Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Nomad, Apr 22, 2008.

  1. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    husband and I spent the entire day in the ER with difficult child yesterday.
    She called first thing in am complaining of a bad pain in her right side. I told her to go to the local GP. She took the bus there, I dropped off a copay check and went out.
    One hour later, the doctor sent her to the ER saying it might be her appendix.

    At first things moved quickly there and difficult child was appropriate when getting attention and help. But then an ambulance came, and things got bogged down terribly. difficult child was hungry and was complaining left and right that she wanted a sandwhich and a cigarette....this was after they gave her some pain medication. I told her repeatedly that she needed to be respectful of the people in great pain and quiet herself. This only slowed her down a little. Eventually, husband yelled and her and she improved.

    They took many xrays, a urine sample and blood work and found nothing. We went home late in the evening. I'm exhausted.

    1. Would it have been appropriate to yell at her at the onset when she started complaining about needing food and a sandwhich loudly in the ER? What about leaving her there? husband says if we had threated to leave, she would have simply followed and if she really did have appendicitis, she may have died.
    2. If she continues to complain of side pain, should I take her to another Dr. or let it go? Should I see if she complains for an extended period of time before I proceed?
    3. difficult child has gained a lot of weight. She is very large now. Can excessive weight cause a person to have this type of pain?
  2. Star*

    Star* call 911


    I would take her to a GP, and see if he can feel an ovarian cyst. Your daughters symptoms sound like a lot of things - but maybe she could get a referral for an OBGYN.

    As far as "I want a sandwhich." "I want a cigarette!" I would have and have done the same thing as husband did. In my opinion if you are in a hospital - you are sick. You are SO sick you need immediate attention. That does not include a sandwhich and a cigarette. I understand that the pain medications were working, but what were the pain medications working on? What did they diagnosis her with for an order of pain killers?

    They sent her home so apparently they either found nothing upon exam or would have recommended her to a specialist.

    I say this because when Dude was 6 - he destroyed the ER waiting room while we waited for a psychiatrist because I had just thrown him in the car and left without money. He destroyed the room over a .35 cent package of crackers and a drink that he wanted but I had no money. When the nurses saw that? I got some immediate help. But he was 6. Since then we've had several trips to the hospital and when he started acting up, I got up and walked out and said - If you're well enough to complain - we don't need to be here, we'll see a doctor tomorrow. Because NO ONE else in here wants to hear your mouth.

    Oddly enough - after 2 or 3 times of that? I can tell you that Dude WILL behave in an ER. I think it's nasty to have a drink and snack machine in there anyway - all those germs of sick people on the arm rests and the machine itself - and in the air and you want to sip a Sprite and have a burger? Blech.

    I'm the little odd ball wiping our chairs down with Lysol wipes and spraying with pocket sized disenfectant and touching NOTHING.....ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

    Reminds me of another time - I went with a debilitating migraine so bad I was in stroke range and not able to walk or talk. The woman next to me had been brought in by AMBULANCE and had a subway sandwhich in her lap - they determined that if she could eat she could wait - so she unrolled this putrid smelling, wrapper crinkinling paper and talked, laughed, talked on her phone - ate.....and Finally I held my head and asked her if she could move - the sandwhich was making my migraine worse - and I got a nasty look and ignored. Until about 3 minutes later when I threw up in her direction. That moved her. I never apologized either - because I WAS sick.

    Hope your daughter gets well soon. I would check on cysts sounds like my friends daughter. Could be an ulcer too - could be a pulled muscle - and COULD be (I learned this here) impacted bowels.

    Hugs for the bad night -
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I would have them do an abdominal Xray AND an ultrasound of her ovaries and uterus. We only found out about Jessie's impacted bowel after MULTIPLE doctor visits and much insistence on my part.

    I do agree with Star though that if she wants a cig and a snack, she could wait for a doctor appointment. I am another person with the spray disinfectant and touching NOTHING!!

    I am sorry she hurts though. And that you had a rough day with her in the ER.

  4. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I'm one of those who had a few appendicitis scares when I was younger. It wasn't my appendix. It wasn't ovarian cysts. What it was was the egg leaving the ovary. For me, this was doubling over, on the verge of passing out pain.

    Did anyone explain to your daughter that she could not eat in case it was her appendix? Surgeons will do their stuff in an extreme emergency if someone has eaten but it definitely increases the risk factors -- both of choking under the anesthesia and the risk of infection in the abdomen.

    As to the smoking, your daughter has my sympathy on that one. Honestly, I've sat in ERs as a patient and have in fact gone outside to smoke. Yes, I was sick. Not dying, but sick. It harmed no one but me to go out and have the cigarette. I always checked with the clerk to make sure I wasn't next on the list to be called. Heck, I'd do the same thing when I had to go to the bathroom. I really hated missing seeing the nurse and/or doctor. So, if she needed a cigarette that badly, was there really any reason she couldn't have one or did the hospital prohibit smoking anywhere on its grounds? Sorry, I understand the food issue, but not the smoking issue.

    We aren't always rational when ill. When we're little we get our blankies and stuffies when we're sick. As adults, our blankies and stuffies are our families holding our hand, our pets, our food, our ciggies. I understand your frustration but your daughter has my sympathies.
  5. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    MANY thanks Star and Susiestar
    MB...Just saw your post. Yep, at once point difficult child ran outside and had a quick cig. She says it calms her. No, the doctor did not explain about eating and the possibility of surgery, etc. This made things worsse. When we explained this, it helped a tiny bit...(not much).

    Couple of things...

