Have you noticed it's the little things...

[flutterby]

...that make you absolutely lose your mind?

We can deal with rages, we can deal with meltdown, we can deal with objects whizzing past us, we can deal with property damage, name calling, cursing, and panic attacks - or we at least pretend to - but the little things???

Those little things are driving me insane. Like....difficult child cannot turn off a light. Ever. But, if I'm watching tv and get up to do something in the kitchen and get distracted, difficult child walks in and says, "Why is the tv on?!" Or (like just now while typing this), "MOM!" "What?" "You didn't put the pillow back up behind the entertainment system." (In the spare room where the rats play.) "difficult child, I was back there unhooking the modem and router, and all associated cables for YOU. They're your rats. It's your responsibility to put it back up." "Well, I didn't think about it." "Well, neither did I." Yet, it is still my fault. Then, to continue, "Now Jynx is back there." "He'll come out all on his own." "No, he won't. He'll start to and as soon as I reach for him, he'll run back in." "difficult child if you sit there *patiently* and wait for him to come out, he will." ARGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I was also interrupted yesterday so I could capture Jynx from behind there because "he won't come out and he'll stay back there forever", and all I did was sit there patiently and wait for him to come out. It took all of 2 minutes. I pick him up, put him away from the entertainment system, then proceed to take allergy medications because just picking him up made me break out in hives.

Or, 5 minutes before I typed this: "When are you going to call difficult child 2?" "Not tonight." "Well, when?" "When I have the energy to deal with him." "Well, this needs to be done." "difficult child, he has agreed to come do this for us 5 times and he hasn't shown. I don't feel like trying to nail him down again tonight." "Well, someone needs to make him." "Let me know how that works out for you." STOMP. STOMP. STOMP.

"Mom, you left your soda can in the living room." "difficult child, you have half of my dishes (and I have 3 sets) in your room."



Elephants come barging in big and loud, then they leave. Those ants come in and keep coming, and stay. The ants will get you every time, not the elephants. I wonder if ant repellant will help. She'd probably get mad if I tried to spray her with it.

 

[KTMom91]

We must be living in the same house...except I have cats, not rats...

 

[InsaneCdn]

Don't remember who said it, but...

"It isn't the mountain ahead of you that wears you down so much as the grain of sand in your shoe."

How can K1 actually put his snack dishes in the dishwasher, but leave the wrapper on the table... and the garbage can is beside dishwasher...??? Or the socks that don't make it into the laundry hamper...

Maybe, deep down inside, we expect our difficult children to understand how much we're doing for them, and actually appreciate it by making life a little bit easier for us... and in reality, even "normal" kids don't get it until about 10-15 years later... when they have kids of their own.

In fact, maybe part of what bugs us is that so many of these stupid little things are, in fact, "normal" - and we're just not equiped to deal with "normal"??

 

[Wiped Out]

Heather,
So true!! It is amazing how those ants bother us more than the elephants!

 

[susiestar]

I know exactly what you mean. When I got married a well meaning older friend told me that it won't be the big issues that break a marriage up - it is leaving the cap off the toothpaste or the toilet seat up. Our first HUGE fight after we were married happened the night I went to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, sat my hugely pregnant tushie down and there was no seat - and I got STUCK. I had to scream for five minutes to get husband up!!!!! NOW we laugh about it - but right then I wanted to kill him and raise my baby as an orphan.

Personally, your difficult child would hear an earful each time she fussed at ME for leaving a light or the tv on. Each time I would pull out a LIST of times that she left thigns on - and would be told that when SHE pays the bills for ME she can THINK about telling me what to do or complaining about what I do. Until then she had better shut her mouth or it would be generic non organic everything and there would be NO fun things or treats until she started behaving that way. And I would do it with-o a seconds hesistation. As for the dishes and you leaving a can int he other room? Learn to develop Hound's "Excuuuuuuse Me? I did NOT hear you just say that!" (See shari's thread about husband problem/question for more on this.)

There is NO reason for you to let her treat you like this. STOP going in to get her rat if it makes you break out in hives. Hives are terribly uncomfortable and they do awful things to your body. Having them over and over is something that you NEED to do all you can to avoid. So if she cannot do what is needed for them, then they need to go live with another family and she can visit them. ANY allergist or immunologist will tell you to get them out of your house ASAP. Not doing it is a choice and as parents sometimes we make choices like this. But you do have to stop touching them. If nothing else, get disposable gloves and wear them when you must go and touch the rats and their possessions. Also get some of those paper masks and wear those wehn you are in their room. This will likely improve your health and increase the good days that you have, at least by a little. NOT doing this, and getting hives often, will tear your body up before much longer. I don't think you or difficult child will handle that well.

As for getting difficult child 2 over to do something that difficult child wants? It is high time for her to learn how to call him and ask. he may or may not show up, but if he doesn't then she needs to call about that also. At her age she has to learn how to cope with the world if you want her to have a chance as an adult, Know what I mean??

It may be mean, but sometimes we need to learn to become the ant to our children to get them to do what they should and treat us with the respect we are owed. Ants are SOOOOOOOOOOO much more of a problem than elephants.