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[GoingNorth]

This raises an interesting question: do you teach these kids that sex is "bad", or do you try to teach them what is and is not socially acceptable?

In the case of Michele's son, is he developmentally in a place where he can grasp the latter. I mean, urges are normal, its the behaviors, and the way and what he has urges FOR, that are abnormal/unacceptable.

 

[Roxona]

I will try to get the neuro psychiatric evaluation. I don't know if I need a Dr. To refer it?

We're in the process of getting an evaluation for SS10. The first thing my husband did was to call our insurance company and talk with them about what is covered. Our local children's psychiatric hospital was cover, so we made an appointment to meet with a counselor. This process just to get to the first counseling appointment took almost two months because of demand and urgency.

 

[Michele223]

What is SS10? I just told his counselor he is talking inappropriate a lot he said shut up Michele. Then I said it is sexual in topic he said your bisexual. Ugh

 

[GoingNorth]

Interesting. I'm sure he learned that at school, or read about it, assuming he is reading at that level..

Wish kids wouldn't use gender orientation and sexual orientation as epithets, though.

 

[Michele223]

He is so awful trying to provoke and attack me physically and verbally in the car the whole ride home!

 

[AppleCori]

Michelle,

This is really dangerous!

He is so awful trying to provoke and attack me physically and verbally in the car the whole ride home!

Next time he interferes with your driving, you should pull over and call the police. I'm serious. Maybe this is what it will take for you son to realize that doing this is serious.

Maybe it would help to have a policeman talk to him, as well as a paper trail that you will need to get him further help.

 

[AppleCori]

I believe SS10 means step son who is 10 years old.

 

[GoingNorth]

Michele, you can't' allow this to continue.If he attacks you again, in or out of the car, call the police for transport of a mentally ill child to hospital.

You may have to press charges to get through to your son. It may also be the only way to get him help,including that evaluation he so desperately needs.

 

[BusynMember]

Gn. The things I heard about sex were vile and meant to be. Yes, from four year olds. And three. And the cussing included anything you can think of in your imagination. I think it's ok to tell our kids that there are some things you don't say in public without making them hate sex later on. Most of the talk is inappropriate such as (☆loud voice with giggle) "you kids are all MFs." And that is mild!

 

[GoingNorth]

SWOT, you are saying exactly what I was saying: that the kids have got to be taught what is and is not SOCIALLY acceptable, as opposed to "sex is bad or dirty". In fact, with these kids, you have to counter that teaching while teaching proper social behavior.

If the kids didn't already believe that a body part or gender affiliation was dirty, they wouldn't be using the crude terms for them as epithets.

They are learning a lot of this from the adults in their life and social media, as well as from peers.

 

[BusynMember]

Our biggest offenders in the sex speech were kids that were basically already on cps radar and probably have been touched by an adult or seen their parents having sex. Unlikely they will see sex normally in their teens. They also were the ones who tried to act out. The others kids giggled at the words but did not pull down their pants or try to touch our boobs etc.
Kids who try to sexuality act put in my opinion need evaluations to see if they were or are being abused by an adult. They say it's one in four kids. Scary.

 

[Wiped Out]

Coming in late to this but want to add in my welcome. A lot of what you describe is scary.The car stuff scares me the most because that is so dangerous and my son used to get very violent especially in the car. In fact 3 of his hospitalizations came about as a result of him being violent in the car!

Also it's interesting if they are thinking bipolar at all that they have him on an anti-depressant. My son has bipolar and they wouldn't even consider an AD until the bipolar was stabilized.

 

[GoingNorth]

I'm on an AD, but couldn't so much as try on until I was stable on bipolar medications.

Tried an AD once before because my original diagnosis was ADHD and severe depression. My first psychiatrist trialed me on effexor. I promptly went manic.

 

[Michele223]

He seems manic and has been since mid March. The other time he attacked me in the car a couple years ago he was like this. He is on maximum Risperdal.

 

[GoingNorth]

Risperdal might not be the right AP for him. Has he been trialed on a mood stabilizer(s). If they suspect bipolar, trying a MS might not be a bad thing.

 

[Michele223]

Prozac strattera Risperdal guanfacine er

 

[GoingNorth]

An anti-depressant which is also used to treat anxiety (and isn't the best of 'em for that, and which he shouldn't be on if he's bipolar and will be starting tx)

Strattera. Bad news. Lots of mood and physical side effects. Low effectiveness for ADHD. The last one? A blood Pressure medication used to help with sleep and controlling aggression, which the Risperdal should be helping with.

You need to get him into a shrink and get his medications sorted.

 

[InsaneCdn]

If the kids didn't already believe that a body part or gender affiliation was dirty, they wouldn't be using the crude terms for them as epithets.

I personally know kids who were raised without the negative connotations around body parts etc. And they STILL came home with the language and behaviors, learned at school.

He seems manic and has been since mid March. The other time he attacked me in the car a couple years ago he was like this. He is on maximum Risperdal.

He is 16 if I remember. Which is the worst possible age in some ways - still stuck in the "child and youth" system that refuses to provide accurate diagnoses because they don't want the kids to end up with labels (and what do they end up with? really negative labels because of behavior challenges) - and not quite old enough to be bumped to the adult system.

Here, once they hit 17, they can get in to adult services. And for us, adult services finally got us some accurate diagnoses (especially the mental health ones), AND some fairly good work on medications.

How long has he been on risperidone? It isn't supposed to be a long-term medication, and has a tendency to cause some level of liver damage. If it's been more than a couple of years, he should be changing medications anyway.

 

[GoingNorth]

Risperidone is also the AAP most likely to cause increases in prolactin levels that, in boys, can lead to breast development and even lactation.

Plus no adolescent boy, with testosterone and androgenic hormones flooding their bodies, needs a shot of female hormone from medication thrown into that mess.

Didn't know risp was bad for the liver. Knew Depakote was as I had to go off of it when my liver enzymes went whacky.

 

[pigless in VA]

Welcome, Michele. This child is 14 years old, IC. I second the idea that his medications are probably not working right and a phone call to the prescribing doctor is in order. Michele, tell that doctor exactly what you told us,

He seems manic and has been since mid March. The other time he attacked me in the car a couple years ago he was like this.

I also agree that an intense evaluation at a children's hospital is in order. They take time to set-up though.

This is a scary situation for you. You definitely need a rhino suit for those ugly things your child says. The rhino suit is our idea of stepping into a suit which gives you the supermom powers. The more you can ignore his verbal assaults, the less power he has. And those ugly words are not the most concerning part of his behaviors.

I also offer you a group hug of support. We know your situation is incredibly difficult. We care. We offer advice in the hope that it might give you an idea of something helpful to do. You are an incredible warrior mom. You've tried so many different ways to get your son help. Keep up the fight, but keep your daughters and yourself safe.