    I'll be honest...I was really surprised the local doctor sent her to the ER. husband even checked! He was sure it was her appendix!
    That is why husband and I took it seriously. Honestly, this hospital was wonderful. There are few "wonderful" hospitals left in my area. It has been our experience that they are overcrowded and staff are overworked, jaded, disgruntled and sometimes downright meanspirited. These folks were really top notch. They checked for impacted bowel and even took a look at her ovaries (good calls!) Not sure they looked at the uterus. I'm thinking of calling the obgyn and the psychiatrist.

    Also...does anyone remember that she was suppose to have a tonsillectomy but it was cancelled because she couldn't get clearance from the p-doctor? In addiciton, the ENT wanted her to either quit or at least cut back on smoking first? I'm wondering, could she have some sort of really bad stomach pains from sinus problems? What about from her medications? A comination of both?

    Today, she says she feels a little better. I do wonder if she could misjudge where the pain is coming from and/or exaggerate the pain. I do believe she is having some discomfort.

    by the one point the nurse was so (can't think of the right word here) by difficult child, that he gave her a "little shot" to calm her down. It only held her for 15 minutes.

    I was dismayed that this morning I was so "out" of it. I tried soooo hard to bounce back into my routine, but was emotionally and physically drained. Lots of fatigue.

    I spoke with a good friend, and she said that it is normal to need a little "recuperation" period after almost all difficult child "moments." By 1:00 I was back in action. I think that is a thought I will key in on "allowing for at least a brief recuperation period..."

    This stuff and its endless sometimes really gets to me. Thank you very much for listening, the ideas, etc. It helps.
  6. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Gosh, it could be so many things. It could be gall stones, or pancrease - it could be ovarian cysts - it could be gas. You just never know.

    What medications is she on, and how old is she? Did they do a sonogram of her pelvic area?

    So sorry you had to go through all of that. I would be exhausted too!

    A cigarette!!! Please! Unfortunately I know one too many smokers that probably would have said the same thing.
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Nomad -

    I don't think it's possible to have tonsilitis show up in your abdomen, but stranger things have happened. If they (hospital) did NOT do an ovarian ultrasound - (just like a female exam, but with a wand & camera) I would say the OBGYN is a good place to start.

    I never knew until this post and MB's admission that there was anyone else on earth that had painful egg "whatevers" and I mean bend me over, make me barf, can feel it all the time. Laughing - I have PMS for 1 week, that time for 2 weeks and by the 3rd week I'm cramping up again and in pain waiting for PMS to come and make me happy! And all the exams in the world will not grant me a hyst. loverly.

    It seems to me too that at one time we had a gymnast (Ephchaps) daughter - my flipper....that had pulled a muscle and had intense pain like your daughter described.

    And not being a smoker now - I will agree that cigarettes calm you down. It's scientifically proven. It's also proven they are bad for you. (had to get my no smoking plug in MB sorry)

    Nomad - you know your friend is right. The fall out from an all day difficult child event is so tiring. Thursday Dude goes to court - he has no money, has not done anything when given opportunity to earn money - and this time? I'm not going. One day with him takes me literally 1 day to recover. I'm physically and mentally exhausted. So take care of you!!

    Sounds like husband is taking care of some things too!!! lol. Gotta love a Dad when he's had enough - and they LISTEN. Good going Nomad husband!!!

  8. MyFriendKita

    MyFriendKita Member

    I just wanted to add-it could still be her appendix. husband had right side pain several years ago, and when he went to the doctor, they were almost 100% sure he had appendicitis. He wouldn't let them take any blood to get a white cell count (he's a difficult child in his own way), so they sent him home and told him to call if the pain got any worse. They also made him an appointment. for the next day. By the next day, the pain was gone. The doctor told husband she was surprised he hadn't called during the night-she was sure he had appendicitis and would need surgery. The pain didn't come back until about a year later-and then he did end up having to have his appendix taken out.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I agree with rm1976. I had chronic appendix pain throughout my childhood. Even when to ER via ambulance once. Finally had the smarts to have an internist remove the darn thing along with the gallbladder he was already taking out.

    It can also be the painful ovulation. And my medication terminology instructor is spinning in her grave because I can't recall the name of it. Not enough coffee yet I guess. lol This can be terribly painful.

    My first thought was the ovarian cyst. Can mimick both kidney stone or appendix if it's on the right side. I've had stones caught in my ureter and believe me when I say the pain with a cyst can be just as excruciating. Fooled both me and the doctor twice.

    I don't get the food demand. But I can understand the smoking thing. However, if I was in alot of pain I doubt I'd want to be going outside to smoke. Ok. I take that back. lol Came out of kidney surgery and went outside against doctor orders to smoke because stupid staff refused to follow his orders and let me smoke in the room. (so maybe I would, it depends)

    I'd start with the OBGYN.

    Your friend is right. It takes time to wind down from difficult child sessions.

  10. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    What it was was the egg leaving the ovary. For me, this was doubling over, on the verge of passing out pain.

    I've had this happen twice in my life. First time I went to the ER. I thought my appendix was rupturing. Second time I just waited it out. It is VERY painful. doctor told me it is an egg that bursts instead of doing the normal flow.

  11. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My oldest's first symptons of Crohn's disease were right side abdominal pain. That being said, that pain can be SO many different things.

    You have my sympathies with a cranky (to put it mildly) difficult child in the ER. Been there done that more times than I can count. With Oldest many times I simply went out to the waiting room and told the nurses to call me when the doctor got there. I'm afraid I've become quite hard in my stance on the issue now.. Oldest has disobeyed doctors orders SO many times, has sabotaged her own health and thrown screaming, raging tantrums in ERs and recovery rooms (one GI doctor even discharged her from his practice and refused to deal with her), that I have very little sympathy any more. If she walks out Against Medical Advice and she worsens, it will be on her and no one else.

    Getting her to a GYN is good advice, that would be my next move if I were you. If not there, then perhaps a GI referral.