Grandmother needs help

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by whatdoidowiththischild, Nov 5, 2008.

  1. whatdoidowiththischild

    whatdoidowiththischild troubled grandmother

    I am the grandmother of a 3.5 year old boy. He has a problem with hitting
    and pushing other children. He is also extremely difficult to control and often will not follow directions.

    His parents at first believed his behavior was "normal boy stuff" but now
    are working hard to handle him. It is up to them to seek evaluation and I believe they will if these behaviors continue.

    My problem is I do not feel comfortable being with him (without his parents) because I am not sure I can keep him safe. I have dealt with many children and raised several and have never had such a problem. Is there a resource for me?

    Thank you.
     
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Grandmother,

    Couple things. First, I'm glad you found that site for support - it may be something you can pass along to the little guy's parents! Second, I don't believe you should be doing anything you feel uncomfortable with regarding your grandson. Are you a care provider for him while his parents work? I would not put yourself or others in harms way if you feel you cannot handle your grandson.

    I don't know about resources available to you, other than helping his parents get their son a full evaluation and then "treating" the diagnosis. Once you, and his parents, know what they are dealing with, you can begin to move forward.

    In the meantime, I would suggest the book, The Explosive Child, by Ross Greene. We suggest it to most of the new members here. Check out your local library, or you can order it through the Amazon link on this site.

    What kind of relationship do you have with the parents? Can you sit down calmly and quietly with your son or daughter and let them know that you do not feel comfortable being alone with your grandson? Can you ask them to take a look on this site?

    Everyone has to come to a place where they are willing to ask for help or seek professional advice on their own. At this point, they may feel that they can handle it and they can make a difference. Time will tell. I think the most important thing is that you are honest with his parents about your concern of keeping him safe. They need to know they cannot depend on you to be with their son alone. Tough conversation, I'm sure. It's apparent you love your grandson, they will see that too.

    Sharon
     
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member

    I just wanted to jump in to say that I think it's great that you care so very much that you sought us out. Yet as it was stated maybe you could pass this website info onto the parents as well to assist them.

    I agree though, you shouldn't be doing anything you arent' comfortable with. I was wondering also are you taking care of him while parents work? Also, did you share with his parents how you are feeling??

    Welcome, I forgot to say that :)
     
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