Hate it :(

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by JKF, May 7, 2013.

  1. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    This is such a hard time of year for me. My mom passed away suddenly in her sleep 8 years ago on May 12th and this year Mother's Day also falls on that exact date. Some people say that time heals all wounds but that's a wound that will stay fresh for the rest of my life.

    I'm going to try to enjoy the day but it will be hard. We are allowing difficult child to come here for brunch so I'm stressed about that as well. Not only do I get to to deal with missing my mom but I get to be reminded that I failed as a mother as well. Yay! Gotta love it! :(
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Just because your kid was a failure of a kid doesn't make you a failure as a mother...
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator


    I lost my father a few weeks before Father's Day so I understand how her sudden death taints the whole day. You are not alone in this. My solution is to keep the day and its events in perspective.

    And, if you're a failure then so am I. We can be failures together.
  4. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    My dad died on Christmas it's rough because we were failures at that relationship.
  5. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    JFK if all us here judged our mothering by our kids, we would all be failures!!! Instead, we're just weary women doing the best we can under extraordinary circumstances...........your sorrow about your Mom is real, your judgment about yourself is not (so take that out of the mix)......... bring the spirit of your mom to your day on Sunday, all the wonderful attributes about her that you loved......... and enjoy the day through the eyes of her love for you............hugs............
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hope your day goes smoothly...hugs.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im so sorry about your mom. My mom died right after Thanksgiving in O5 and my Dad died on 12/2/10 just 5 years later. It makes it even a bit harder for me because he was buried on Pearl Harbor Day and he was a Marine who served in WWII. My parents tended to always do things fairly close together in life though. Their birthdays were March 3rd and 4th exactly 2 years apart!
  8. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    Thanks everyone. I'm so sorry for of your losses too. It's horrible to lose someone you love. I miss my mom SO much. She was truly my best friend and it really sucks not to have her here anymore. And having the anniversary of her death fall on Mother's Day definitely makes it worse than ever for me this year.

    I think if it's nice out Sunday I'm going to plant some lilac bushes at home. She loved lilacs. That might be a good way for me to keep myself distracted AND celebrate her all at the same time. The boys can help too. That will hopefully keep them busy and out of trouble.

    As a Mother's Day gift to myself I'm taking Monday off from work and spending the day alone. I figure after the stress of the "anniversary" and having to deal with the kids on Sunday that's more than fair! So looking forward to it!