His mouth is

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, May 21, 2007.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    driving me crazy. Almost everything that comes out of it is swearing and put downs these days. He has started wanting to use the "n" word and we said absoultely not so now he is using his own version "igger" I absolutely hate it. I know he is hearing it at school because husband is at his school and says kids say it a lot.

    One day last week he called me two swear words then asked for my help on something. I said why would I do that after he had called me every name in the book. He said he hadn't called me every name and listed two or three he hadn't. :hammer:

    Today at school he called his teacher a retard.

    I'm so tired of his mouth I've been thinking soap or a gag is a good idea-just kidding. Maybe hypnosis would work :hypnosis:

    What do you do to help your difficult children curb their mouths?
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    Hon, I used dish soap on the tongue. Just a dab does the trick. Honest, it won't poison him.

    My kids are grown and still try very very hard NOT to swear in front of me. :rofl:

  3. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    My son is 13, and he is constantly getting in trouble because of his foul mouth. He has been suspended from school two times this year because teachers have heard his talking to his friends when he was saying the F-word. Swearing anywhere on the school grounds is not permitted at all, so they immediately suspend difficult child whenever they hear his use those words. We punish difficult child when we hear him swearing by taking away something that he really likes. So far it hasn't worked at all. If you can get him so stay still long enough to put some soap on his tongue, that may make an impact on him. I have a friend who does this and she always uses Irish Spring, because that soap is supposed to taste the worst. You could also put a small drop of hot sauce on his tongue, just to make the point that he has a dirty mouth.
    Good luck, and let me know if anything works for you.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I did the soap too. Or hot sauce. Others have tried brushing teeth for it. You could always try the overuse approach where you make him stand in front of a mirror and say the words loudly for half an hour or more.

    get creative...potty mouth gets potty duty.
  5. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    difficult child does not swear in front of me, or atleast thinks he is out of ear's reach. The words he does use, which I absolutely hate are "fricken" and "gay" Everything is "gay". Just sounds so bad. At school they tell me he swears, which I don't doubt, but haven't really heard that language at home.
    The "gay" thing we tried to address since a very close family member has chosen an alternative life style. He has no issues with the lifestyle and is very open to her, gets a long great with her and her friend. We try to point out how using that word really puts her down. He doesn't see the connection. To me it is the same as using the "n" word. Just not acceptable and sounds terrible. Haven't been able to get through to him though. husband said his father used laundry soap..back whe it only was in the powder form.
  6. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I did the soap on the mouth when difficult child was younger, although it was for smarting off to me...she doesn't swear in front of me. Neither does easy child. When easy child's friends are over, I hear them swearing. Yes, they are older, but it's been that way for several years. Maybe try taking the "bad" out of swearing. For example, I know the kids are going to swear, so the rule in this house is that they are not allowed to swear when talking to me. They can swear all they want when talking to their friends. I do have a firm rule against anything derogatory, the N word or the other F word, and it's amazing how a 6' tall kid (not my easy child, he's only 5'9, but it works on him, too - all kids in my house are treated as my own) will go straight to their knees when you grab their ear. So, I don't hear those words in my house anymore. But, more importantly, I've taken the "fun" out of swearing by allowing them to do it. Of course, I'm comparing easy child kids to difficult child kids, but I just wanted to throw another idea out there.
  7. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sharon - I just cannot control what goes into or comes out of the tweedles mouths. I still demand a modicum of respect in our home. The soap or hot sauce thing hasn't worked & wasn't worth the ensuing meltdowns.

    My comments to kt & wm's terms of endearment are "thank you for sharing" "I appreciate knowing that" or "wrong gender, sweetie".

    It does more to stop them in their tracks. We've gotten to the point where wm asks for a redo & immediately rephrases his comments.

    kt catches herself now & apologizes.

    It's so hard to hear these words out of our difficult children!
  8. branbran

    branbran New Member

    I agree "Thank you for sharing" sounds like a good response.

    I have found the angrier I get, the more empowered my difficult child beomes. The less I engage the better. I have found that allowing her to rope me in gives her a thrill and she'll keep on and keep on until the cows come home!!!!!!!!!!!

    It is very hard, I am so guilty of returning the compliments from time to time. After an hour or so - I LOSE IT!!!! More so in the begining, I have sort of trained myself to stay calm and try to either ignore her or say things like " Well, thank you". Adds much less salt to the wound and calms her much quicker.

    My difficult children thereapist tells me all the time, My daughter just doesn't have the ability to remember a consequence. So soap in the mouth never worked for me. She says she is too impulsive and wont think before she reacts, therefore there simply insn't enough time for her to remember that the last time she was disrespectful she got soap her mouth.

    Needless to say I have been cursed out many, many, many times. And many, many, many more to come. Oh - yay!!!

    It really stinks being battered by our children. And only parents like us would ever understand it. My friends who do not have difficult children just dont get it. I often feel as though they judge me. They dont empathize because they dont have a clue!!!

    I know what your going through. Hang in there.
  9. guest3

    guest3 Guest

    ugh I am not the only one with a swaring sailor on my home? The 16 y/o is who started it and the difficult child II just follows along. But difficult child II also pinches and hits, sigh............
  10. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Yeah, soap in the mouth or consequences have never worked for us either. Lately, the only thing that works - especially when he uses the N word, is for me to leave the room or house. I make a big deal of "not wanting to be around that disgusting talk, and if he wants to talk that way he can do it alone". It leaves him literally and figuratively speechless. When I come back in, I ask him if he is ready to talk like he is a member of our family, and if he says no, then I just leave again. It actually works very well.........because who wants to talk that way to themselves? They talk this way for the reaction they get.
    This probably works more effectively for me because it is just the 2 of us - but the concept could be modified for each family member until your difficult child realizes that there is really no one listening to his crap.
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks all,

    When he was younger (he's been swearing a long time) we did try a bit of soap-didn't help at all. Now he is getting too big and it would be almost impossible even if I wanted to. We try to calmly remind him he shouldn't be speaking that way. We are going to try a reward system to see how it works but the past two weeks have been unbelievably busy and we haven't set it up yet.

    I like the idea of leaving the room-not sure if it will work with my difficult child or not-but it's worth a try.

    In the past I have used the thanks for sharing response-hasn't helped much but I may need to try it again.

    I just get so tired of hearing the filth spew from his mouth.