Help, I'm surrounded by difficult child's !!!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by 1 Day At a Time, Oct 19, 2007.

  1. I'm open to suggestions from those of you who deal with the day to day teenage difficult child testing of limits.... because I see this issue that way.

    We were involved in our usual morning chaos trying to get difficult child off to school today when I get a call from my secretary. (We're talking real early here:))

    She takes the subway to work and I understand the issues because I often take it as well. The problem is that trains sometimes are delayed or too full and it's hard to predict work arrival. Her contention is this: she leaves for the station at the same time every day. Ok, I'm with her here. .. But she gets to work at different times... Ok, I get it, DTBT.

    Here's where she loses me. I think we are incredibly flexible at our job. If you come in late, you can work late. You can also choose an 8, 9, or 10 hour day. With the 9 hour day, you get a "flex day" off every other week. With the 10 hour day, you get a "flex day" off every week. My secretary has chosen the 9 hour day. Our work hours are flexible - anytime between 7:00AM to 6:00PM. My secretary has committed to a 7AM to 4PM schedule. (This can be changed if she chooses). She arrived at work at 6:30AM this morning - and no one is there, because we don't open until 7:00AM. A 6:30AM arrival is not an option for scheduled choice. She wants to get off at 3:30 because she came at 6:30AM... She got furious with me because I said it was ok to do this today, but it can't become usual practice. In my mind, if she gets to work a little early and she begrudes giving us those extra minutes of work, she can just "chill" until start time.

    It struck me after speaking with her for a few minutes that this is "difficult child style" of thinking. Her belief is , it's not her fault that the train times vary - so we should accomodate her times at work. I believe this is just part of the grown up attitude of doing what it takes to get to work on time.

    Am I being silly? I'm interested in some feedback from folks who are not involved!
     
  2. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    I think you are being generous to let her leave at 3:30 today.

    Then again, I was a mean old boss who offered her data entry people the chance to work extra hours during the week in order to stay home when the computer was down one day but didn't let the secretary take advantage of this. My reasoning was the secretary had things to do whether the computer was up or not while the others didn't.

    If you allow her this option, what's to stop everyone from doing this? Or what if she gets there at 6:00? If she's your secretary, doesn't she generally need to be there when you are? Not before you are even open.
     
  3. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Well my opinion and it is just that is if the earliest start tiem is 7 then that is the earliest she can start. Period. It seems to me that your company is pretty flexible as it is. If she can't handle it hmm maybe she ought to look elsewhere and she will discover that most places are NOT that flexible.

    She sounds incredibly gfgish. The world does not revolve around what she wants. The business revolves around when its hours are and she needs to work in that timeframe or be on her way.

    JMHO.

    Beth
     
  4. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    You are being perfectly reasonable. Above and beyond, actually.
     
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with the others.

    Just an example. One time when I was working I had a car accident that totaled out my car. While waiting for all the insurance stuff to go through so I could get another car (the other persons insurance wouldnt pay for me to get a rental) I had to find alternate methods of getting to work. The only method available to me was to get dropped off by husband between 5:30 and 6am every morning!

    Now this building didnt even open until 7am when the maintenance staff got there. I worked for a county agency. My job didnt start till 8. They couldnt have cared less that I was there at 6! My job hours were from 8-5 and that is what I was paid for. It didnt matter that I was let in the building at 7 and I stayed until they closed the building at 6 and then sat outside again waiting for husband to come get me.

    Thankfully this didnt last too awfully long but they couldnt make exceptions for me to work overtime since I was there longer even though I did work. (Yes I was stupid!)
     
  6. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I don't think you are being silly at all. You sound extremely flexible with hours, but having her get there everyday early when you aren't open yet and expecting to leave earlier is rediculous. If you aren't open yet, then what is there for her to do? Take a half hour break until you open??
     
  7. Thanks for the responses everybody! I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable. I think I'm being very flexible, but, hey, I'm me :smile:

    I do a lot of teleworking, so it is a challenge to supervise my folks who come into the office everyday. Most of my day working at home is spent writing decisions from my arbitrations and mediations and my secretary always has a huge backlog of work to do. She is very, very busy - and generally quite trustworthy. She just gets these occasional turns of difficult child type thinking that drive me nuts. The issue of her hours and when she works is a particular sticking point with her.

    Sometimes it just helps to check in with other folks to make sure I'm really not being unreasonable. Same thing with the difficult child at home...
     
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hon, I worked a a secretary at a bank. My bosses worked 8 to 5 for one, 9 to 4 or earlier for the other. I worked 8 to 5. I had a choice of busses. One would get me to work at 7 50 or 8 10. I hate being late. The other bus got me to work in a downtown area at about 6 30 or 6 45. I took the earlier bus.

    While my boss would sometimes send me home at 4 30, for a nice treat, I still knew that it was my job to get to work at a specific time. If I was early I could work or do something else. I could go elsewhere. MY CHOICE.

    Your secretary can go get breakfast, or find a place to get her nails done, or sit and write a letter to someone. Or play minesweeper on the computer. She still needs to work the hours you set. You already are very generous.

    Susie
     
  9. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Not ridiculous at all. You are already WAY flexible. Just reinforce the earliest start time.
     
  10. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Another vote for you are not being silly.

    I for one would LOVE the opportunity to be at work, a half hour before anyone else, have a cup of coffee in peace and quiet, while I find my center. Might make the day go by smoother and certainly more pleasant.

    And she would only have to stay till 4, am I understanding this right?

    G to the FG.
     
  11. You've got it right BBK - and I agree. I come in early on my days in the office , just to get "settled in". That's why her concept of getting off early for coming in early is so alien to me. I'm sticking to my point of view!
     
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