Well...again I have that "can't put my thoughts into feelings" feeling. I woke up yesterday and realized that as a parent, I cannot continue to just allow difficult child to control this entire house on EVERYTHING. The night before he tried to get me and husband to let him watch the big screen TV in the living room because HE doesn't want to watch the smaller (but by no means, small) TV in his room. I was really just appalled that this is his thinking and embarrassed in front of his friend who says "no sir" and "no ma'am" to everything we ask him (military background). Anyway, I just made up my mind that SOMETHING has to change. When he gets out of bed, he immediately starts..."can I call this one....I told him that he can make calls and have someone over today but he had to take a shower (no shower Fri.) and he had to do at least a little bit of schoolwork. He threw a FIT!! It went on probably about an hour until easy child told him he would sit and help him. (mind you, I told him the same thing). So he did about 6 math problems with our help (only took about 15 minutes). He had 6 problems left and 20 minutes reading. All of a sudden, he will do nothing else AND refuses to take a shower. Well...there was no way I was backing down. I was asking so little of him. It turned into a very aggressive, destructive tantrum that went on for literally about 3 hours. husband came home from work - still had more problems last night. Today has been fine. He woke up, took shower, did some math with my help, and went bowling with husband. Will be home soon to play with friend. I feel that if I have any chance of keeping difficult child home, I CANNOT keep letting him tell me he can't and won't do the littlest things. It's just so frustrating and exhausting. Then, easy child was hurt because I had promised to go with him to church last night but just couldn't... One more thing...I'm sure I'll get some mixed thoughts on this. husband and I have decided to s-l-o-w-l-y wean him off the tenex and abilify because we have not seen him off medications since he was six and frankly, I don't see how it could get much worse. We want to see what we're dealing with before adding anything else.