Hi....I am new and have a strange dilemma.
My 20 year old daughter is in her 2nd rehab in about a year. I visited her yesterday. She told me that she wasn't an alcoholic. I didn't object even thought I thought she was full of you-know-what. However, she has never said that to me before --- even though the first rehab, the halfway houses, etc. I just let her talk. She said she had drank on and off but didn't start at 14 as she said earlier but at 17. She admitted to being drunk a few times. She denied drug usage except for what I had been told before so that matches.
We forced her to go to rehab after she got a DUI and then a few months later, was failing school and telling us she had a drinking poblem. I asked her why she went if she wasn't an alcoholic. She said life where she was wasn't working out so she thought a change of geography would help. This rehab was in a major city and we live in a tiny town. She's always had HUGE HUGE self-esteem issues. I'll admit to snooping for a while and seeing her brag about a lot of crazy stuff that I know she never did. So, she is now saying she did the same thing but with drinking. So her story matches her previous history of lying and trying to be someone she isn't. During high school she always acted angry at friends who were drinking a lot, partying, etc. She wasn't. I chalked all that up to her being judgmental and feeling left out. She wasn't friends with anyone in the wild crowds until the last few months or so before rehab.At the same time, a lot of what she has told us about her usage seems impossible as she claimed all these wild nights out but I know she was home with us. Sure, she could have snuck out, etc. but I doubt she could have carried on as she claims without us not EVER EVEN ONCE catching her. We never once found alcohol or drugs or ever saw her drunk. I don't understand how she would have gotten the money for as much alcohol as she claims to be drinking -- like a case of beer every day before she went to rehab. Nothing is missing from our home. Sure, she may have pocketed some cash here and there but she couldn't have stolen much from us. No one ever told us she was acting out --- in this small town, stuff gets around.
In our talk....She didn't ask me for anything. She didn't even hint. She did say she had major problems in her relationship with G-d and knew that had to change. She also said that she had allowed other people's opinions to control her life and her world. She was really calm and not defensive at all. She ended up in the second rehab last week because she got thrown out of the halfway house. This time it was for stealing another residents property. She called and told us she had been drinking and stole because she was drunk. We took her back to rehab.
I just don't know what to think. I don't know what to do.
My 20 year old daughter is in her 2nd rehab in about a year. I visited her yesterday. She told me that she wasn't an alcoholic. I didn't object even thought I thought she was full of you-know-what. However, she has never said that to me before --- even though the first rehab, the halfway houses, etc. I just let her talk. She said she had drank on and off but didn't start at 14 as she said earlier but at 17. She admitted to being drunk a few times. She denied drug usage except for what I had been told before so that matches.
We forced her to go to rehab after she got a DUI and then a few months later, was failing school and telling us she had a drinking poblem. I asked her why she went if she wasn't an alcoholic. She said life where she was wasn't working out so she thought a change of geography would help. This rehab was in a major city and we live in a tiny town. She's always had HUGE HUGE self-esteem issues. I'll admit to snooping for a while and seeing her brag about a lot of crazy stuff that I know she never did. So, she is now saying she did the same thing but with drinking. So her story matches her previous history of lying and trying to be someone she isn't. During high school she always acted angry at friends who were drinking a lot, partying, etc. She wasn't. I chalked all that up to her being judgmental and feeling left out. She wasn't friends with anyone in the wild crowds until the last few months or so before rehab.At the same time, a lot of what she has told us about her usage seems impossible as she claimed all these wild nights out but I know she was home with us. Sure, she could have snuck out, etc. but I doubt she could have carried on as she claims without us not EVER EVEN ONCE catching her. We never once found alcohol or drugs or ever saw her drunk. I don't understand how she would have gotten the money for as much alcohol as she claims to be drinking -- like a case of beer every day before she went to rehab. Nothing is missing from our home. Sure, she may have pocketed some cash here and there but she couldn't have stolen much from us. No one ever told us she was acting out --- in this small town, stuff gets around.
In our talk....She didn't ask me for anything. She didn't even hint. She did say she had major problems in her relationship with G-d and knew that had to change. She also said that she had allowed other people's opinions to control her life and her world. She was really calm and not defensive at all. She ended up in the second rehab last week because she got thrown out of the halfway house. This time it was for stealing another residents property. She called and told us she had been drinking and stole because she was drunk. We took her back to rehab.
I just don't know what to think. I don't know what to do.