Hey, Deb

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by DDD, Mar 26, 2008.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    You haven't given an update (that I've seen) since difficult child became a Daddy and you became a Grandma. How's it going? DDD
  2. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Being a grandma is wonderful !

    It's so funny because when people found out I was going to be a grandma, they'd ask how I felt about it. How do you know how you'll feel before something happens? I had no idea.

    I was right there in the delivery room, and from the moment my little grandson was born, I've been head over heels in love. He has truly stolen my heart, and husband's and his Uncle/Godfather's and Aunt/Godmother's (my other two kids) as well.

    difficult child is a wonderful dad. Seeing him holding his son just makes my heart swell, seriously. To think of how bad things were at one point, and to now see him drug-free, working full time, and providing for his fiance (more on that below) and his son is amazing.

    He and his girlfriend had gone ring shopping about 3 weeks prior to her due date, and they were going to apply for a marriage license and just go to the courthouse. (Heck, difficult child probably has his own "wing" there, with all the fines he's paid over the years.) My little grandson gave his mother grief, her BiPolar (BP) kept going up, and they ended up putting her in the hospital 2 weeks early and inducing labor.

    So, they are engaged. I'm not sure when they are planning to marry, but I think it will be soon.

    She took to motherhood immediately and really is a sweetheart.

    Sundays have become "dinner at mom and dad's" since his birth. They come over and usually my older son and his fiance come, my mom (now "GG" - Great Grandmother) and sometimes my mother in law (the other "GG") and my daughter in college tries to come home every other Sunday - so we can all see the little guy. We all fight over holding him. lol.

    So ... life is good at the Ephchap house these days. It's nice now that none of the kids live here, that we get to see them every Sunday, or every other Sunday. It's a nice chance to catch up with everyone - but not have them here under one roof full-time. lol.

    Thanks for thinking of us.

  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Your post, my friend, is "exactly" what I hoped to read. I can't tell you how happy I am that life has turned around for you guys. :D DDD

    PS: When is your older son getting married??
  4. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Thanks so much, DDD. Yes, you and many of the long-time members know how bad things were for my family, so I'm sure you can understand how tickled I am to have things going so well now.

    Oldest is getting married in August. My daughter is one of the bridesmaids and they have ordered their dresses. difficult child is one of the groomsmen and he and husband just went and were fitted for their tuxes. I can't believe how early you have to do those things. Sheesh.

    AGain, thanks for sharing in my joy of watching difficult child become a fine young man.

  5. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Wow that is great! I sure wish I could post something like that! It seems it has been such a long time coming. I just get scared about relapses and such. I am glad for you and your family.
  6. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    ongratulations Deb! I'm living vicariously thorugh you right now and hoping and praying that someday I will experience the same joy. I'm several years behind you and seems I have more pain to walk through before we can even think of getting there, but I hold out hope.

    Enjoy the little guy, and having your family for those Sunday dinners. You all deserve it.

  7. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Deb---So glad things are going well. My pcson has a son and I can tell you this grandma thing just gets better and better. My gs is almost two---and he is such a joy. We only see him once a month since they moved last august---but on "our" weekend---husband and I have a ball. Welcome to the "isn't being a grandma a lot more fun" club!
  8. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member


    With substance abuse and alcoholism, it truly is "one day at a time". I don't know if you ever stop worrying about relapse. My difficult child brother was sober for 11 years and fell off the wagon hard a few years ago and hasn't climbed back up on that wagon for any length of time since. 11 years! Like I said, you never stop holding your breath. At some point,however, you have to let them "own it". It's their addiction, and you can't get sucked in time and time again. I am truly thankful for each day/week/month/year my difficult child has been drug free. It's something I never take for granted.


    Thanks so very much. You know what a long, dark road my familiy went down with my son. I wondered if my son would ever celebrate another birthday at one point when things were the darkest.

    There is hope. They can turn things around. It's not easy, but it can be done.

    Hopefully as J matures, she will also turn things around. Unfortunately, she, like my difficult child and other difficult child's, make it a wild ride for us along the way. I never did like roller coasters. :sad-very:

    Hang in there, and thanks again for the good wishes.


    Yes, I absolutely love being a grandma! Thanks for the welcome to the club!

  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Dear Sis,

    I am delighted to hear the coos and coochie coos in your voice. It's so nice to see you smile. I am sure the little fella is just darling.
    My hugs and love to you - Seems like your endurance and love paid off tremendously for your son.

    Give my hugs to flipper. I haven't forgotten her - I just bet she's a beauty - always has been. How about her back? Any better?

    Many hugs & Loads of love
  10. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Thanks so much, Star. Yes, it certainly has been a long time coming.

    I've had a little less time to spend on the board lately, but have tried to keep up as best I can. I've certainly been following Dude's sagas of late, and even if I don't get a chance to respond because I'm at work and am just "peeking" at the board, my heart goes out to you. We've been in the trenches together for so long, and my hope for Dude is that he also turns things around.

    "Flipper" is doing great. She's at college and though she still misses gymnastics terribly, she's finally come to terms with it, I think. She hasn't had a spinal epidural injection in almost two years, and though she's had some not so great days, she's doing okay enough that she doesn't want to get one. Her doctor still refers to her as the Human Pincushion because of how many injections she went through.

    She coaches a bit from time to time so is still involved, just not the way she had always dreamed of. I'll certainly let her know her Auntie Star asked about her.

    Hugs to you and Dude,
  11. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    So glad things worked out so well for you. Hopefully, his son and the future he is seeing will keep him straight. It is so good to hear that things are looking up for all of your family.