or upset with a friend or a teacher he talks in terms of revenge. i am soo frightened for the future. when he was born it was the happiest day of my life, my partner is much older than me and pretty much made it clear he only wanted the one child. I was sad initially with this and really wanted another for the first few years... Now having experienced this I would sooner cut off my arm than have another!
I am sorry if I sound negative and I used to be such a positive bright person ... We have been told by the so called experts that he is quirky and suffers from anxiety and that's it. We have just returned to our doctor to ask him to re refer us as after a couple of more years things are just getting worse and he is getting bigger... I find this condition unbearable really......